I seem to be in a dilemma I love so many names that I can’t seem to pick just one. [name]How[/name] did you pick the perfect name?
Well, if it’s a name you’re going to use on a child, trying asking other people about it for their reactions so that your child will get mostly positive reactions on their name.
Otherwise, just have a masterlist and pare it down. Have names go against each other and the one you like best of the two gets to stay while the other leaves, kind of like matches towards the finals!
I put them through a set of criteria, like must-have or can’t-have. For me, it can’t start with a B or contain a Z because of my last name. It can’t be religious, has to sound at least respectable on a resume, I can’t be embarrassed shouting it out loud, it has to age well and have a nickname I like, and have some literary/historical/mythological importance. That really narrows down the list and gets rid of names I like but don’t have enough value to me. I also like @undumbblonde’s suggestion of having the names battle each other for a spot on the final list.
Thanks, That really helps:D
I didn’t decide on the final name combination until after I held my baby in my arms. The first name I picked out because it holds great meaning to me given that it was my late mother’s name, I had some other first names I had seriously considered using but that was the name I always kept coming back to. The middle name however, I had a helluva time trying to come up with one that’d go well with the first and last name, I had a list of names but the one I ended up picking wasn’t even on that list, it was on my guilty pleasure list of names. I was alone there in the hospital and holding my newborn and I thought why not give her a cool/quirky middle name, so I started saying it aloud and realized it flowed nicely and it suited her.
Basically pick a name that has a good meaning to you, sounds good to you, and one that would suit an adult as well as a child.
Above is great advice, not sure there’s much I can add! [name]One[/name] thing that really cut down my list was that my husband had to love it too. He’s much more conservative in his name preferences than I am! Meaning was another way I cut down choices too. Positive meanings pushed names further up the list when I struggled to find other ways to separate the good from the good. Also popularity. Nothing wrong with a popular name, but if it was in the top 10 we eliminated it from our list in case we got sick of hearing it everywhere.
My brain has a tendency to put names in style groups for each gender, then break them down to similar sounds. Many styles can overlap so some names can be inclued in different styles (eg. [name]Elizabeth[/name] can be considered a traditional name, a timeless classic and a Biblical name). Names from different styles can be mixed to create your family of siblings.
Traditional Names: [name]Elizabeth[/name], [name]Mary[/name], [name]James[/name], [name]William[/name], [name]Katherine[/name] etc…
Biblical Names: [name]Abigail[/name], [name]Hannah[/name], [name]Luke[/name], [name]Ethan[/name], [name]Martha[/name], [name]Tobias[/name], [name]Joshua[/name] etc…
Classical [name]Roman[/name]: [name]Cassius[/name], [name]Julius[/name], [name]Livia[/name], [name]Aurelia[/name] etc…
Greek Mythological: [name]Penelope[/name], [name]Cassandra[/name], [name]Daphne[/name], [name]Damon[/name] etc…
Vintage Names: [name]Edith[/name], [name]Agatha[/name], [name]Walter[/name], [name]Mabel[/name], [name]Millicent[/name], [name]Calvin[/name] etc…
Shakespearean Names: [name]Cordelia[/name], [name]Oliver[/name], [name]Horatio[/name], [name]Sebastian[/name], [name]Rosalind[/name] etc…
Word/Nature Names: [name]Violet[/name], [name]Peregrine[/name], [name]Rose[/name], [name]Sonnet[/name], [name]Cadence[/name], [name]Gray[/name] etc…
Place Names: [name]Georgia[/name], [name]Jericho[/name], [name]Abilene[/name], [name]London[/name], [name]Siena[/name] etc…
Unisex: [name]Quinn[/name], [name]Bailey[/name], [name]Taylor[/name], [name]Morgan[/name], [name]Riley[/name] etc…
Irish Names (or any other culture): [name]Donovan[/name], [name]Maeve[/name], [name]Niamh[/name], [name]Bridget[/name], [name]Liam[/name] etc…
After making a list of the different styles, I then split them into similar sounds/endings etc…For example, I’ll group together the boys names that end in “n” ([name]Duncan[/name], [name]Griffin[/name], [name]Gideon[/name]) or girls names that end in “a” ([name]Amelia[/name], [name]Julia[/name], [name]Louisa[/name]). Personally, as a rule, I don’t like children to have names that are too similar or matchy because each child is an individual. Ideally, it’s best to choose one name that sounds and looks “unique” for each sibling. And always choose an name you love! [name]Hope[/name] this helps you to narrow down your choices!
