How to choose middle names?

So middle names:
[name_f][/name_f]how do you choose your middle names?
[name_f][/name_f]Did you choose not to have any?Why?
[name_f][/name_f]Did you choose more than one? Why?
[name_f][/name_f]What sold you on the middle name?
[name_f][/name_f]Did you or your partner choose?
[name_f][/name_f]Is it honouring someone?
[name_f][/name_f]Your favourite middle ideas?

[name_f][/name_f]

The reason I ask is bc I really struggle with middle names :sweat_smile:[name_f][/name_f] it’s not that I don’t have choices, I do, I have a looong list of middle names.
[name_f][/name_f]I just feel so uninspired by middle names. I put a lot of thought into first names but middles I just forget about.
[name_f][/name_f]I would love middle name for my future babies, but I was thinking of just letting my partner choose bc idk at all how to choose.
[name_f][/name_f]I don’t have any family to name after either, which isn’t helping x

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So literally what we did was took our whole list of names we agreed on, and went down the list saying out loud the first name with each remaining name on the list. Any that sounded okay we wrote down to the side. Then we went back through that written list and began eliminating. Kept going over it and saying them out loud until we got down to one combination left that we thought sounded the best. There was no real special meaning in it besides we just loved the sound and flow. Now for baby #2[name_f][/name_f] we’ve been considering matching their middle to our first baby’s middle so I just took the list of middles that would fit the potential theme and went down the list that way.

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Some of my kids’ middles are family honor names, some are after a favorite historical figure, some are for their meaning.

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[name_f]My[/name_f] kids all have uncommon first names and more familiar middle names [name_f][/name_f]- I like the balance that gives. Some people might do the opposite and give a common first name with an unusual middle.

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We actually had more of an idea about middle names than first names for our son, for awhile. We always planned on passing down one of my husband’s middle names. We also planned on giving our son two middle names, pretty early on. [name_f]My[/name_f] husband has two middles and I adore how the fn mn mn ln flow goes.
[name_f][/name_f]Once we figured out his first name, we brainstormed the other middle name and which order we wanted them in. It ended up being purely by sound at that point. [name_f][/name_f] As far as who chose it, we both tossed around ideas. [name_f]My[/name_f] husband really was a fan of one and I really wanted the other. The first middle name spot came down to two choices- [name_m]Theodore[/name_m] and [name_m]Nathaniel[/name_m]- and we mutually decided we liked [name_m]Nathaniel[/name_m] more.

[name_f][/name_f]

What sold us on the middles? Their significance. I found it very special for our son to carry part of his dad’s name in his own, beyond the surname. His other middle name, I take a bit of a namenerd pride in lol. We took my late grandfather’s name, [name_m]Nate[/name_m], and my husband’s brother’s name, [name_m]Nathan[/name_m], and chose [name_m]Nathaniel[/name_m]. It worked out very well!

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They do honor, as I mentioned above. The thing is though, we learned a lesson on honor names. Relationships and people change. We person we almost named our son after changed in a big way and I’m glad we chose something else. For a second child, we aren’t looking so hard for honor names. At least not at family names. [name_u]Honor[/name_u] names can be honoring anything that holds meaning to you. A song. A flower. A vacation destination. Your favorite artist.

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I choose middle names for a few different reasons:

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    [name_f][/name_f]
  • Creating balance [name_f][/name_f] [name_f][/name_f]- if the first name is more unusual, I tend to go with a more grounded middle [name_f][/name_f]- something more classic. If the first name is more familiar, I’ll probably go with a bolder middle!
  • [name_f][/name_f]
  • To use a name I wouldn’t use in the first spot [name_f][/name_f]- there are lots of names I really like but wouldn’t use as firsts [name_f][/name_f]- maybe they’re too popular, too unusual for my tastes, too close to a family name, don’t quite fit my criteria for a first in some way
  • [name_f][/name_f]
  • Flow/vibe [name_f][/name_f]- sometimes I just pick names that have the right flow and sound with the first name [name_f][/name_f]- that create a coherent vibe and sound
  • [name_f][/name_f]
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I also have a hard time with making combos (and I’m not even actually naming a baby yet). I have plenty of ideas for firsts and middles, but choosing just which names should go together is hard.
I don’t really focus on honour names for family too much. There are some that I would consider, but it’s mostly just because I like the name itself. Most of my middles are names that I’m not brave enough to put in a first spot, names that I have loved for ages but don’t necessarily want in the first spot, and names from songs and books. When I add middles to my firsts, I usually consider sound, but something I also make combos that, say, have one mythological name and one word name, or one Scandinavian name and one nature name, because I like how having that kind of them ties together sets of names.
I used to think that I would only use one middle, because more than that, especially without significant honouring purposes, seemed like it would be superfluous at best and annoying at worst. However, I’m reconsidering. I don’t plan on having many children, and I don’t want to have regrets about their names because I left an old favourite behind. I also, despite not wanting to honour specific people, have interest in honouring parts of my heritage and other things that are significant to me.

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If you mean for my children: it was different for each child.

With our oldest, we used a family name from my ex-husband’s family, [name_m]Emmanuel[/name_m]. It honors a family member my ex-husband had a good relationship with. And as Catholics, the religious meaning was a huge plus.

With B., we chose his middle name, Húni, because it honors my heritage. [name_f]My[/name_f] husband isn’t too keen on Icelandic names as first names, so we used it in the middle name spot. The meaning is “bear cub” which ties it nicely to my oldest son’s first name, as he as an Icelandic first name meaning “deer”.
L.'s middle name, Pythagoras, is just a name that makes me happy every time I say it out loud. [name_f]My[/name_f] husband is a maths geek and Ancient Greece enthusiast, so it seemed perfect.
E., middle name, Zakynthos, has a special meaning to me and my twin brother (as a place name) and it shares the Ancient Greek roots with his twin brother’s middle name Pythagoras.
For our daughter due in [name_u]December[/name_u] we went with a middle name that honors husband’s grandmother and great-grandmother. We’re adding a second middle because we felt the name needs some extra sparkle. I won’t reveal it yet :wink:

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Honours aside, I mainly think about flow, not having too many repeating letters/sounds, and making sure everything fits with the surname. I also know my taste in names skews towards the long and fanciful, so I try to balance combinations so they have something more down-to-earth in there as well! :sweat_smile:

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