I’ve told this before but [name]Josephine[/name], a name I literally have loved since before a lot of you were born, or at least long enough before its time, when it would have been too old-fashioned, before that really got trendy.
I usually can get over people and not stick with any bad connections. Maybe because usually a few other people have the same name (or I actually didn’t like the name anyway), but in my age bracket, [name]Josephine[/name] isn’t that common, and I don’t know a lot of children, so there’s really just the one. [name]Josefina[/name]. Real piece of work. I don’t think I could live with [name]Josephine[/name] for a daughter’s name after knowing her -and briefly! she made that bad an impression on me- and think that somehow I still have this cosmic connection to a wretch of a namesake. Like she would run into me again someday and get some satisfaction out of it. It’s crazy, I know. To the best of my knowledge, the feelings I have to her are not mutual, and she probably doesn’t remember me at all.
Irrationally, I feel that using the name [name]Josephine[/name] after her would be just like saying a big “I love you, I want to honor you, I cherished meeting you” to [name]Josefina[/name] rather than forget her. That if I ever saw her again, she would think it was so sweet to name my daughter after her… she was so phony. It’s all wrecked because she’s so awful and then so phony. Although the likelihood of seeing her again or having to work with her is small, and if I have a personal conflict with someone else whom I’m unlikely to see again, at least they would not be so phony that their name is still ok by me.
It’s hard to imagine, but I think if I had gotten to use the name first, I would not have the same feelings and dread. It’s like she “stole” my name by having it, and then ruined it for me, where my child would still be younger than her, would predate my meeting her, and thus still be “my idea.” I would also still consider [name]Joseph[/name], although I might hesitate somewhat. I do have Josephs in my family past generations, and fond memories of my “best friend,” next-door neighbor [name]Joey[/name]. At least I have other options for boys or girls I like better, but I feel angry that [name]Josephine[/name] is now in the trash. It’s a great name. If I’m put off this far and with such grrrr! feelings, imagine how awful I’d feel to go ahead and use it anyway - because it’s all crazy not to use it, I could be convinced, but I can’t let it go.