I really just don't get the logic...

I don’t understand the logic behind the idea that certain names aren’t as viable on newborns because they’re seen as adult names. I understand that certain names as time goes by are more associated with older people than with youth, just by virtue of being popular at a certain time. But isn’t a name really just a name? Weren’t all the Davids and Jennifers kids once, too? So, too, will all the Aidens and Harpers be adults one day. And it will be in the blink of an eye. Moreover, if we all, in this day and age, are looking for the unique-but-not-weird name in the hopes that our child will stand out rather than be one of a hundred (yet not be outcast), shouldn’t that be from the vantage point of the child’s experience and not the mom’s who was a child 20-30 years ago? [name_m]How[/name_m] many Jennifers will be in a 2020 kindergarten class? My guess is not many, and yet we run from those names like the plague. Shouldn’t the very quality of names like [name_f]Jennifer[/name_f] be what we’re ultimately going for, at this point? Someone please explain it to me in an objective way.

The thing about wanting an objective reason for why parents tend to stay away from “dated” names is that there really isn’t one. You’re right in that if you want to avoid giving your child a name that might be shared with their classmates, you should give them a name that is currently out-of-style, but uniqueness is not the only thing parents want. What a lot of parents really want is a name that is currently in style, yet nobody else they know has (which means the names like [name_f]Jennifer[/name_f] are out because they probably have a dozen friends their own age named [name_f]Jennifer[/name_f]) or have used for their own children. It’s a question of fashion, not logic.

(Personally, though, I prefer classic, timeless names that will likely never go out of style, and popularity doesn’t really matter to me.)

I get the fashion thing. You’re right - it’s not always all about popularity. But I also submit that not everybody has a slew of friends and/or acquaintances their own age whose names are indicative of the era they were born in. I was born in 1988, and I can’t say I’m friends with, or have anyone in my immediate, current world named [name_u]Ashley[/name_u], [name_f]Brittney[/name_f], [name_m]Zachary[/name_m], or [name_m]Joshua[/name_m]. Were my school years peppered with such names? Of course. But they don’t put me off, nor do I fear my child being mixed up with someone in my life, because it’s a non-issue for me. In addition, my name is [name_f]Addie[/name_f] -a name that was absolutely not on trend at the time. I would hazard a guess that I’m not the only one. In any case, I would guess that even others like me, who don’t know a single person with a “dated” name indicative of their era, would still choose to avoid them for their children. Not primarily because there are plenty of people in their lives with these names, but because to them the adults, trendy names from their era are neither here nor there. They are simply “normal.” In that sense, it can be a fashion and popularity issue, because to an adult, such names are not fashionable by virtue of their normalcy. To a child born today, these names would be special and interesting. This, to me, puts them in a perfect “sweet spot.” Viewed as normal, familiar, and unpretentious… but not “common,” predictable, and unimaginative. I don’t know why more parents aren’t considering “dated” names more often. All else aside, there’s an air of dignity to a name that isn’t just viewed as a “baby name.”

I have to agree that it is about fashion - wanting to be ‘on-trend’, but not ‘cookie-cutter’. I very much associate it with the hipster culture of ‘I picked this name for my child BEFORE it was trendy’, while also being upset if the name becomes popular. It’s an interesting paradox from where I sit (as someone without children).

Edit: But back to the main point, I think all good names should be equally wearable at any age – especially adulthood, as this lasts the longest.

Thanks for your replies. It is very much an interesting paradox.

There’s nothing wrong with names that are dated to certain decades, and to some degree, I do agree with what has been said about people wanting to follow what’s trendy, wanting uniqueness while maintaining popularity, and the desire to get to the new great name before it becomes the trend. I mean, just looking for a little while here at the NB forum shows signs of that. However, I think attributing the fall-back from “dated” trend names solely to people wanting to be hip and follow the trends or be ahead of the trends is a bit… dismissive, for lack of a better word.

