I really dislike my son's name

My dh named our son [name]Ryan[/name]. We had great names picked. But then my dh named him [name]Ryan[/name]. I gave in because I was very sick after the birth. Later, he said I could change it if I really wanted, but, I just felt insecure and such. It was hard. The names we had picked before [name]Finnegan[/name], [name]Finley[/name], [name]Rowan[/name], [name]Liam[/name], [name]Luka[/name], and [name]Noah[/name]. Instead, he ended up plain ole [name]Ryan[/name]. (and our older son is named [name]Riley[/name], so that sees too cutesy having a [name]Riley[/name] and [name]Ryan[/name] as brothers).

My sister keeps telling me to just call the baby by a name I like, as if it were a nickname. If it really sticks, I can always change it later. But I know my dh loves the name [name]Ryan[/name] and has told me I can have carte blanche on the next baby name in exchange. What do you think?

What is [name]Ryan[/name]'s middle name? If you like it better than [name]Ryan[/name], you could begin calling him by that now, and soon everyone will probably do the same!
A similar situation happened with my mother’s first name when my grandmother had her–my grandfather wanted her named ‘[name]Margaret[/name]’ after my grandmother (who went by HER middle name b/c she did not like the name ‘[name]Margaret[/name]’ to begin with!), and so my grandmother always just called my mother by her middle name, ‘[name]Dana[/name]’. The whole family calls her ‘[name]Dana[/name]’ and always has! Everyone knows her as ‘[name]Dana[/name]’, not ‘[name]Margaret[/name]’, so I’ve seen this work out!


[name]How[/name] old is he? [name]Do[/name] you like his middle name?
I have never understood the concept of “I pick this name, you pick the next one” – I feel both parents should love the name. In my opinion, you owe it to your child to feel good about his name…perhaps finding a cute nickname would help. If your husband is willing, you could move [name]Ryan[/name] to the middle spot and start calling him by a name you both agree on, but that really depends how old your son is and how confusing it would be for him, his siblings, and your family.

No way. I think it’s totally unacceptable for you to really dislike your son’s name, especially since your husband picked it without your agreement. I agree that [name]Riley[/name] and [name]Ryan[/name] are kind of cutesy together, and that the other names you had picked out were nicer and more interesting, but the real point is that you should love (or at least like!) your son’s name. It doesn’t make it better if you can pick the next child’s name; that would leave you with that child having a name you love, and [name]Ryan[/name] having a name you really dislike.

I think you need to have a talk with yh and figure out a compromise, then change his name accordingly (as long as he’s still relatively young?) It’s not as uncommon as you might think for parents to change their minds and change a child’s name. Since yh loves [name]Ryan[/name], maybe you could put it in the middle slot. [name]Finley[/name] [name]Ryan[/name] sounds good, but [name]Riley[/name] and [name]Finley[/name] as bad as [name]Riley[/name] and [name]Ryan[/name]. [name]Finn[/name] [name]Ryan[/name]*, [name]Finnegan[/name] [name]Ryan[/name], or [name]Luca[/name]/[name]Luka[/name] [name]Ryan[/name] seem like good options.

I don’t think it’s a great idea for you to call the baby by a name you like while yh will be calling him [name]Ryan[/name]. It will only get harder to change the name as he gets older. I’ll say again that I really think you and yh need to sit down and have a serious talk about this; you calling him by another name seems like avoiding the issue.

Sorry for the long reply; apparently I had a lot of strong feelings about your situation! Best of luck :slight_smile: