I am a long time name nerd and Nameberry user but am just now getting to a place in my life where soon we’ll be trying to start a family and naming a real life, actual human being is in the picture. I have always been one to be against “popular” names, but my tastes also lean towards classic/timeless choices.
I used to always think that I would NEVER give my child a top 100 name, but now that it comes down to it, a lot of my top choices are, well, popular. [name_f]My[/name_f] name was #14 in my birth year and I was always one of multiple in my class, which I didn’t like. [name_f]My[/name_f] current top two choices for boys are [name_m]Henry[/name_m] (#8) and [name_m]Miles[/name_m] (#43 - but jumps to #17 when combined with [name_m]Myles[/name_m] in the playground analysis). Both classic, timeless names. I know popular names are given to fewer and fewer babies each year. [name_m]Henry[/name_m] was given to 0.59% in 2023, which is the same as the #33 ranking boy’s name in my birth year (I didn’t even know anyone by that name growing up). [name_m]Henry[/name_m] is also my grandfather’s name which gives it significance.
So what would you do? Get over the desire to give a child a name below the top 100 (how?) or look for other names lower in the charts?
There’s two paths to take. You can give the honor names as middles and choose less common names that pair well for the first or just look up demographics in your area (state if you’re in the US) and see how popular that particular name is there and then think about whether the name or your child having a more unique moniker is more important.
You could also use a portion of a name as an honor in the first name instead of the full one like [name_m]Henry[/name_m] >> to [name_f]Henley[/name_f] or something.
I would personally use the middle spot for an honor name so I could use something unique for the first name. Especially if you grew up resenting not having a more individualistic name - your child may feel the same one day.
I think the most important thing in naming a real-life, actual child is CHOOSE THE NAME YOU LOVE. You’ll never regret using the name if it’s the one you truly love. You may regret choosing something you liked less just because it was less popular. You may find out that, locally, your less-popular-name-you-settled-for is the one you run into at the playground all the time.
I’ve been a mom for 8 years. We have lots of kids around. But let me just give you a brief breakdown of how often we run into the top names in the U.S. (and by “run into”, I mean local kids in our neighborhood/classrooms, not kids of people I went to high school with that live in a different state and that I only know about through social media):
I mean, these aren’t appalling numbers. By contrast, we regularly run into three Ivans, two Everlys, two Freyas, several Ellies and Evies. We know two Atticuses and two Junipers. I had a [name_m]Rory[/name_m] when it was #386 on the popularity list. We’ve still met two other boys named [name_m]Rory[/name_m] in “the wild”. [name_f]My[/name_f] other two kids’ names are both higher on the charts, but we haven’t run into others.
[name_f]My[/name_f] point is, you just don’t know what you’ll get into, and even if it IS a “popular” name and you DO run into several, that’s not a bad thing. It means it’s well-loved. That’s a positive.
In summary – if [name_m]Henry[/name_m] and [name_m]Miles[/name_m] are your favorites (and, swoon, they are WONDERFUL), use them! I would be shocked if you regretted it later. I think you’ll love them even more when your kid is attached to them.
Gosh I feel popularity is so overthought that I really wouldn’t worry about it. Honestly parents really strive for individualism there’s this huge focus on your child being the only one named x therefore names are just rarer. Yes of course you will come across a [name_m]Noah[/name_m] or a [name_f]Lily[/name_f] but not in an overwhelming amount like twenty years ago when you would have 5 Victoria’s in one class. The likelihood is your Henry/Miles will be the only one in his class but not in his school. He will probably enjoy sharing his name with a school friend. [name_f]My[/name_f] daughter is [name_f]Lilia[/name_f] whenever we come across another [name_f]Lilia[/name_f] we both love it. Almost like sharing a name is this really cool magical connection especially as nowadays with everyone striving for their child being unique with their unique name. If you love [name_m]Henry[/name_m] & [name_m]Miles[/name_m] stick with them they are lovely!
The thing is, you sound confident in the ones you love so I don’t think you should let them go because of popularity.
As you say, popular names are less popular now - and, well, you could name them something further down the charts and still end up with multiple children with the name in their class (I’ve had multiple H0neys, more than one C@rys, two girls called S@skia, 4 called [name_f]Abisha[/name_f] (or Abbisha or Abeesha) in one year group)
I’d say, keep [name_m]Miles[/name_m] and [name_m]Henry[/name_m] on your list. Check out other options, but if it is them you come back to, I’d stick with those
It depends on a few factors.
First, is there anything else you like? Is there another name that is meaningful to you that is lower down in the charts? [name_m]Or[/name_m] are [name_m]Henry[/name_m] and [name_m]Miles[/name_m] far above everything else?
Second, do you have a partner here? Are [name_m]Henry[/name_m] and [name_m]Miles[/name_m] the only two names you guys have been able to agree on? [name_m]Or[/name_m] could there be more?
You’ll have to decide if it’s worth it not to use your top two choices.
For what it’s worth, the suggested uncommon alternatives to [name_m]Henry[/name_m] and [name_m]Miles[/name_m] are [name_m]Harvey[/name_m] (#327) and [name_m]Wells[/name_m] (#445) - what do you think of those names? - (source: Transforming Top to Uncommon Boy Names | Nameberry)
It’s so tricky because I really think you should choose the name that you love and makes you happy, but, sometimes popularity does make you love it less and make you a little less happy to say it, because you feel like you’ve heard it too many times or possibly will. so it’s a tough question to answer! But in the end, yeah I think you should just try to get over it if you love the name. unless uniqueness is more important than choosing a name you love, which does seem a little silly.
I named my first daughter [name_f]Eleanor[/name_f], and I still love her name even though it’s become very popular. She had another [name_f]Eleanor[/name_f] (different spelling) in her class in kindergarten, but not one since then. There are 2 other Eleanors in different grades at her school.
