I’m not really sure where this should go, so I’m plopping it in here.
I met with my [name_m]SIL[/name_m] a few days ago. We ended up talking about life and kids (you know, the usual topics that follow women freshly married!). She mentioned that if she were to have a daughter, she’d want to name her [name_f]Liliana[/name_f]. I’ve always liked [name_f]Liliana[/name_f]. It’s by far my favorite of the [name_f]Lily[/name_f]-names, but I always dismissed it as too frilly to actually use. But now? I CAN’T STOP THINKING ABOUT IT. I think I’m falling for it and I don’t want to. Urgghh. It’s okay, I’m sure my current infatuation will pass. It’s not a big deal anyway because we’re both kinda far from kids.
Anyway, I’m posting not just to vent my frustration (with myself, hahaha), but to pose an issue that doesn’t get talked about very often. We see boards of people lamenting that someone else “stole” “their” name, as if it was an item that belonged to them alone. We always commiserate with them but in the end tell that person that it’s all free game on who has a baby first. Welll… have you ever “stole” a name? What happened? Discuss!
Just to clarify, I have no plans of using Liliana/“stealing” it from her! It was just an interesting feeling, to be on the opposite side of the coin.
A name can not be stolen. If a family member or friend wanted to use my son’s name they have all the right to do so. Actually I personally would not mind.
[name_f]Liliana[/name_f] is a beautiful name. Have you considered [name_f]Lilia[/name_f]? I also love [name_f]Lilla[/name_f] (lil-ah), [name_f]Lily[/name_f], and [name_f]Lilian[/name_f]/[name_f]Lillian[/name_f]. I love lily names. lol I have [name_f]Lilia[/name_f] [name_f]Rose[/name_f] in my top three, I would call her the full name quite often.
I think it depends on who the person is and what the name is… I have names on my list that are uncommonly used - my favorite girls name, Endora, was used less than 5 times in the US last year. I’d be rather upset if I mentioned it to someone as my favorite name and they decided to use it without talking to me first. I’d be thrilled that some little girl was named Endora - my FH doesn’t like it much at the moment. But, it would be very unlikely that they came across the name on their own as it doesn’t show up on many name lists and only a true name nerd would probably ever even consider it. If I told someone I loved the name [name_f]Olivia[/name_f] I wouldn’t be upset if they used it without consulting me - after all the name is EVERYWHERE right now, and it would be easy for them to forget I said that.
I don’t know if that makes sense but it really comes down to the popularity of a name. There is also the degree of separation - a sister or [name_m]SIL[/name_m] “stealing” a name could be much more of a sore point than even a good friend.
I didn’t actually steal a name, but my [name_m]SIL[/name_m] planted the name in my head. We were both pregnant together and discussing baby names, and she mentioned the name [name_m]Jack[/name_m]. It was not something I really considered before, but she tested it out using her maiden name by accident (which is my last name now) And I fell in love with the sound.
I felt terrible because I loved the sound of the name. Thankfully my husband didn’t like [name_m]Jack[/name_m].
And neither of us had ended up with boys named [name_m]Jack[/name_m]- she had a [name_u]Logan[/name_u] and I had a [name_m]Maddox[/name_m].
I think I am more concerned for names that I love being used when I am not pregnant. I feel like it is one thing to dibs a name when you are having a baby, but to ‘claim’ one while you are not expecting and someone else is, isn’t really fair. So I’m really hoping none of my close friends or family end up having a little [name_f]Rosalie[/name_f] before I start ttc again.
For me, it sort of depends on the popularity of a name. If a friend used [name_f]Natalie[/name_f]/[name_f]Natalia[/name_f] or [name_f]Sophie[/name_f]/[name_f]Sophia[/name_f] I wouldn’t be that upset. It’s so popular that I couldn’t expect them to have never heard or considered it before. If they used [name_f]Audra[/name_f] or [name_f]Colette[/name_f] though, I’d be pretty upset. It’s very hard for me to find girls name that I would actually consider for a future daughter, so to take one I love and they know I love…ouch. I’m hoping that my friends have a different naming style/taste compared to mine. One of my best friends knows that if she has a daughter she will name her [name_u]Evelyn[/name_u]. I think it’s a gorgeous name, but I’ve associated the name with my best friend for so long that it’s no longer an option for me.
I don’t have children of my own but between my friends and I we have a number 1 name that we have dibs on in our friendship group and so we kind of now what’s off limits and to be honest we’re pretty fair if we know someone likes a certain name. An old friend of ours has found out she’s pregnant and I’m terrified she’s going to choose a name that I love…