I am wondering if anyone else has/had the same issue as me.
I find that I have an inordinately difficult time picturing myself with a daughter. I can see why I might feel that way, as I’ve never gotten on with my own mother, and she didn’t with her mother before her, etc. We just don’t seem to breed good mom-daughter relationships in this family for some reason.
This transfers over to the naming department. Because I have trouble envisioning my little girl, I am clueless as to how to approach naming! I feel like I appreciate a lot of girl names, but none of them feel “right.”
Has anyone else had this problem (even if it’s with the opposite gender), and what did you do/what do you plan to do to solve it?
I am in the exact same situation with the opposite gender. I have always pictured a little girl, and it probably comes down to the relationship my mom and I have. And names? I swear I have looked at every boy name and been indifferent to all of them. And ones I used to like have lost their luster. On the other hand, I could name ten girls with no problem.
My husband pictures a girl too, and so we joke that I am probably pregnant with twin boys. As for what to do about it, I am going to let nature take its course. Maybe if I find out the baby’s a boy, and I bond more with the idea, then I will change my mind completely and naming will come easier. I hope so anyway!
Same problem. I cannot for the life of me picture myself having a little girl. [name_f]Every[/name_f] time I try to imagine myself with a little girl it just feels wrong to me, whereas I can picture myself with little boys just fine. I have no idea why that is either, I don’t have a bad mother-daughter relationship, but its hard for me to picture dealing with a little girl. There are tons of little girls in my family and I would love one of my own but part of me just feels I’m not meant for one. That’s why I don’t have any girls names in my sig. [name_f]Every[/name_f] time I think about naming a daughter it feels like a waist of time because I won’t have one anyways.
Right now, I’m not trying to fix it. I have a long ways to go before I even think about having children, but I honestly am not letting myself worry about it. If I don’t have a girl, then I don’t have one, and I have plenty of lovely boy names all saved up for the boys I’ve been imagining for a long time. But when the time comes and I happen to hear girl then that’s just reality and I’ll start collecting names for girls again. I’m more of a wait till the baby is born before you name it type of person anyways so I’m confident that when I see my child for the first time, whether it be a boy or a girl, I’ll have a pretty good idea of what I’d like to name it.
Opposite problem, sort of. I can easily picture myself having all boys and have no idea what to namer them or what top do with them. I’d prefer to be a mum to girls, because i come from a family of all girls. My dad and i get along well and love each other but really have no further relationship than that, where my mom and i are best friends. My sisters and i are all super close, all my closest friends are girls, i only have nieces and no nephews…i am so much more comfortable naming girls, raising girls, etc.
And i can totally picture my life as a mom to girls, but it feels fictional. When i picture myself really raising kids, they’re all boys and i have no idea what to do. I can’t even pick boy names!
It worries me the way i picture it, because all growing up i could only picture my sister as a mom to girls and she’s pregnant with her third girl at the moment. It feels like i have this weirdly accurate predictive ability (that sounds ridiculous i know) and I’m worried I’ll end up with all boys.
It used to be worse, and i actually hated the idea of having boys. But after spending some time with a friend’s son, and getting him all ready for bed and he was so cute and snuggly in his little feety-pajamas…i can see the appeal. But i still would prefer at least an even mixture of boys to girls
I’m pregnant with a girl and have a very similar story, and also the poor relationship with my mother, and she had a poor relationship with her mother. I was relieved when I found out I was pregnant with a son last pregnancy. This time, however, knowing what it is like to have a baby regardless of the gender, I know without a doubt that I will be very happy with my girl. Once you give birth and have some time with the baby, you will realize that the gender doesn’t matter. It just doesn’t. Something very special happens.
Now, is that to say I don’t still have a hard time imagining it? No, it’s really hard to believe. My parenting in general doesn’t compare to that of my mother’s parenting of me, and I have no doubt that this will continue when I have a daughter. [name_f]Do[/name_f] I get warm fuzzies when she is moving? Not always, and in my first pregnancy I felt like I had a strange baby alien fish in my tummy. Nevertheless he came out and I was in love and in absolutely bliss.
Aside from this, I have had very few close female friends, too.
[name_m]How[/name_m] can you know you will the way you are ‘supposed’ to feel? For me, I was always extremely caring and nurturing towards animals, and I always thought kids were adorable but didn’t have nurturing feelings for them. If that is anything like you, I urge you not to worry. The only regret I have this pregnancy is that I already know how amazing it is to fall in love with my baby so it won’t be a surprise this time.
I’m really nervous about the idea of having boys, I have three sisters and the vast majority of my cousins are girls so growing up I never spent a lot of time with boys. I’m a nanny to two boys and their behavior and areas of interest sometimes seem so odd to me. I don’t understand how their little brains work and that unknown freaks me out a bit.
[name_m]Even[/name_m] though I want both a boy and a girl, I have a hard time picturing me with a son. I’ve heard taking care if a boy is easier than taking care of a girl. Can anyone vouch for that? lol
I always pictures myself with a daughter and I still would prefer a daughter, but if I had a son, I know I would still love him. The problem with boys for me is I don’t know what to do with them. I’m all woman, lol! I played barbies, my little pony, [name_u]Sailor[/name_u] [name_f]Moon[/name_f] was my hero… I don’t know anything about [name_m]Thomas[/name_m] the train or Batman and [name_u]Robin[/name_u]. I get along better with my husband’s nieces than I do his nephew. Though it could just be that I think his sister is a bad parent and take it out on the boy. Plus that boy got me sick twice (he has sneezed, rubbed his icky hands on me and coughed on me)! So I avoid him at all costs.