So even though on paper it looks like a popular name, it may not actually be your experience. I’m so glad I didn’t decide not to use the name I loved (and had loved for as long as I could remember) because of its popularity.
I think you also have to consider the last name, too. Our last name is very unusual, so even with a common first name, my daughter’s name is distinctive.
If you have a very common last name, it could be worth reconsidering a popular first name - or, on the other hand, it could be a blessing in today’s world to be able to maintain some anonymity with a common first-last combination.
I agree with @somemelodioussonnet in the long run its much more important to choose a name you will love, than choose a less popular name that you dont love as much.
Even with less popular names you never know just how things my turn out. My daughters name is well outside of the top 1000…and we’ve already met 2 (one of which had her exact same 1st and middle!) And her nickname is below the top 500 and we’ve met 5 little girls who share that name. Where as my other daughters nickname is slightly more popular and we’ve yet to meet any others with her name. And yet I dont regret either of their names, because I truly love them and it fits them to a T.
So in real life popularity is hard to predict. But if you choose a name you genuinely love you wont be disappointed.
Ugh I feel this so much! [name_f]My[/name_f] long time boy name has always been [name_m]Theodore[/name_m] with the nickname [name_m]Theo[/name_m]. Seeing it in the top 10 the last few years has been crushing
For me I’m still no where close to having kids of my own yet. So do I think I’ll use [name_m]Theodore[/name_m]? I’m honestly not sure
At the end of the day you should go with what you love. I think in the moment you’ll maybe feel more certainty than you do trying to think of your options right now (that’s what I’m even hoping for myself)
Something I did was just looking for other rarer boys names that I may love as much or more, I’ve found a couple but time will tell with what I end up using
I completely understand what people mean when they encourage someone to go with the name they love, despite its popularity, and I think that advice works great for some people and for some names. sometimes, there really isn’t another name that compares. whether there’s a name that sounds similar, has the same meaning, the same vibe/aesthetic, or whatever, it’s still possible that it won’t feel right because it isn’t the name.
personally, I grew up with a popular name and I hated it. I hated meeting other people with my name. it didn’t feel like a cool connection, it felt like an awkward competition. I don’t feel like I can be friends with other people who share my name—it would just feel awkward to try. I also felt like I saw my name everywhere because it’s my name and im looking for it. I can only think of 1 name that comes close to the number of girls with my name that ive met (and it’s over a dozen for both). the most popular spelling of my name ranked #18 the year I was born.
it’s important to me that the name I choose for my kids has a low likelihood of being one they’ll have to share with people. I hear from people with partners that when it comes to naming together, choosing a name you love is more important than popularity. well, for me, popularity is a factor that will take a name from “love” to “like”. I appreciate names less when they get too popular. they don’t sparkle in the same way.
I feel like if you’re asking this question, it may be that your love of [name_m]Henry[/name_m] and [name_m]Miles[/name_m] transcends their popularity. if you still love them just as much, that’s a sign that popularity probably shouldn’t concern you.
something to consider is whether or not there are already multiple little Henry’s or [name_m]Miles[/name_m] in your environment. If not, then 100% go for it! If yes, it could be something you take in consideration. At the end of the day all that matters is you pick the name that you love and that feels right for your baby!
I’d like to piggyback on a topic mentioned here, just because I have a differing perspective.
I’m an [name_f]Ashley[/name_f], born in '86. #2 most popular name that year. Sounds awful, right? And I grew up in [name_m]Texas[/name_m], in a pocket where [name_f]Ashley[/name_f] was a particularly trending name. I mean, they were everywhere. So I was often [name_f]Ashley[/name_f] W., till junior high–when in one classroom, there were three [name_f]Ashley[/name_f] W.s, and they sat us all in a row. So then they basically just called me by my last name. It was yuck.
[name_f]Do[/name_f] I love my name? No. Is the popularity the REASON I don’t love it? Also no. I don’t love it because it doesn’t feel like “me”. It doesn’t feel like a great deal of consideration went into it. [name_f]My[/name_f] mom picked it because she loved the sound. She thought it sounded “classic” and distinctive. What was it really? It was a trend. She loved that it was a “cool” name she didn’t grow up hearing. A reason a lot of people try not to pick a “popular” name today–they want something “different” and are frustrated when that “different” name appeals to other parents looking for that particular virtue.
So I go back to what our original poster here was mentioning about how her favorite names are timeless, and they ARE, and I think that’s something to really give a great deal of weight in this argument. “Popular” names that are timeless and oft-used because they’re loved should be given regard. They are a different breed from “popular” flash-in-the-pan, time-stamped, trendy names that will forever evoke this era, and this era alone. I always wished I’d been an [name_f]Annie[/name_f], a [name_f]Mary[/name_f], an [name_f]Elizabeth[/name_f], a [name_f]Hannah[/name_f], a [name_f]Sarah[/name_f], even a Jenny… Names that stood the test of time and didn’t scream 80s. I think [name_m]Henry[/name_m] & [name_m]Miles[/name_m] could be of any era, and that’s a gift.
I appreciate this take too. I would say my name is timeless though. interestingly, i also disliked this aspect of my name, even before the popularity bothered me. I thought it was old fashioned and therefore boring. but that has nothing to do with the original question.
I also didn’t like learning about historical people with my name because it felt prescriptive.
personally, I don’t like any “timeless” names, at least none that are considered timeless because they’ve been well-used for a long time. and this is because popularity dulls any shine that many names have/may have had for me.
I still believe that if popularity doesn’t dull the shine of a name for someone, then they should use the name!
(I’ve had multiple H0neys, more than one C@rys, two girls called S@skia, 4 called [name_f]Abisha[/name_f] (or Abbisha or Abeesha) in one year group)