I need help!

So, I have a daughter who was born in [name_f]May[/name_f], and is now 11 months old. Her name is [name_f]Lauren[/name_f], a name I went with because her father liked it (we are not together) and at the time I was very depressed and felt like I couldn’t come up with anything better, and after months and months of trying to repress the feeling, I’ve admitted to myself, him, and most of my family that it doesn’t feel right at all, even after having months to adjust to it. It’s not that I don’t like the name, I like the crisp, simple sound of [name_f]Lauren[/name_f] and the meaning (bay laurel, which is associated with victory). It’s just that a) I feel like I’ve known or heard of so many [name_m]Laurens[/name_m] growing up that the name never felt like it was entirely hers (we also have a very common last name), and b) there just doesn’t seem like there’s any way I can think of it that makes me feel like it fits my style. Stylistically, I’m very inspired by gothic and alternative fashion (although I don’t usually have the self-confidence to wear it) and I love anything with a fantasy or historical feel. Having a daughter named [name_f]Lauren[/name_f] just feels… really wrong. Not that I’m against the simplicity of it- I like that, it’s been so heavily used for the last three decades (it was #14 the year I was born) that it feels overly expected and not very fresh. And it’s not that I have bad associations with the name [name_f]Lauren[/name_f], I imagine the name belonging to a friendly, attractive, intelligent person. But I also can only imagine her coming from a very conventional family. I can’t imagine her coming from mine. I tried to tell myself for a long time that [name_f]Lauren[/name_f] was associated with victory and strength, because of the bay laurel connection, but even then I knew I was kidding myself. Telling yourself that people associate [name_f]Lauren[/name_f] with victory is like telling yourself that people associate [name_f]Jessica[/name_f] with Shakespear. [name_m]Even[/name_m] early on I would catch myself thinking things like “it’s not that I don’t like her name, I just really wish that I could call her and introduce her as something entirely different.” It’s an awful way to feel, because she’s the most important person in my life and I want to give her a name that fits how I feel about her. I also do not think that she associates it with herself, I call her a hundred different nicknames at least as frequently as I use her real one. So essentially, I want some suggestions on names that might be a better fit for her. Her middle name is also [name_f]Evangeline[/name_f], which is my grandmother’s name so I can’t change it, so it will need to be something that goes well with that. There are so many factors that you have to weigh in with names- it seems like there’s something wrong with every name. Many names that I like are already taken. I like [name_f]Alice[/name_f], [name_f]Elora[/name_f], and [name_f]Clara[/name_f] but already know babies close to her age with those names. I also like the names [name_f]Athena[/name_f], [name_f]Luna[/name_f], and [name_f]Freya[/name_f], but I know three different cats with those names ([name_f]Luna[/name_f] being mine). I love [name_f]Sophie[/name_f] and [name_f]Sophia[/name_f] but they’ve become so popular in my daughter’s generation that it would feel more like giving her a number than a name. Here is a list of names that I’m considering, as well as what I like and don’t like about them. Hopefully some of you can give me some input or offer some suggestions. I’m looking mainly for names that aren’t too out there, but have a bit more intrigue than [name_f]Lauren[/name_f], and preferably on the simpler side to go with [name_f]Evangeline[/name_f], but if you think of something that sounds like it might fit don’t hesitate to share regardless. Thank you in advance!

[name_f]Amaya[/name_f]: Means night rain in Japanese. I think that this is a very pleasant and calming image. However, I’ve also heard that it isn’t an actual name in Japanese and doesn’t actually mean night rain either, which is the main reason that I liked it.

[name_f]Aurora[/name_f]: Means dawn, and is associated with the [name_m]Roman[/name_m] goddess of the sunrise, which would work ell for her since she was born in the morning (9:27 so not technically dawn though). I’m not sure if [name_f]Aurora[/name_f] [name_f]Evangeline[/name_f] would sound a bit too frilly though.

[name_f]Esme[/name_f]: Means emerald, which is her birthstone, and also means esteemed or beloved, which also fits her very well. [name_f]Esme[/name_f] [name_f]Evangeline[/name_f] sounds good to me, but her initials would be EEW, and I don’t know if that would be associated with a grossed-out sound like ew.

[name_f]Iris[/name_f]: This is my sister’s middle name, who’s always been close to her but is moving away for college soon. I think it works well with her middle name. It means rainbow, which I think is appropriate for her since it signifies a reward after a period of hardship, which definitely fits how I feel about her and some of the circumstances of her birth. I’m not sure if it would be weird for her name to mean rainbow though, since I’m not the most colorful person aesthetically (I wear a lot of black and grey), but I do love color in nature.

[name_f]Laurel[/name_f]: This would be the easiest transition for everyone since it’s one letter off from [name_f]Lauren[/name_f], but doesn’t sound as generic or overused. I’m really trying to come around to it, but every time I say it out loud I just feel like there are a lot of L sounds in it, especially since L and R are pronounced as the same letter in many languages, or at least similarly. I think that I may like the stronger sound of the N in [name_f]Lauren[/name_f] more, but it also may be because I’m still more used to saying it.

[name_f]Victoria[/name_f]: Means victory, same as [name_f]Lauren[/name_f] and [name_f]Laurel[/name_f]. I like that it’s very classic and has an aristocratic allure without being over the top. However, it is very popular (#20) and has been for a few generations. I also feel like [name_f]Victoria[/name_f] [name_f]Evangeline[/name_f] might be a bit long.

Based on how you described your options, I have a feeling [name_f]Iris[/name_f] [name_f]Evangeline[/name_f] is your best choice. It’s frightfully gorgeous too, without being too frilly. Good luck!

