My husband and I are going to start trying for our third baby sometime in the next few months and I’m looking forward to being pregnant, but my husband and I are at odds whenever it comes to names.
Here’s our convoluted process: I make a list of my favorite names, he says he hates all of them. I make a secondary list, names that I don’t love but don’t mind. Husband says he doesn’t love anything on there either. I ask him to make his own list which never ends up happening. I make a third HUGE list with every name I simply don’t hate, he ends up picking a name that I’m totally not loving, but I put up with it since he refuses to make a list on his own. After a week or two of trying to accept the one he agreed to, I realize I can’t accept it and it’s back to the drawing board, the process starting all over again. We are both to blame but I don’t know how to bridge the communication gap between us. Help!
Have you tried flat out telling him how frustrating you think it is that he won’t put any effort into this?
Also, you said you were only trying for a third, and not actually pregnant, if I understood correctly? He might think it’s too soon to get serious about a baby that may or may not be. If you want to go through names and make up a list of the ones you love, then that’s fine, but also respect that that’s not something he wants to do right now. You might find a name later on in pregnancy that you hadn’t considered or known about right now. You might even choose one you’ve never loved in the delivery room because it just seems to fit the baby so well. Not to paint with broad strokes, but I’ve seen a lot of instances around this forum and in real life where the guy doesn’t want to think about any of the technicalities that come with a new baby until way late in the pregnancy. It doesn’t make them bad dads or any less involved with the pregnancy. Names are important, because we all need one, but maybe they’re just not his top priority right now for your future little one.
Overall, honesty is the best policy, so if you think it’s worth it, just be frank about how you feel when he won’t talk names with you. Otherwise, maybe just take a step back for now and play around with names on your own time, and then once things get more serious, ask him again what he thinks about your names.
If you plan on finding out the gender I’d save the serious name discussion for when you know what you are having. I’ve noticed that it helps my husband be willing to discuss names if we know what we are having.