How to deal with mum?

General Name Discussion
1

It’s hard enough getting my partner to agree to a name… once I got over that obstacle, I then have to get over the next one - My mother. She has so many ‘rules’ when it comes to names. There were so many names I loved and just didn’t go with because my mum ‘vetoed’ them. To her names have to be Welsh, or Welsh sounding. Not belong to ‘old ladies’. Not be ‘Boys names on Girls’. Not sound made up… the list goes on.

I’m not pregnant at the moment, but I am working on my list now I’ve had my daughter - I’m working on sister and brother names, and also names for various characters I like to write. But it’s so difficult discussing names with my mum as she hates most of my favourites… especially the boys. And she hates the one name my partner has agreed on.

Part of me knows it’s my decision and it’s not up to her… but when it comes to my daughter, she always has to make a sly comments about her middle name. Things like ‘She doesn’t suit [name_f]Lace[/name_f]’. Or ‘A Welsh name would have been better’. Things like that… I don’t want this for the rest of my children. What do I do?

2

Wow, that’s really rude of her! Have you told her to not make comments like that? I have a feeling she’ll find a way to complain no matter what, even if it’s not about names, so it’s no use appeasing her with a Welsh name. I would stand your ground and choose names you and your partner love. Your mom will have to learn how to keep those thoughts to herself!

3

Ugh this reminds me of my overbearing and hypercritical mother. I agree with pp! Your mother is entitled to her own opinions and preferences, but it is not ok for her to be critical and rude. Why run your list by her at all? Pick the name that you and your partner love and stand your ground. When she criticizes your choices calmly ask her to stop and please treat you both (and your child!) with more respect. If she takes offense at this you can explain to her that her continuous negative comments are inappropriate and unkind. Ignore her comments and let them bother you as little as you possibly can - don’t cave in to her rudeness and let her walk all over you and your partner’s right to give YOUR OWN children names that you love. Hugs and good luck!

Edit I just wanted to say also fwiw I think your daugter’s name is lovely!

4

Ugh…I’m sorry, but she’s being really rude. My family is the same way, which is why name discussions ONLY occur between my husband and I :confused: I agree with the other ladies, to talk with her next time she does this. Another [additional] option could be to tell her that you guys are taking your time to hunt for names that mean something to you/that jump out at you. Of course, she will likely offer suggestions, which you can let float in one ear and out the other. No disrespect intended, but I’m not sure why people feel the need to dictate how couples name their own children…and that’s coming from a name nerd who definitely has opinions on names. I’m sorry you have to deal with that! I hope you and your partner can find names that you both like!