[name_m]Hi[/name_m] everyone!
Sorry if this is the wrong forum but I was just wondering if anyone else has struggled with having a strong aversion/dislike towards their own name?
What have you done to get over it or have you sort of just accepted you don’t like it?
Thanks for any responses 
Thanks for the reply jonquils 
That’s similar to how I feel - my name just feels so bland and unspecial!
At the same time, I’m not sure I’d change it though - I don’t think I’m bold or interesting enough to do that, even if I wanted to. I guess it might just be about accepting it for what it is
[name_f]Lillian[/name_f] [name_u]Hero[/name_u] is an amazing combo btw!
I hate my name. My nickname ([name_f]Izzie[/name_f]/Iz) isn’t that bad, hense why I go by it but I can’t stand my full name.
My name is [name_f]Isobelle[/name_f] [name_f]May[/name_f]. Now, I’m totally fine with [name_f]May[/name_f] (it’s after my grandma and it’s now my beautiful niece’s middle name) but I hate [name_f]Isobelle[/name_f].
[name_m]Reason[/name_m] one:
I hate how it’s spelt (I would much prefer [name_f]Isobel[/name_f]) as nobody could ever spell it right. My mum chose that spelling because she preferred the O to the A and she wanted [name_f]Belle[/name_f] at the end.
[name_m]Reason[/name_m] Two:
It’s just so popular. I have grown up with at least 2 other [name_f]Isabelle[/name_f]/[name_f]Isabel[/name_f]/[name_f]Isobel[/name_f]/[name_f]Isabella[/name_f]’s in each class and I hated it. I was always [name_f]Izzie[/name_f] C, which I didn’t like.
It’s really just a personal thing, I don’t hate it enough to change it.
I always used to hate my name… It didn’t feel like it was “me”.
I always went by nickname [name_u]Syd[/name_u] instead, which I felt was my real name since it suited me so well.
I also can’t even pronounce my full name very well… It’s not an uncommon name but for some reason I always slur it… (it’s [name_u]Sydney[/name_u])… and people always think I’m saying [name_f]Cindy[/name_f] or [name_f]Denise[/name_f] (I get that a lot over the phone).
Now that I’m out of school and in the professional world, a lot of people call me by my full name and it bugged me a lot at first!
But I’ve eventually grown into it and accepted it… I still would never change it, because although my parents also “just liked” the name and it has no actual significance to them, it’s still the name that they gave me. And I believe names are your first gift from your parents whether you like it or not lol!
So embrace it baby!
I never got over it … so at 28 I made the decision to change it legally. It was liberating. When I was younger, I never thought of myself as the kind of person who would change their name, but something changed in my late twenties. I kept my middle name, which was my grandmother’s name. I also kept my nickname, which really helped with the transition for my long-time friends and family.
Sorry my response is not much help. [name_f]Do[/name_f] you have a nickname you like? For a long time, I found my name tolerable because I mostly went by my nickname, which I really like.
@drechen I’m so glad it was liberating to you! Thank you for sharing
In regards to nicknames, I don’t really have one. My name doesn’t really lend to nn -and I’m not a fan of [name_f]Gracie[/name_f] or [name_u]Gray[/name_u] unfortunately
@Oh.archikins thanks for sharing I totally get the popularity thing, though reading your comment has reminded me that I’m lucky to have a name that most people can spell
@futari thank you! I’ll probably just settle into my name eventually, as you say - it’s encouraging to hear that you have
Thansk for all your responses
If you ever did want to go by a nickname … [name_f]Grace[/name_f] nn [name_f]Gigi[/name_f] is pretty cool!
@dechen thank you I kinda like [name_f]Gigi[/name_f] - I’ll have a think about it
I hated my name.
Not only is it popular with varied spellings make it more popular but it feels so dated to the late 80s & 90s.
In grade 1 there were 3 of us - 2 [name_f]Caitlin[/name_f] & 1 [name_f]Kaitlyn[/name_f] - 2 of us had the same last initial and that’s when the hate or at least severe disliking of my name started. I have only [name_m]JUST[/name_m] recently been coming to terms with my name but I still prefer just [name_f]Cait[/name_f] (hate the -lin still as that’s what makes me feel very 90s, [name_f]Cait[/name_f] could be a classic). I like that it is Irish and I am part Irish and the meaning is not too bad.
ETA - I do like that my grandmother saved me from being a [name_f]Jacinta[/name_f]…I don’t think I could pull that name off.
I love [name_f]Grace[/name_f]! It more stems from when I was in my primary school band (Que the This one time a band camp… joke) and just starting out the saxophone and there was an older girl called [name_f]Grace[/name_f] and she was amazing. At least in my lil novice eyes. She was also the only [name_f]Grace[/name_f] I have ever met, everyone else had it in the middle name spot. I love the diverse imagery the name has, the timeless appeal and the short ‘n’ sweetness. I would actually trade names with you XD if you want to be C@itlin J@de…
I’ve always hated my name. It just isn’t ‘me’. I changed it in 1981. In fact, today is the anniversary of the day I made the change.
I despise my name and I always have. Growing up I was always in a class with at least one other [name_f]Jessica[/name_f]. [name_f]Jessica[/name_f] to me is one of the most awful names because it was the most popular name for 10 years straight throughout the 80s and 90s. I really resent my parents for giving me such a common, boring name. I don’t plan to have children but if I ever did I would look at a list of the most popular names for the last 5 years and be sure I don’t name them ANYTHING on those lists.
But I decided that I’m finally going to go through with something I’ve been thinking about for years. I’m going to change my name legally. That’s how I plan to get over it. I actually made this account to figure out what to change it to.
I am a [name_f]Feather[/name_f]. I hated it! I went to school with seas of [name_f]Jessica[/name_f]'s and [name_f]Caitlin[/name_f]'s. I so much wanted to fit in, and being autistic I really struggled, and sometimes felt a “normal name” would make me more normal. I considered legally changing it, but never knew to what!
Naming my own child was very healing for me. As I scoured list after list I realized I have a style. It’s not the same as my parents but eccentric in its own way. I don’t suddenly love my name, but I love the hours of thought and debates that went into it. I couldn’t I’m changing it now.
That said, if it is taking over your life, and causing you pain (for some people it does) I recommend changing it
I dislike my name. [name_m]Even[/name_m] as an older woman I am considering changing it. I wish I had done it years ago. Friends and family can continue to call me by my name, but in new situations including in study, research and writing I can go by my new name. I’m just trying to decide whether I just ‘use’ a different name or whether I officially change it. I’ve discovered over time that plenty of people don’t actually use their birth or official name in everyday life. I like my middle name and considered just using that but it really doesn’t sound great with my surname.
@araminty thanks for sharing - That might actually be a way to go - keeping the old one for friends and family and using a new one in other situations. I hope you find the right name for yourself
@lightasafeather funny isn’t it, how we want the opposite to what we have. My brother has a really unusual middle and hates it, but I’d love a more unusual name. I’m glad you found the naming process healing - that’s really interesting to hear.
Thank you for sharing and for the advice
@liminal thanks for sharing! Good luck with your name change! I hope you find one
@cailinrua happy new name anniversary!!
@lysia I love the Irish feel of [name_f]Cait[/name_f]! Interestingly, growing up I didn’t know too many Graces, but recently, working with kids, I’ve met so many!
Thanks for sharing your love of [name_f]Grace[/name_f] though - it does make me feel a little better about it.
I don’t know quite what I’m going to do about it. As a combo, I don’t mind my first and middle together, I think it’s just [name_f]Grace[/name_f] on its own that bothers me. Maybe I’ll try a few things out, but I expect I’ll end up just sticking with [name_f]Grace[/name_f]… not sure I could pull off anything else, even if I want to. Maybe [name_f]Grace[/name_f] is just the right name, even if I wish it wasn’t - weird, right?
Thanks everyone for your replies
I’m in a similar boat. I find my name so blah, yet I would feel totally bizarre asking people to call me something different.
I suppose right now I’m trying to focus on what I [name_f]DO[/name_f] like about it.
i’m considering options like putting a preferred name in front of my birth name so my birth name is still fully there (because as I said, I would expect people who have always known me by that to continue using it) but my new name is in front for other situations.
Or changing my birth name to a variation I prefer eg [name_f]Karen[/name_f] to [name_f]Karina[/name_f] or [name_f]Christine[/name_f] to [name_f]Christina[/name_f]. Then it’s not odd if other people are still calling me a variation of the name. Not an easy option for you if [name_f]Grace[/name_f] is the name though. I’m even considering doing both eg changing [name_f]Karen[/name_f] to [name_f]Karina[/name_f], retaining it as first name, then adding something I really like eg [name_f]Elizabeth[/name_f] as a middle, then I have both options there to choose at a later date (or just feel good privately even if I never use [name_f]Elizabeth[/name_f] but knowing it’s there.)
@justthinkin thank you! Yeah, I think focusing on the benefits of my name is important
@araminty that’s a great idea - keeping your whole name or at least part of it and adding something you love! I really like the idea of adding something
Well, I’ve always hated my very popular name, and names have always been very important to me, and I care so little about my legal name that I’ll answer to literally anything… As time goes on I’ve gotten more and more frustrated about having to identify myself to others (irl, anyway) with a name that I don’t identify with at all. Some people who don’t like their names would have an identity crisis trying to change theirs but I continue to experience one through keeping mine. So I’ve chosen a completely different name for myself; I just haven’t gathered together the whatever within myself necessary to pursue legally changing it and finally getting that over with. It is heartening though for me to read that a few people in this thread have successfully changed their names.
@stellarevolution thank you for sharing and good luck with your name change! It is really encouraging to hear other people’s stories on this thread
I was in a different situation. My name was uncommon and kids in elementary school made fun of me because of this. I whisked for a more common name so many times back there. However, I stopped filling that way at the end of high school. I started to appreciate my name. I also love the meaning of it and the reason why my parents choose it in the end. I guess the way we feel about our name can change sometimes.