I’m not a mom; I’m not very interested in becoming a mom, so following and/or getting ahead of the trends doesn’t matter to me. I don’t have a stake in that. [name_m]Even[/name_m] so, I avoid the trendy names I grew up surrounded by, same as so many other people. Why? Over-saturation. What I mean:

There was a period in my life where my family was having an especially difficult time financially (we’d never been well off, but this point was particularly bad), and we just didn’t have much money to spare for groceries. What did we do? We had spaghetti–almost every day for dinner and lunches on the weekends. Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches or toast for breakfast and lunch on the weekdays (we call that the bread diet).

But this isn’t about the bread diet–it’s about the spaghetti. I loved spaghetti, so for a while I really didn’t mind having it almost every night, but this trend continued over weeks and then months. Several months, in fact. Somewhere round about half a year. By the time we were finally able to switch to something that wasn’t spaghetti, I just couldn’t eat spaghetti anymore. It turned me off. It’s been just about a decade, and only recently have we been able to stomach bringing spaghetti back into our diet. We can’t have it very often because–no, too much spaghetti is just no. shudders

That’s not a comment on whether spaghetti is good or not. We simply oversaturated ourselves with it, to unfortunate excess, to the point where it’s just not a meal we’re interested in eating very much.

I can’t speak for anybody else but myself, but this is exactly why the names that have surrounded me in excess all my life are names that now my eyes pass over automatically. There have been so many personalities wearing those names, I’ve seen them everywhere and in so many configurations, that they’re tired. The energy in the names, that spark that makes me say, “This name makes me think of this kind of person, and I can’t wait to put the name into use!”–that’s gone for me.

After two-some decades of living in the same neighborhood as these names, going to school with them, going to church with them, playing sports with them, passing them in the street, riding the city bus with them, working beside them, reading them as characters in my books and celebrity figures in my magazines, watching them on TV, being their audience, seeing them on the news, hearing them on the radio, etc…? I can’t say I’m interested in surrounding myself with more of them.

Instead, I want to introduce fresher names into my own world. I want to spend some time ruminating on my Josephines and my Francescas; I want to imagine what kind of exciting life my Auberons and [name_m]Milos[/name_m] have. I want some time with [name_f]Astrid[/name_f], [name_m]Osric[/name_m], [name_m]Frederick[/name_m], and [name_f]Greta[/name_f]. Give me some [name_f]Zoia[/name_f] and some [name_m]Leopold[/name_m]. Give me something new.

It’s not a value judgment. It’s just me being tired of what is, to me, “same old, same old” because it’s been overfed to me all my life (will probably continue that way until the day I die because even though I’m an adult and no longer in grade school with Jessicas A, B, and C, they’re still sharing my generation, and I’ll probably continue to run into even more Jessicas ad infinitum). Frankly, at this point, I’m more than ready to have new meals to eat, new foods to try, fresher names to consider and fall in love with and cycle or re-cycle into public consumption.

[name_m]Just[/name_m] because certain names are currently considered “dated” because they’re the most recent downtrend doesn’t mean that they’re suddenly bad names. They’re just as good as they always were. If one or more of these names are right for you, by all means, please do use them for your children. More power to you.

As to the people who choose eschew them, perhaps consider whether these previously trendy names are being avoided because they were the several months’ (read: years’) worth of back-to-back spaghetti dinners for a lot of people, and many would probably prefer to eat something else now that the choice and opportunity is in their hands.

That’s how it is for me, at least. Apologies for the length of this. It got out of hand.

Names are like clothes. They go in and out of style. There are regional, national, and international trends. Naming your kid [name_f]Jennifer[/name_f] or [name_f]Stephanie[/name_f] in 2015 would be a lot like wearing shoulder pads to work. There’s nothing inherently wrong with it, it’s just out of style.

This is a very interesting thread. I have never really thought about why I dislike names that I find ‘dated’ but this is how I like to think about it.
So, as an active member of the Greek Orthodox community, I’m surounded by many Greeks. I meet all sorts of Marias, Elenis (that’s my name too), Anastasias, [name_m]Georges[/name_m], [name_m]Nicos[/name_m], and [name_m]Christos[/name_m]. Those are the most popular names in the Greek community as I’ve observed. Of course, [name_f]Maria[/name_f] and [name_m]George[/name_m] and all the others are great names: they have history, important saint references, probably family connections since Greeks recycle family names over and over, etc. But after meeting so many Marias and so many [name_m]Georges[/name_m], you kind of get tired of hearing it. You may get annoyed when trying to figure out “Are we taking about [name_f]Maria[/name_f] Pappas or [name_f]Maria[/name_f] Papadopoulous? [name_m]George[/name_m] [name_u]Christo[/name_u] or [name_m]George[/name_m] Michalis?”. You are over-saturated and want to find something new.
It’s like when you become obsessed with a new song and you put it on your iPod/MP3 and listen to it a bunch. At first you love it, but over a couple months, you become bored with it and start looking for a new jam. It doesn’t mean the song sucks, it just means that want to listen to something new. I think naming is like that: you’re hunting for something new to enjoy that no one else has yet. Once that song gets overplayed on the radio, it seems to lose its charm to you.
That’s kind of how I see it. I love all sorts of dated names like [name_f]Susan[/name_f] and [name_u]Joan[/name_u]. I think they’re sweet. But I also didn’t have Grandmothers (Yiayias) or Aunts or even friend’s moms named [name_f]Susan[/name_f] or [name_u]Joan[/name_u]. But I sure as hell had aunts named [name_f]Annie[/name_f] and [name_u]Nikki[/name_u] and friend’s moms named [name_u]Lisa[/name_u]. So the concept of dated-ness is all relative and I think every namer is just looking for something interesting and fresh to their ears. That’s why names like [name_u]Aidan[/name_u] and [name_f]Kaylee[/name_f] rose to the top: they sounded new. Soon enough those names will be over played and the new parents will find new mixtapes to play like [name_f]Cordelia[/name_f] and [name_m]Clark[/name_m] (for example). It’s just how it works I guess.

@nessette your post might have been lengthy but it was definitely worth the read. Thanks for sharing.

@nessette had a beautifully written post. That’s how I feel about it too. I have noticed that children that I meet with “dated” names are usually Hispanic. Probably because their parents (if they are immigrants) did not grow up hearing all of these names over and over again. For example, I have met a [name_f]Jennifer[/name_f], [name_f]Jessica[/name_f], [name_f]Brittney[/name_f], [name_f]Brenda[/name_f], [name_u]Ashley[/name_u], and [name_f]Lauren[/name_f]. They all had Hispanic parents. My husband didn’t want to use the name [name_m]Javier[/name_m] because he knew like 3 growing up in Mexico. But some of the names he suggested for girls were “dated” in [name_u]America[/name_u], but he had never heard them on a person in Mexico. He suggested names like [name_f]Karen[/name_f], [name_u]Lisa[/name_u], and [name_f]Joanna[/name_f].

My ex-husband & I grew up in the '60s/'70s. When I was pregnant w/our daughter, my ex wasn’t feeling the love toward most of the names I proposed. I remember him saying plaintively, “Why can’t we pick normal names like [name_f]Susan[/name_f]?”

I like outdated names. [name_m]Carl[/name_m] and [name_f]Jill[/name_f] are good examples. They’re short and simple, but I like them.

Of course, virtually nobody agrees with me. It seems that 99% of Nameberry users find both of those names to be hideous, incredibly outdated, impossible for a child to pull off in this day and age, and that the world might actually explode if I named a baby [name_m]Carl[/name_m] or [name_f]Jill[/name_f].

It’s kind of silly, because you never know when an unpopular name might become hot again. Look at [name_f]Emma[/name_f]. It was considered an old fashioned grandma name for decades, then it suddenly came back and got super popular. All it takes to bring a dormant name back from the dead is one popular fictional character with the name. What if the main character in the Hunger Games had been named [name_f]Myrtle[/name_f], [name_f]Gertrude[/name_f] or [name_f]Agnes[/name_f] instead? We’d be seeing plenty of little girls with a name that hasn’t been in the top 1000 since 1920.

I wish many parents would remember one important fact: childhood doesn’t last very long. Since humans are adults for most of their lives, we should be naming ADULTS not children. I prefer names that can effortlessly jump from infancy, childhood, adolescence and adulthood. A name like [name_f]Elizabeth[/name_f] may be boring to some modern parents but it has all of the ingredients to serve a woman well throughout her life. [name_f]Elizabeth[/name_f] can be [name_f]Lizzie[/name_f], [name_f]Libby[/name_f] and [name_f]Ellie[/name_f] when she’s little, [name_f]Eliza[/name_f] when she’s in school, [name_f]Elle[/name_f] when she’s a teenager and [name_f]Elizabeth[/name_f] again when it’s time to go to start a professional career. The options are endless.

I like names that have been around for a long time. Names with historical or literary significance. That’s probably why some of the more contemporary surnames and word names don’t make the grade for me. Some are ok in the middle spot to jazz up a traditional name but I wouldn’t choose any of them for first names.

Names are a reflection of the culture of the day so like many things, they go in and out of fashion. [name_f]Every[/name_f] generation seems to have certain “sounds” that are popular. Today, it’s “ay” and “n”. I’m older than many here on Nameberry so I remember lots of names in the sixties and the seventies because they were my schoolmates. I grew up hearing the same names all of the time (in my case, [name_u]Lisa[/name_u], [name_f]Michelle[/name_f], [name_f]Susan[/name_f], [name_f]Donna[/name_f], [name_f]Linda[/name_f], [name_f]Melissa[/name_f], [name_u]Kimberly[/name_u], [name_f]Heather[/name_f], [name_f]Nicole[/name_f], [name_f]Stephanie[/name_f], [name_u]Kelly[/name_u], [name_f]Sandra[/name_f], [name_f]Sharon[/name_f], [name_f]Jennifer[/name_f], [name_f]Brenda[/name_f] etc…) so they do sound “dated” to me. They’re too familiar and no longer have any appeal due to their overexposure.

I better stop there before I write a book! :slight_smile:

Most of the names were are currently referencing to as dated will come back around in time. Look at the reemergence of [name_f]Hazel[/name_f] and [name_f]Mabel[/name_f]; [name_m]Theodore[/name_m] and [name_m]Ezra[/name_m]. These were name that were popular almost a century ago. In 20 years we might see more [name_f]Sandra[/name_f]'s and [name_f]Deborah[/name_f]'s; [name_m]Kenneth[/name_m]'s and [name_m]Richard[/name_m]'s. In 50 years [name_f]Jennifer[/name_f], [name_u]Ashley[/name_u], and [name_f]Jessica[/name_f] might be back along with [name_m]Joshua[/name_m], [name_m]Daniel[/name_m], and [name_u]Ryan[/name_u].

I couldn’t tell you about the logic behind it, since there’s an entire history and culture surrounding naming, what it means to be trendy and the value of rarity. And social context isn’t really about logic, just about norms and values. There’s really no logic behind “I like spots better than stripes” or “I like [name_f]Alice[/name_f] more than [name_f]Alicia[/name_f]”. I could not run it through a lab and tell you one is inherently better than the other. It’s just fashion.

That aside, most people strive for two things: rarity, and style. Names that aren’t trendy right now, people aren’t inclined to use, no more than they are to wear their hair like they wore it ten years ago. But rarity is also considered attractive across the board. Rarity is itself fashionable. Timelessness is fashionable - it’s in the name, guaranteed.

We follow trends in all walks of life as a desire to be accepted and perceived as attractive, credible, so on and so forth.

That doesn’t make anyone shallow, it just makes them human.

In addition, as the 2010s has been an era of drawing inspiration from previous decades on the fashion front, I wouldn’t be surprised if names began to follow this trend.

Almost all of the names that I love I donto personally know someone with that name. It makes them unfamiliar, yet ive heard them before so they are familiar enough. It gives me the chance to imagine my child in any way, making them the makers of my idea of a name, which is pretty cool. For esample: I have met many [name_f]Jennifer[/name_f]'s, therefore the name is not original and I already have an idea of what a [name_f]Jennifer[/name_f] would be like, ans I wouldn’t want to assume what my daughter will be like. With that being said, there are some names that sound like troublemakers or immature people in my mind like [name_m]Damien[/name_m] or [name_u]Cody[/name_u]. Although they are fine names, I have a negative image of them, so I wouldn’t choose them for a child. Maybe this helps in some way? My work is working with kids, so its giving personalities to names i had previously had my own ideas about, which is narrowing my list quite drastically.