Once you have a list, I would suggest that you research and investigate each name on the Internet. Look at cultural associations or negative connections that may cause teasing in the future. I would also advise you to drop by the Social Security Administration website to look up a name’s popularity. Good luck in your search!
You just know. As soon as I heard “Its a boy”, my sons name left my lips without thinking. You may pick one out and then meet them and something else will fit better…Dont focus on being unique or finding the rarest name ever…read everything. write it all down…widdle away until youre left with a few top contenders and then the right one will find you;)
I remembered that my Grandmothers both disliked their names.
[name]Blossom[/name] [name]May[/name] thought she sounded like a cow and [name]Myrtle[/name] [name]Marie[/name] always went by her middle name.
My first son was not supposed to be [name]Patrick[/name], I had [name]Alexander[/name] [name]Hugh[/name] picked out. But he looked at me and was [name]Patrick[/name]!
[name]Nicholas[/name] [name]Ivan[/name], had his name picked out way before birth . I like the nn [name]Nick[/name] or [name]Nicky[/name] and [name]Ivan[/name] was an honor to DH brother.
[name]Autumn[/name] was another game completely. (I was stuck on [name]Starr[/name] for a while and no one but I liked it.) I do not remember where I heard [name]Autumn[/name] but I loved it. I worried though she might not as with my grandmothers, so I put [name]Elizabeth[/name] in for the middle because it had so many nn’s if [name]Autumn[/name] didn’t like being [name]Autumn[/name] she was free to pick. She likes [name]Autumn[/name]! 
She was nn anum in pre-school cause kids had trouble pronouncing the name and went by Auddie briefly but now is just [name]Autumn[/name]
My process is kinda long and detailed. I am kinda OCD about names. I grew up with a name I hated due to its connection to my abusive father and the amount of teasing I got from it. I just went to court and had my name changed after 3 years of prayers and discussions with my husband.
I started with what a name needed to be:
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Classic, something that is not common exactly, something that isn’t in the top 10
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Something more fun for a middle name–no one really uses their middle names and 98% of everyone you’ll ever meet will never know the middle name–so I feel comfortable to going out of the norm here.
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Names that in someway reflected either family’s heritage.
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If only one of us liked the name, then its vetoed, no fights–both Mum, and Papa needed to love the name.
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not anything totally off the wall, bat cr*p crazy with misspellings, made up, or brought up any negative images to us (ie Ex’s)
All that really narrowed down the choices. I also [name]LOVE[/name] this quiz–usually these things are way off but this seems to eerily accurate.
http://www.namenerds.com/uucn/namequiz.html
DH also has 2 girls from his first marriage–they live in [name]Canada[/name] and their mom is super shady so they will never live with us, nor will I likely ever meet them unless as adults (currently battling [name]Canada[/name] over this since she basically kidnapped them–served divorce papers while DH was deployed and took off to [name]Canada[/name]). I LOVED [name]Elisabeth[/name] and [name]Isobel[/name] (nn [name]Belle[/name] or [name]Elle[/name]) but my step daughters are [name]Mya[/name] [name]Elizabeth[/name] and [name]Ellie[/name] [name]Grace[/name] and I didn’t feel that using those names was right.
We are also looking to move from the USA to either [name]England[/name] or Germany so I also wanted names that would work in any of the countries. Our family heritage is [name]German[/name], French, English, and Irish…
[name]Eva[/name] is known in most countries, slightly different pronunciation but its not something crazy that will make her stick out like some crazy American if we move overseas. DH vetoed [name]Pearl[/name] (too old lady-ish) I came across [name]Margaret[/name] and liked it, but fell in love with [name]Marguerite[/name] (french) and those names mean [name]Pearl[/name]–that was a good compromise…she is my little [name]Pearl[/name]. We chose Eh-fa to reflect the strong [name]German[/name] heritage on DH’s side (I have just a little).
I already have 2 more names pick for our next baby (TTC). [name]Anna[/name] ([name]Ah[/name]-na) [name]Rosalie[/name]–again, [name]Anna[/name] is workable in different countries and [name]Rosalie[/name] pairs with [name]Marguerite[/name] without being too matchy. and she will be my little [name]Rose[/name]…also a little bit of [name]Doctor[/name] Who influence here 
[name]Henry[/name] [name]Wolfgang[/name] is our other pick–I love [name]Henry[/name] and [name]Wolfgang[/name] is to honor DH’s grandfather…nn [name]Wolf[/name].