[name_m]Even[/name_m] so, we plan on trying for a girl using the shettles method, Chinese gender chart, and baby girl diet. I want to at least try, (I like to joke that I’ll probably end up with twin boys after all this), because if I don’t try then I would always regret it. If I do try and “fate” just wants us to have a boy, then I’ll know that we’re just destined to have a boy and I’m sure I’ll manage to know everything about [name_f]Star[/name_f] Wars and Superman.
I’m a nanny, and from my experience (generalizing, of course) boys are [name_m]WAY[/name_m] easier than girls.
I only picture myself with boys, but I definitely want daughters if I have kids. I grew up with almost all boys though, so it makes sense.
I have [name_m]JUST[/name_m] found out that I am having a boy, and have always wanted a girl. I am kind of like dammit! but at the same time I am glad I found out so I can get used to it and I find that looking at pics of my hubby as a toddler he was very cute and I am fine with it I actually feel guilty to my little baby inside me for even thinking about it! Its really just the clothes I am going to miss, but I will search high and low for cute boy stuff and it will be fine. Now freaking out about names though as have millions of girl ones but very few boy ones.
My sister and I were raised by my mother. I had no male role models growing up, and I can count the number of male friends I have on one hand (with fingers to spare). I could never imagine having a son. I don’t know if this has been anyone else’s experience, but I actually think that collecting names for my boy’s list made me think about the possibility of boys for the first time. When I found [name_u]Roscoe[/name_u], the image came to my mind of a chubby, mischievous boy with my eyes. It was the first time I’d ever envisioned what my son might be like. The more boy’s names I fell in love with, the easier it became to imagine the boy that might go with them. Name nerdiness: more useful than you’d think!
I am also having issues picturing a little girl. From the moment I first found out I was pregnant, I have thought it was a boy. I have not been able to find a single girl name that I love, but have been going back and forth on boy names for weeks. I will be relieved when we find out the gender so I can focus on either girl or boy names and not stress myself out.
Same here! Occasionally I have dreams where I have children, and the children are always boys. I’ve always envisioned myself with sons, I’ve always preferred baby boy things over baby girl things, and I’ve always had a much easier time with boys’ names than girls’ names. Boys’ names are just so much more interesting to me. I’m one of those dorks who likes to swoon over baby clothes when I go to the store, and lately I’ve been loving more little girl things. So maybe it’s changing, but it’s still quite frustrating. I can’t imagine what my daughters would look like or what their personalities might be like, whereas that sort of thing comes very naturally to me for sons. I don’t know what it is.
Aside from the experiences growing up (I have a brother and probably a pretty even split between girl and boy relatives), this is SO much how I feel. Maybe it’s because of my Facebook friends with kids almost all of them that have more than one have all boys. I don’t know. I have more girl names and only a few boy named that get me excited. But when I picture myself with a girl it seems like pretend, but with a boy I hey the feeling of imagining my future.
I would really like to have a daughter but I don’t know how much is because Western societies tend to prefer baby girls and I’m just responding to that… Hmm
I always saw daughter, but after working somewhat extensively with both genders at my job, I think I’d be okay either way. Try spending time around little girls you know.
I have a hard time picturing myself with a son. I was raised by a single mother and while I had male uncles who were like fathers to me, none of the relationships could compare to the one I had with my mother. That said, I do get along wonderfully with my boyfriend’s son.
Gender really doesn’t matter past cute clothes with babies. So don’t stress now about changing things. [name_m]Just[/name_m] wait and see what happens. I really hoped for a girl first but once we had our son there were no regrets about him being a boy. Now he’s three and obcessed with trains and firefighters. I don’t have long discussions about [name_m]Thomas[/name_m] the Tank engine with him but we still have plenty to talk about since we spend all day together and honestly food is one of his favorite topics. When your child comes along you’ll learn about dealing with them slowly as they grow into a little person not just a newborn.
I have the same problem. I’ve only ever seen myself with sons, so it’s a lot easier to fall in love with boys names. For example, I love the name [name_m]Arthur[/name_m], and I can picture it on a son of mine {at least one that looks like me}. But with girls names, I have absolutely no idea… I just don’t get attached to girls names because I can’t see myself using them.
I guess if I ever get pregnant with a girl, I’ll get over it? Haha, I have no idea.
But people saying they “don’t know how to raise a boy”… I find that a little odd. My brother loved playing dress up with me when we were younger, and I’m pretty sure he wore my fairy costume more than I did. Your sons might hate all the “macho” stuff!
I’m exactly the same way (disclaimer, I am in highschool still). I’m kind of an anti social person and in general I don’t really like girls. Most of them are mean, mean to each other, mean to themselves, just mean. My relationship with my mother and people who have hurt me (all have been girls) probably has to do with this, but I just don’t want to think about ever raising a girl who will be mean or hurt somebodys feelings on purpose or do the kinds of things that have been done to me to other people. I just couldn’t take it. I also don’t know how good of a mother I would be, and maybe it’s just my age, but that really scares me. I can see myself with boys, laughing with boys, playing with boys, raising good boys but whenever I think of girls I can’t imagine it being as good as boys.
Also I’m an only child so I’ve never had the experience of any siblings, I’m the youngest in my family and I have very rare family contact. Half of my family (grandparents + one uncle with no wife or kids) live in Kentucky and the other half (grandparents + young aunt and uncle yet to marry) in Newcastle, England so maybe that’s a part of it. Who knows.
I hope this changes over the years since I would like to experience having a daughter, I just don’t know.