I second [name_f]Iris[/name_f] [name_f]Evangeline[/name_f], mainly for the connection you’d have to it. I also like [name_f]Esme[/name_f] [name_f]Evangeline[/name_f], although it seems to be a bit much. I’d ignore the initial EEW. I’d like to suggest: [name_u]Eden[/name_u], [name_f]Aura[/name_f], [name_f]Lucia[/name_f], [name_f]Amara[/name_f], or just [name_f]Maya[/name_f].

[name_f]Iris[/name_f] is lovely, goes well with [name_f]Evangeline[/name_f] (which is also a great name!) and obviously has a lot of meaning for you. And as it’s your sister’s middle name so it won’t get confusing. I wouldn’t think too much about how you wear dark clothes, her doesn’t have to reflect everything about you (though I understand wanting her name to fit with your general alternative nature), her name can show how much she means to you - she is your rainbow and colour, so you don’t have to wear it!

I would keep the Lor sound

[name_f]Lordes[/name_f]
[name_f]Lorraine[/name_f]
[name_f]Loretta[/name_f]
[name_f]Lorelei[/name_f]

[name_f]Lowri[/name_f]

I am going to be completely frank with you: your daughter is almost a year old, and by now she knows her name. Changing it would be confusing and potentially even upsetting. I believe that parents have the right to name their children when they are born…but almost a year later? The fact that your daughter’s name doesn’t jive with your style has nothing to do with your daughter herself – she’s a unique, independent person, and will certainly have her own style (one that will doubtless be different from your own). It seems as though at least some of your motivation has to do with the circumstances of her naming: you were depressed and felt pressured by her father. But, again, that has nothing to do with your daughter herself – she is, again, a unique, independent person. If you have another child, I urge you to name that child whatever you like. But your daughter has a name, and it’s [name_f]Lauren[/name_f].

If you do choose to change her name (and I urge you in the strongest possible terms not to do so), please change it to something similar. [name_f]Laurel[/name_f] would be a great option. Or change her middle name – heck, give her five middle names! But please do what’s best for your daughter.

Another vote for [name_f]Iris[/name_f] [name_f]Evangeline[/name_f]. :slight_smile:

Have you considered [name_u]Wren[/name_u]? It’s sometimes used as a nickname for [name_f]Lauren[/name_f], but it’s got spunk and it’s much less popular. It would also nicely balance out a longer middle name like [name_f]Evangeline[/name_f]. I think it could work well for you. :slight_smile:

I love this idea. I agree with a pp that it is pretty late in the game to change a child’s name. I was going to suggest coming up with a nickname that you feel more attached to and can fall in love with. [name_u]Wren[/name_u] (or [name_u]Ren[/name_u]) [name_f]Evangeline[/name_f] is gorgeous, and doesn’t require all the logistics of changing her name legally and getting everyone else on board with calling her something completely different. Lo is also a cute nn for [name_f]Lauren[/name_f], tho not as substantial as [name_u]Wren[/name_u]. And her initials provide the built in nickname [name_f]Ellie[/name_f].

[name_f]Lauren[/name_f] [name_f]Evangeline[/name_f] is lovely and timeless. Who’s to say she won’t love her name? I hope you can come to peace with it!

My first ideas where [name_f]Lorelei[/name_f] and [name_u]Wren[/name_u], they are more spunky and original than [name_f]Lauren[/name_f], but keep some of the same sounds. This wouldn’t be to much of a stretch for people to change to. Is the father on board with changing her name?

I think the previous poster’s idea of keeping the name [name_f]Lauren[/name_f], but simply calling her [name_u]Wren[/name_u]/[name_u]Ren[/name_u] or another more unique nickname would be great. That way when she gets older she can choose if she likes her name or not. You could also call her by her middle name or a nickname of it if you prefer that.

Nickname ideas:
[name_u]Wren[/name_u]/[name_u]Ren[/name_u]
Lo
[name_f]Lola[/name_f]
[name_f]Evie[/name_f]
[name_f]Eve[/name_f]
[name_f]Eva[/name_f]
[name_u]Evan[/name_u]
[name_u]Angel[/name_u]
Ang
[name_u]Angie[/name_u]
[name_f]Lina[/name_f]
[name_m]Lenny[/name_m]

I disagree with previous posters that say it’s wrong to rename her. I think as her mother, especially since she’s still so young, you have every right to do so. Especially if the name [name_f]Lauren[/name_f] reminds you of a man you’d rather try to forget. It sounds like you didn’t have a lot of agency over naming her the first time (which can be a symptom of domestic abuse or simply a lack of respect on his end), and I think if YOU think it’s right, if it will help you heal, you should rename her. [name_m]Even[/name_m] if it wasn’t that serious, I still think you not feeling right about the name is a valid feeling to have, and you shouldn’t feel bad about trying to find something that suits your family better.

That being said, I think all of your options here are lovely! Maybe try out each one for a few days and see what sticks best, or even what she responds to the best. Good luck!

Before you get attached to a name, is your baby’s dad willing to let you change her name? You’ll most likely need his permission to do so.

I like [name_f]Aurora[/name_f] the best from your choices.

Based on your own descriptions and opinions, you seem most fond of [name_f]Iris[/name_f], which I think is spunkier and flows most smoothly with [name_f]Evangeline[/name_f] (which is stunning btw!) I don’t think your specific color style has to match your child’s name. As long as you love it, it doesn’t particularly matter if you wear something to reflect it. Your daughter will grow into whatever name you give her, so just choose what you think is right. I think she’s young enough to change her name and that’s definitely something you should do if you feel it’s for the best.