- Compromise with your partner is (sometimes unfortunately) required.
- [name]Don[/name]'t share your name ideas too much with others…all that negative input really doesn’t matter, because everyone’s going to have a different opinion…and in the end, you just have to go with your own choice…they’ll all come to accept it whatever it is…and if you’ve given it careful thought, it’s not going to be a name your child will get teased for or everyone will hate.
- Look to family names for the middle name.
- Find a name, word, or sound that’s meaningful to you.
- Try creativity on and take it for a spin…at least try it on…don’t just automatically go for the name du jour. (But don’t go too weird with spellings.)
- I wouldn’t wait until after the birth unless you have some really good final options readily at hand. I honestly don’t know how people put themselves under that kind of pressure to go into the birth without a name…because then your time is just about up!
- Never just settle, and don’t let one partner decide on the name unilaterally…never make those bargains where he names one child and you name the other.
- Take some time to sit or lie in quiet reflection, when you’re not searching through lists of names…and don’t force it…just let it come to you…just let those names, words, and sounds that have long had meaning to you float into your mind…
- In the end, it should feel completely “inevitable.” There are a million great names out there that you might love…but there will be one that, ultimately, feels not only right, but meant to be…like it was always waiting in the wings, even before you realized it (kind of like your wedding dress).
- Compromise with your partner is (sometimes unfortunately) required.
- [name]Don[/name]'t share your name ideas too much with others…all that negative input really doesn’t matter, because everyone’s going to have a different opinion…and in the end, you just have to go with your own choice…they’ll all come to accept it whatever it is…and if you’ve given it careful thought, it’s not going to be a name your child will get teased for or everyone will hate.
- Look to family names for the middle name.
- Find a name, word, or sound that’s meaningful to you.
- Try creativity on and take it for a spin…at least try it on…don’t just automatically go for the name du jour. (But don’t go too weird with spellings.)
- I wouldn’t wait until after the birth unless you have some really good final options readily at hand. I honestly don’t know how people put themselves under that kind of pressure to go into the birth without a name…because then your time is just about up!
- Never just settle, and don’t let one partner decide on the name unilaterally…don’t make those bargains where he names one child and you name the other.
- Take some time to sit or lie in quiet reflection, when you’re not searching through lists of names…and don’t force it…just let it come to you…just let those names, words, and sounds that have long had meaning to you float into your mind…
- In the end, it should feel completely “inevitable.” There are a million great names out there that you might love…but there will be one that, ultimately, feels not only right, but meant to be…like it was always waiting in the wings, even before you realized it (kind of like your wedding dress).
This is our process for choosing–it worked great for us last time, and we’re planning to use it again for our twins. Maybe you wouldn’t use this same process, but for me thinking of a structure for deciding really helped me feel less overwhelmed!
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Once we find out the sex of the baby(ies), DH and I each come up with a list of about twenty names. We try to be really open-minded at this stage, and we do it completely separately.
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We compare the lists and anything on both our lists stays. Of the remaining ones, we decide together on a “top twenty.” [name]One[/name] hard and fast rule is that each person’s top three definitely stay.
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We set a timeline for narrowing down our list to fifteen, ten, six, four, etc. [name]Say[/name], “By 30 weeks we’ll have it narrowed down to ten names,” something like that. At each stage, neither partner can take a name off the list unless it is replaced by a mutually agreed-upon name.
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Once we’re down to ten names, we make a “name board.” This is a foam posterboard, which we decorate, and put all the potential first and middle names on cards with velcro so that they are easily mixed and matched. The name board is prominently displayed in the house so that we can kind of get used to seeing the names and they start to feel really familiar. (A white board or chalk board would probably be more practical for this, but we use poster board.)
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By the time we’re ready to go to the hospital, we’re down to two top names. We go to the hospital with both names and see whether the baby seems more like one or the other. We usually have some preconceived idea about what would influence us, for example, “If she has dark hair, we’ll go with [name]Lena[/name], if she’s fair-skinned and blonde, we think [name]Flora[/name] is more appropriate.”
Hopefully this is a helpful example of a narrowing-down process!