I love unusual names. My boyfriend and I have been together for three years, and we plan to have a kid one day. I love names, and I came across the name [name_m]Conan[/name_m].
I fell in love!! I absolutely love it. It’s unique without sounding too weird, and I honestly think the associations with it are pretty cool. A warrior and a comedian, not bad to me! Also my boyfriend has Scottish, English, and Irish in him, so it ties in to our heritage. Meaning is “little wolf” or I’ve seen strong as the meaning too.
The boyfriend absolutely hates it though…so I need a way to convince him.
We’ve had this problem with many names, most notably [name_f]Zuzu[/name_f], which is sadly off the list forever. I think the best thing to do is to figure out why he hates it. Also, try asking about it at different times, sometimes my SO just isn’t in the mood for a certain name. You can’t make him like it, but you can point out the good things about it and try to address his concerns.
Sometimes it just takes time to get used to and come around to a name. I wouldn’t bring it up a ton or really press the issue because that may make him dig in his heels more. But just keep it around on a shortlist of names that you guys talk about occasionally. The good thing is that time is on your side as you’re not pressured by a due date.
That said, sometimes people just have to give up their #1 name choice because of their partner’s opinion. Naming is the first of Many parenting compromises.
I’ve had problems with Husband and [name_f]Ophelia[/name_f]. What I did with this was play [name_f]Natalie[/name_f] Merchant’s gorgeous record “[name_f]Ophelia[/name_f]” over and over again and taking him to look at Waterhouse’s stunning [name_f]Ophelia[/name_f] paitings. I guess I should mention that he is a huge fan of [name_f]Natalie[/name_f] Merchant and Waterhouse, so it was kind of in the cards… but those are the only things I can think of. Find things he loves relating to the name somehow, put a list of names you like on the fridge or on the bathroom mirror, he might just need to get used to it. Or show him pictures of adorable little wolf pups and refer to them as [name_m]Conan[/name_m]. Does he like [name_m]Sherlock[/name_m] [name_m]Holmes[/name_m]? [name_m]Author[/name_m]'s name: [name_m]Arthur[/name_m] [name_m]Conan[/name_m] [name_m]Doyle[/name_m].
I actually have a sneaky method with this that works…at least it does on my husband!
I don’t press the issue or show extreme disappointment when he says he dislikes a name that I love. I kind of let it go. The way our naming process goes is that I suggest names & he vetoes them & mocks them. Fun, right? And eventually I make a list of names that he didn’t completely hate. I will put a few names that he did hate. About 3 that he despised and than the one that I am secretly really helping to sell him on. He will get annoyed that I included the 2-4 completely insane choices and pretty much forget about the one I am trying to push. Than it’s a delicate dance of not pushing the issue too much or too often. Than I try to put some positive associations out there for him. Everyone loves [name_m]Sherlock[/name_m] [name_m]Holmes[/name_m], right? Or it could be a less literal association. [name_m]Just[/name_m] point out something that reminds you of some aspect of the name or point out a cute kid that you think would wear it especially well. I played it cool with my favorite and just left it on our list & put it back when he took it off, but eventually I think it started to feel familiar to him and that became a positive trait. I don’t know if this would work for everyone, but subtle manipulation works great over here
[name_f]Patience[/name_f]. Right now his reaction is “Like the Barbarian?” but if he knows it’s your favorite name, he’ll start to notice it on other people and kids, and realize it’s not as weird as he thinks. Hopefully by the time you get around to having kids, his reaction will have changed to “Like ____'s favorite name.”
On the other hand, if you want him to be flexible, you have to be too.
What worked for me was helping my husband to see how “cool” the name is. For example, my husband loves kiteboarding. So I was like “imagine a pro kite boarder named [name_m]Jasper[/name_m].” It’s that cool? Also if you just start jokingly say when looking at baby items or clothing “won’t this look so cute on [name_m]Conan[/name_m]” he may warm up to the idea. Slowly
Thanks for tge replies guys! He’ll warm up eventually…heheheh. he also likes to say he doesn’t like names when he does, for whatever reason. I like the manipulation idea…
I think it is just about giving him time. When I mentioned my love for the name Minnow, my husband was all, “That’s a gross little fish!” I mentioned it again after a few months and he was much less disgusted. Who knows if he’ll ever go for it…but I wouldn’t want him to if he really did hate it.
My policy is that a veto is a veto. I wouldn’t want to name my kid a name that his father hated, even if only at first.
And looking back over names I’ve brought to the table in the past, I’m glad he vetoed some of them. I think sometimes in our little daydreaming nameberry bubbles we get wrapped up in the idea of a name too much to see how unfit it would be in real life. It’s a good thing to have feedback, even if it’s negative.
IME, a lot of men seem very concerned with any weirdness that might lead to teasing, especially when it comes to boys. If he becomes convinced that [name_m]Conan[/name_m] will fit in seamlessly with his peers, he may be more likely to consider the name. Statistics and anecdotes about normal people named [name_m]Conan[/name_m] could help your case more than talking about how cool the meaning or celebrity namesakes are.
Well then we will have a future of nameless children…he hates every single name I like XD He just recently admitted to liking a few, and he was tipsy when he did. Lol. He does like [name_u]Jameson[/name_u], [name_u]Mason[/name_u], [name_m]Greyson[/name_m], and for a girl he likes [name_f]Adeline[/name_f]. Usually he just brushes it off, and doesn’t give an actual opinion on it -___- even if he actually likes the name lol
If it turned out he honestly really hated the name I would not go for it. But since I’m probably not having one anytime soon, we have lots of time to decide haha.
This happened to me quite a bit. My husband doesn’t take the naming process seriously until we are actually pregnant. He didn’t like to play my game of “what do you think about ___ for a boy/ for a girl?” There were names that I would bring up repeatedly. It did happen one time that he came around on a name I really loved ([name_f]India[/name_f] - it was a family name and extremely important to me). All other times, his negative response was final (thus no [name_f]Saskia[/name_f], [name_u]Winter[/name_u], [name_f]Eulalia[/name_f], [name_m]Boaz[/name_m], [name_m]Zebedee[/name_m], etc for us). I do feel good that we have agreed on all our names. I think it is very important. And it is only the beginning. As one previous poster said, it is the first of many parenting compromises.
Yeah…my boyfriend said he won’t know the same till the kids born. but…I love names and i’m always searching new ones and like knowing his opinion so I at least know what kind of names he’s into XD
He’s very traditional too, he likes names that are quite common. I’m the opposite, I love names that are rare. It’s probably because his name is [name_m]Brandon[/name_m] and my name is [name_f]Beryl[/name_f] though, lol.
Does he like [name_m]Sherlock[/name_m] [name_m]Holmes[/name_m]? [name_m]Author[/name_m]'s name: [name_m]Arthur[/name_m] [name_m]Conan[/name_m] [name_m]Doyle[/name_m].
