How to get husband on board?

Name Advice
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This is not an emergent issue as we are not planning on another baby for a few years, but I feel like I have the perfect girl name picked out and my hubby is not on board at all!! We have a [name_f]Margaret[/name_f] [name_f]Lynn[/name_f] who goes by [name_f]Maggie[/name_f]. When I was pregnant with her, I suggested the name [name_f]Margaret[/name_f] at one point and my husband said he didn’t like it, but then when she was born he was like, “How about Margaret?” Like he had thought of it, smh. I think he just doesn’t have a very wide range of names he has been exposed to and likes, and until he saw our baby he couldn’t conceptualize naming a person yet.

He likes names such as [name_f]Olivia[/name_f], [name_f]Sophia[/name_f], [name_f]Hailey[/name_f], and Isabella–popular and feminine. I like names that are traditionally female names, but have strong sounds. If we have another girl, I want her to have a name that is equally as strong and classic as [name_f]Margaret[/name_f]. I would LOVE to use [name_f]Katherine[/name_f] with the nickname [name_m]Kit[/name_m] or [name_f]Kitty[/name_f]! I think it would go so so well with our baby girl’s name and nn now. It is also a family name that would honor my grandma.

I’ve brought it up a few times, and my hubby says he doesn’t like it at all. I think to him it sounds old and boring. But I love love love the retro nicknames for it! For a middle name to go with it I am thinking of some family names: [name_f]Judith[/name_f], La Vee, Sandra/Alessandra/Sandy, or [name_f]Silva[/name_f]. I also think the middle name [name_f]Alouette[/name_f] is gorgeous.

For now I am just tucking it away in my brain and saving it for when the time comes. I am hoping that if we have another baby girl in the future when she is born my husband will be able to “see the name” on the baby and like it then. In the meantime, does anyone have advice of how to come to an agreement on names? [name_m]Boy[/name_m] names we are in total agreement and have similar style, but girl names are tough for us. Also, does anyone have any other traditional girl name suggestions that aren’t in the top 50? [name_m]Or[/name_m] alternatives to [name_f]Katherine[/name_f]? One other name I’m really loving is [name_f]Eleanora[/name_f] with the nickname [name_f]Nora[/name_f] or [name_f]Nell[/name_f].

Thanks for humoring me!!

2 Likes
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Maybe [name_f]Catalina[/name_f] would be more his style? You could still use the nn [name_m]Kit[/name_m] and [name_f]Kitty[/name_f] for it.

[name_f]Eleanora[/name_f] is so pretty and I love [name_f]Nell[/name_f]!

[name_f]Alouette[/name_f] is adorable as a middle name.

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I love [name_f]Katherine[/name_f] nn [name_f]Kitty[/name_f] or even just [name_m]Kit[/name_m] (maybe [name_m]Kit[/name_m] is the sell m? I know my DH would go for [name_m]Kit[/name_m] over [name_f]Kitty[/name_f] but then - bam - start using Kitty).

Other names I like of that style (which I’d say is both regal and good-boomer lol)):

Leonore/Lenore/Leonora nn [name_f]Leni[/name_f], [name_f]Nora[/name_f]
[name_f]Francine[/name_f] / [name_f]Frances[/name_f] nn Francy, [name_f]Franny[/name_f]
[name_f]Josephine[/name_f] nn [name_f]Posey[/name_f], [name_f]Josie[/name_f], Sephie
[name_f]Elsbeth[/name_f]
[name_f]Adelaide[/name_f]
[name_f]Cecilia[/name_f]
[name_f]Tabitha[/name_f]
[name_f]Diana[/name_f]
[name_f]Cynthia[/name_f]
[name_f]Annette[/name_f]
[name_f]Elaine[/name_f]

I also like [name_f]Judith[/name_f] as a first if there an option - she’s about to come back in a bit way so you’d be ahead on that one!

4

[name_f]My[/name_f] husband is similar, he vetoed all names at first that weren’t girls names he was already familiar with, which meant the only names he suggested were name that we grew up with that were very dated, like [name_f]Jessica[/name_f], [name_f]Ashley[/name_f], [name_f]Brittany[/name_f] etc. For me the thing that e worked the best was just repeated exposure. I would talk about my favorites, I wouldn’t ask his opinion or input, but I world point them out if I saw them or just talk about how much I love them until he was comfortable heading the name

1 Like
5

I’m of the opinion that, ideally, a child’s name should be one that both parents like, so hopefully you both can find some common ground! One solution could be to use [name_f]Katherine[/name_f] as a middle name and try to find something you both like as the first. For instance, if he likes [name_f]Olivia[/name_f], maybe [name_f]Olive[/name_f] could work?

[name_f]Rosemary[/name_f]
Caroline(a)
[name_f]Lydia[/name_f]
[name_f]Leona[/name_f]
[name_f]Lilah[/name_f]

6

[name_f]Susan[/name_f] was the first name to come to mind - not “frilly” but clearly a female name (although it may be too dated for your tastes).

