How to get the hubby involved in naming...

[name]Hi[/name] berries! I’ve loved names for as long as I can remember, I am always making lists and making mental notes of names I hear while out and about. My husband does not share this same passion. He will answer yes or no to my endless “[name]Do[/name] you like ____?” questions. I was just wondering how you got your significant others to discuss names. Did they refuse until you were expecting? Did they like to talk about names?

[name]One[/name] thing I convinced him to do was to take a name quiz that I made. It was just multiple choice grouped by the starting letter - I did one for boys and girls. He didn’t seem excited about it but he did it!

I’m in the exact same position as you are. My DH refuses to talk about names until we start having kids (we’ve been married for 2.5 years, but kids are still probably 2-3 years away). [name]Every[/name] once in a while he’ll get into it, but only for a few minutes and then he’ll clam up for months. He reasons that we’ll just change our minds anyway, but I think he just doesn’t find it fun in the same way that I do. In fact, I think he finds the idea of naming another human quite stressful. As sad as I am that he rarely humors me and my name obsession, I do hold out hope that he’ll be an eager participant when the time comes to actually give our children names.

Good luck!

I think most guys aren’t really interested unless there is an actual fetus in the picture.
I ask my DH about names and he mostly laughs it off or says he likes names of various baseball players–I know he’s kidding.
My advice would be to not burn him out too early on something he’s not super interested in, or it may be hard to get him to give real options and opinions when it’s actually down to the wire and a kid needs a name!

I agree with kala_way that pushing too hard now might burn him out. For many people (and maybe men in particular) picking out names for a child that doesn’t exist yet seems impractical. It’s fun to daydream, and makes sense once you’re at least ttc, but putting too much pressure on choosing a name ahead of time could be more stressful than enjoyable for someone who’s not as into names. I think it’s fine to ask him if he likes a certain name if you come across one you’d likely consider, but keep in mind that if there’s a lot of time between now and baby, his opinions might change, as might yours. I think if you’re getting yes or no answers, you’re already ahead of the game–I’ve seen many posts lamenting a husband who hates everything they suggest.

I am like you but my husband was NOT interested until we were pregnant, and even then I wanted to start talking about it way before he did. I tried not to push the matter too frequently, but still remind him there was a sort of deadline. He is a numbers guy so I pulled him in by showing him babynamewizard and letting him scour the popularity statistics and analyze their graphing techniques (hey he had to come up with names to search for right?) On the nights where he agreed to work on the pressing matter, we would sit down at the same time and work on our secret individual lists or talk about a few choices. It was not something he was going to do ‘on his own time’ if you know what I mean.

Honestly, I rarely (maybe 3 times a year) brought it up before we were having kids. I just had learned to accept that names are one of my interests he doesn’t care about- sort of how I am with his comic books. Until he had actual reason to think about names he was just not interested at all. Now after we’ve named our boys he is only mildly more interested than he was before. He at least tolerates me mentioning names my friends chosen for their kids and acknowledges my comments with cogent responses.

I don’t think there are a lot of dudes interested in names before there is an actual baby to name. My boyfriend is quite interested in names, but I don’t think he knew about my extreme love for names before I got pregnant. When there is a pregnancy/adoption happening: Go to the bookshop or amazon or whatever, buy a baby name book and a marker and give it to him. You can’t expect the guy to do that himself, it’s just not going to happen. Give him a letter to start with and ask him to read through that chapter (“E” for example) and highlight the ones he like. If he’s up to it, give him another marker for the “over my dead body” names. That is just as helpful. That will give you an idea of the names he likes, and then you can start suggesting. Asking an average man which names he likes is not a good idea, he’ll just list the pretty girls from his school days. Good luck!

Thanks for the feedback, it’s good to know most husbands are like mine in the naming aspect. I definitely don’t push him, I know better than that! I can’t complain too much, he has said yes to my top names for both a boy and a girl. :slight_smile:

I’ve gotten my husband into it to some degree.

I don’t ask him what he likes from my list really but when I read thru the forums I’ll ask his advice for other’s questions like “if someone likes [name]Samuel[/name] what girl names do you think they will like?”

He gets into it!

My husband would rarely indulge me in names-talk before a pregnancy. [name]Even[/name] in early pregnancy, most of the time, he’d suggest actual names, straight from our huge baby names book, that he knew I would hate ("[name]Cash[/name] Money" and “Assadassa”). No offense if anyone’s child is named [name]Cash[/name] (or [name]Cash[/name] Money! or Assadassa!) but it’s definitely not our style.

@lainy, I happened to make a poll for my husband, too! It magically showed up in his inbox one day. :slight_smile: He took it, but still really isn’t into the whole naming process yet.

To add to my comment he likes talking names but talking about names for our own future children kind of freaks him out unless we are actively trying to get pregnant. So maybe try to get him into trend forecasting & problem solving & if he is creative & in business maybe he eill get interested like my husband

Brackets!

Seriously, guys love brackets. I got DH to make a list of names he liked, combined them with my list, organized them kind of randomly into tournament brackets and we both filled them out separately, then looked at them side by side and discussed the names that made it a long way on both of our charts. Sounds a little ridiculous, but got him more into it than “nagging” about what names he liked or what he thought of my favorites.

What an awesome idea! Thanks!