How to not share the name?

That’s really awful - I hope that gets settled soon! I wish you could hide your online status like you could with other things like AIM. Oh how useful that would be.

Oh ok. That changes things. I hope you can get proof soon.

You can… Or at least you could in the past I haven’t used Facebook chat since it came out.

Fake name choices sound best for people who are really persistent. You can always say, “Oh we changed our mind once we saw the baby.” Should do the trick.

I’ll have to play around with it then - it could be pretty useful lol.

I definitely think you should lie, say you’ve chosen [name]Madison[/name] and [name]Jayden[/name] or something similar, no doubt they’ll gush over those types of names! Then you won’t have to deal with any negative comments. When baby is born, say he/she didn’t look like a [name]Madison[/name]/[name]Jayden[/name] and that you changed your mind :slight_smile:

[name]Angel[/name], CPS is entirely separate from the police. If you have suspicions of neglect absolutely give them a call and give them as many details as you can. They are obligated to investigate.

While I applaud your motives, it seems unlikely that anyone, no matter how deranged, would admit to abusing their child in a Facebook feed. She does sound like she has some interesting a possibly complex mental health issues of her own (a personality disorder, erotomania, obsessive traits) but there is no need to be a martyr. If she makes you uncomfortable, think how much worse it will be when little [name]Damien[/name] or [name]Persephone[/name] IS here and you have substantially less time to spend with her (and possibly don’t want her around your baby).

I’d lie. [name]Just[/name] say a random name because eventually everyone could change their mind.

About the girl, just keep a distance. Insane people are dangerous.

I would probably lie in your case, too. A lot of people like talking names, though most don’t like it to the extent that we do. It’s fun. I (and most of my friends and family) enjoy talking names when someone is expecting. Come up with some names you like, but probably won’t use for any future children so you don’t have to worry about people stealing them. To protect your grandpa from finding out the gender on accident, tell people you will not be telling them the gender, and you’re coming up with boys and girls names. Once baby is born, well, people change their minds all the time. [name]One[/name] of my friends recently did that. We had about 100 names picked out for her, and then once she saw the baby, she picked a name that as far as I know, had never even been talked about! Maybe she did like you and had the name picked out all along, and didn’t want anyone to bug her about it or steal it.

My sister told everyone that they hadn’t agreed yet and they were keeping their short list to themselves but they were open to suggestion. I like the idea of taking names you love but wouldn’t use for your own child and feeding her (& everyone else) some of those. Maybe [name]Jasyn[/name]'s brother or sister will be better named because of it! That has to be really hard, though. I know how small towns can be. If you are planning on keeping the gender a secret, too, you can just tell everyone that you have an uncooperative baby. It still happens from time to time. You can tell some people “I really feel like it’s a boy/girl” if you want them to have a hint. Stay strong and keep those names secret! You’ll be happy you did. Good luck!

Good advice, if it is serious enough…

I think I’ll start telling everyone I like those common names I generally hate. I did say to [name]Penny[/name] the other day that “Oh well I do like [name]Penelope[/name]” so maybe I’ll just start telling everyone that. And we do have an uncooperative baby!

And thanks [name]Blade[/name]. I’ll look into that. It is very serious. He’s 3 and has only barely been walking or eating on his own. By her own admittance (and this she will say on facebook) she puts him in his crib all day so she can work on her RPG sites. And she will also admit on facebook that she thinks all children are stupid and incapable of learning until 5 so she has no intentions of teaching him anything – ABC, numbers, potty training, anything – until then. And you’d be surprised what she’ll put on there. She has over 2oo pictures of him on her facebook and almost all of them are him in a diaper with nothing else on. She posts new ones constantly so I’ve been keeping an eye on that. What she has is munchausen syndrome and now with her son, munchausen by proxy as well as some mental things I can’t diagnose. I’ll definitely look into those people you suggested.

But anyway, I appreciate all the advice! I’ll just tell people we haven’t decided until that doesn’t work any more then I’ll tell them some random popular name they all like. My mom does know the names, and she’s the only one, and she loves them! So I’m good there at least :slight_smile:

Maybe tell people that you have a few names in mind but you want to meet the baby first to see which name suits her/him.

Or that you don’t want to tell anyone a name yet, in case you change your mind when you see the baby.

(Has happened to a couple I know. Everyone had accepted that the boy would be named [name]William[/name] - some had even bought them baby stuff with that name on. But then the new parents decided he looked more like a [name]Lucas[/name].)

I’d go with this. I don’t think I’m superstitious but setting a name before the child is born kind of bothers me. I guess I feel that I need to see and hold them first to know what name is right.

You could say “My grandpa feels really strong about this and we thinking it’s a good idea. So, we won’t pick a name until we meet him or her.”

I either say:

  1. Yes but we’re not sharing until baby’s born - we want to make sure he or she looks like the name first.

  2. No idea yet.

[name]Don[/name]'t feel pressured, I find people accept the first answer particularly well and haven’t had anyone hassle me to tell them the name. If they do, tell them to stop. Be assertive!

Lie! We plan on finding out the sex, but won’t tell anyone except immediate family. If anyone asks if we know what we’re having, we’ll just lie and say no! We’re also not sharing names with ANYONE till after baby is born. My [name]SIL[/name] just had a baby and I didn’t even ask her her name choices. I think it’s rude.

Most of that is pretty bad. Kids being in diapers in the house is FAR from abusive, though - kids don’t like clothes, it bugs me when people think that kids not being clothed all the time is abusive, it’s simply not. You couldn’t keep clothes on me until I was like 10. I would come home from school and literally just strip down to my underwear unless someone was coming over. I agree with reporting her for abuse but at least report her for things that are actually abusive.

Ziazan has always been a fun Z name that I would never ever use but kind of wish I could. Or Zephne. (Like [name]Daphne[/name], but with a Ze). Ziazan means rainbow. It’s even a bit out there for characters, and this is coming from a girl who named her first character [name]Aloysia[/name]. She had a twin named [name]Zebulon[/name]- you could always use that, too!