7

I would also throw [name_f]Charlotte[/name_f] out there as a possible compromise! [name_f]Maggie[/name_f] and [name_f]Lottie[/name_f] would be just darling together!

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Honestly I think it can be so tricky coming to compromise with a partner over anything let alone something so huge as names!

I love your daughter’s name and I think [name_f]Katherine[/name_f] would work wonders. Especially with the nickname Kit/Kitty. Maybe follow similar suit off just dropping subtle hints about [name_f]Katherine[/name_f], then it’ll synch into his mind just like Margar3t and you’ll have a similar outcome. However if that doesn’t work maybe try and find a selection of names to give him which you can both love!

You’ve had lots of lovely suggestions so count any repeats as me being in agreement with the berries

[name_f]Leonora[/name_f] ~ [name_f]Leni[/name_f], [name_f]Nora[/name_f]
[name_f]Frances[/name_f] ~ [name_f]Franny[/name_f], [name_f]Frankie[/name_f]
[name_f]Rosemary[/name_f] ~ [name_f]Rosie[/name_f], [name_f]Romy[/name_f]
[name_f]Charlotte[/name_f] ~ [name_m]Charlie[/name_m], [name_f]Lottie[/name_f]
[name_f]Helena[/name_f] ~ [name_f]Lena[/name_f]
[name_f]Marianne[/name_f] ~ [name_f]Annie[/name_f]
[name_f]Florence[/name_f] ~ [name_f]Flossie[/name_f], [name_m]Ren[/name_m]
[name_f]Theodora[/name_f] ~ [name_m]Teddy[/name_m], [name_f]Dora[/name_f], [name_f]Thea[/name_f]
[name_f]Dorothy[/name_f] ~ [name_f]Dotty[/name_f]
[name_f]Annalise[/name_f] ~ [name_f]Annie[/name_f]
[name_f]Elizabeth[/name_f] ~ [name_f]Libby[/name_f], [name_f]Betty[/name_f], [name_f]Bessie[/name_f]
[name_f]Rosalind[/name_f] ~ [name_f]Rosie[/name_f], [name_f]Indie[/name_f]
[name_f]Caroline[/name_f] ~ [name_f]Carrie[/name_f], [name_f]Caro[/name_f]
[name_f]Tabitha[/name_f] ~ [name_f]Tabby[/name_f]

[name_f]Hope[/name_f] this helps

9

Based on this, I think it might be worth just dropping in names you like into conversation, or just putting them out there to him, so like with [name_f]Margaret[/name_f], he gets adjusted and used to them - and might be able to ‘see’ of them on a baby when a baby is here. Like, gentle name exposure? Hopefully there would be at least one he likes when it comes down to it.

Some more name ideas for you:

[name_f]Susannah[/name_f] (Susie, [name_f]Sanna[/name_f], Sunny)

[name_f]Cassandra[/name_f] (Cassie, [name_m]Sandy[/name_m], Andra)

[name_f]Helena[/name_f] / [name_f]Helen[/name_f] (Nell, [name_f]Nellie[/name_f], [name_f]Lena[/name_f], Leni)

[name_f]Tabitha[/name_f] (Tabby, Tabby-Cat (could become Kitty-Cat), [name_f]Bitsy[/name_f], Bibi)

[name_f]Juliet[/name_f] (Lettie, [name_f]Jetta[/name_f], [name_f]Julie[/name_f], Ettie)

[name_f]Georgina[/name_f] (Gigi, [name_f]Ginny[/name_f], Georgie)

[name_f]Frances[/name_f] (Frankie, [name_f]Essie[/name_f], Fran)

[name_f]Olive[/name_f] (Liv, Livvie)

[name_f]Caroline[/name_f] (Callie)

[name_f]Esther[/name_f] (Essie, [name_f]Tess[/name_f], Etta)

[name_f]Genevieve[/name_f] (Eve, [name_f]Evie[/name_f], Neve)

[name_f]Cecilia[/name_f] (Cece, Celie)

[name_f]Daphne[/name_f] (Dani, [name_f]Dee[/name_f], Deedee)

[name_f]Rachel[/name_f] (Rae, Chelle)

[name_f]Henrietta[/name_f] (Hettie, [name_f]Etta[/name_f], [name_f]Ree[/name_f], Hennie)

[name_f]Adelaide[/name_f] (Ada, [name_f]Della[/name_f], Lady)

10

If it’s any help to you - there were names on my list that my husband vehemently vetoed when I was expecting our #1 and #2 kids (very close together). By the time our twins came along 4.5 years later, he seemed to have forgotten his original objections, and one of twins has a name he had said no to at the beginning. So there is hope!

I wonder if [name_f]Katerina[/name_f] could be an option for you? It’s obviously close to [name_f]Katherine[/name_f], but has that extra feminine spark that your husband might like (along the lines of [name_f]Olivia[/name_f] and Sophia). And of course [name_m]Kit[/name_m] or [name_f]Kitty[/name_f] could still work as a nickname.

I also wonder if he might be more open to [name_f]Katherine[/name_f] if the nns of [name_f]Kate[/name_f] or [name_f]Katie[/name_f] were possibilities - they feel like they could be more like his style.

I also hesitate to mention it, because I’m pretty sure it’ll have no appeal to you at all, but how about [name_f]Caitlin[/name_f]? I think there’s something very charming about [name_f]Caitlin[/name_f] (with this spelling) and, while it’s a totally different style to [name_f]Margaret[/name_f], it would presumably still honour your grandma and you could still use [name_m]Kit[/name_m] or [name_f]Kitty[/name_f] as a nickname. I would be so delighted to meet a [name_m]Kit[/name_m] or [name_f]Kitty[/name_f] and find out her full name was [name_f]Caitlin[/name_f]!

Otherwise, here’s some names that could work with both your style and his:

[name_f]Eve[/name_f] or [name_f]Eva[/name_f]
[name_f]Vivian[/name_f]
[name_f]Beatrice[/name_f]
[name_f]Victoria[/name_f]
[name_f]Sylvia[/name_f]
[name_f]Alice[/name_f]
[name_f]Julia[/name_f]
[name_f]Therese[/name_f] or [name_f]Theresa[/name_f]
[name_f]Georgia[/name_f]
[name_f]Louise[/name_f] or [name_f]Louisa[/name_f]
[name_f]Harriet[/name_f]
[name_f]Philippa[/name_f]
[name_f]Gwendolyn[/name_f]

11

As I was reading your post [name_f]Esther[/name_f] kept coming to mind. It seems to check off a lot of your boxes.

I’ve found with hubby starting a long list early and then revisiting every couple months has been what’s worked for us (like we don’t have to have the. And picked out in the first or even second trimester).

By the time I got pregnant with my 4th the list had been revised and updated endlessly so I remember it was more I came up with two combos for girls and surprisingly hubby liked them so it was just those two combos we looked at all the way up until my due date. Boys were harder. We had three already and by that time like I said we had exhausted our list and what was genuinely left in my view was a name he wasn’t fond of. But then when baby was born he felt that name was our baby. And now a year later we joke about the name was his idea the whole time.

12

[name_m]Just[/name_m] want to throw [name_f]Judith[/name_f] nn [name_f]Juno[/name_f] / [name_m]Jet[/name_m] into the mix

13

Oohh I love [name_f]Katherine[/name_f] nn [name_m]Kit[/name_m] and [name_f]Eleanor[/name_f] nn [name_f]Nell[/name_f] for you, but if dh isn’t sold, maybe he would like [name_f]Katerina[/name_f] ? another name that gives me the same vibes is [name_f]Dorothy[/name_f] nn [name_f]Dot[/name_f] , one of my favorite retro nicknames :black_heart:

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[name_f]Kathleen[/name_f] or [name_f]Cathleen[/name_f]

1 Like
15

The two ways I know to come to an agreement are searching until you find a name you both like or making a deal where both of you get something of equal value to you. For instance, one person gets a name from their culture but the other person gets to choose what name that is.

The way we did things, my husband and I only put names on our list that we both liked or were at least open to. When we wanted to narrow things down further, we individually ranked the names on our list as 1, 2 or 3 for most preferred to least preferred. Names that received a 1 from both of us were our front runners. This process ultimately worked for us even though there was very little we could agree on in the first place.

Some traditional names I haven’t seen mentioned yet:

[name_f]Annabel[/name_f]
[name_f]Audrey[/name_f]
[name_f]Bridget[/name_f]
[name_f]Claudia[/name_f]
[name_f]Fiona[/name_f]
[name_f]Gemma[/name_f]
[name_f]Joanna[/name_f]
[name_f]Jocelyn[/name_f]
[name_f]Lillian[/name_f]
[name_f]Lucinda[/name_f]
[name_f]Petra[/name_f]
[name_f]Rebecca[/name_f]
[name_f]Ruth[/name_f]
[name_f]Simone[/name_f]
[name_f]Valerie[/name_f]
[name_f]Veronica[/name_f]
[name_f]Willa[/name_f]

16

I know [name_f]Katerina[/name_f] was suggested, but what about [name_f]Katrina[/name_f] or [name_f]Katya[/name_f]? Other nicknames that you might suggest to help him feel like he has options (and to make it feel wearable):

[name_f]Kat[/name_f]
Kit-Kat
Khaki

When my husband was having a hard time envisioning one of my favorite names on a baby, I found a baby announcement with that name (look on Google images, maybe?), and that really helped him.

17

[name_f]Eleanora[/name_f] n [name_f]Nell[/name_f] and [name_f]Katherine[/name_f] nn [name_m]Kit[/name_m] is absolutely gorgeous!!

18

I just have to say I think this is a great suggestion! A solid classic that’s also very popular, so should hopefully appeal to you both :slight_smile: