I posted this on the Mom’s board, but I really need advice, and unfortunately not too many check it out over there so I’m going to try and post it here. I really need some advice. I appreciate it more then you know… And I apologize it’s so long.
My husband and I dated for a year and then got married. Two months now. We’ve known eachother since we were 14 (we’re now 24) and have always been close friends.
The only problem… His ex.
My husband has a daughter, who is going to be 2 in [name]September[/name], with his ex-girlfriend/fiance. They were together for about a year and a half when they found out she was pregnant and he proposed to her and she accepted, but they truely didn’t belong together and it just didn’t work out with them. They stayed together until [name]Mackenzie[/name] (thier daughter) was 4 months old. And they both decided that it would be better to raise [name]Mackenzie[/name] as co-parents, because it was more damage then good with them together.
[name]Paul[/name] (my husband) and I started dating shortly after [name]Mackenzie[/name] first birthday. This is when the problems started with the ex. She knows me, but we were never really friends, yet all she had to say about me were terrible, hurtful things, and plain lies. We chalked it up to her being jealous and just not wanting another woman potentially being a ‘‘mommy’’ to her daughter. I never tried to by [name]Mackenzie[/name]'s mother. I love her to death, but I’m beyond respectful of the fact that I am not her mother and the ex is, and a good one at that. We always figured that the ex would eventually settle down, especially once she got herself a boyfriend. I was sooo happy once she did.
But… nothing has changed, it’s getting worse. [name]Paul[/name] and his ex have completely joint custody, 50/50. He’s not just a ‘‘weekend’’ dad, a lot of the times he has [name]Mackenzie[/name] on her mother’s days because she has whatever else she has to do. It is in the agreement that no parent can talk bad about the other parent in front of or too the child. Which doesn’t happen. But unfortuanatley it doesn’t state anywhere about significant others, so his ex still talks about me and tells some of the most horrible lies, and she tells them to [name]Mackenzie[/name]!
[name]Paul[/name]'s ex thinks, for some unknown reason, that I am a drug addict. Which I am not, I won’t even take tylenol! I have even willingly summited to random drug testing to the court as a stipultion while we were dating because his ex didn’t want me anywhere near her daughter. I passed every time with no problems what so ever, and so the court ruled that [name]Mackenzie[/name] would not be in any danger in my presense. The fact that I had to do that is ridiculous, in my opinion, but I did it without hesitation because I have nothing to hide. The ex though still thinks I am a drug addict though and talks about me to her family and friends. I could care less about that. HOWEVER, last night when she called to say good night to [name]Mackenzie[/name] right before she got off the phone she said( to her TWO year old daughter), “I love you sweetheart, not like that f**king cokehead.”
ARE YOU SERIOUS??? Who talks like that to their child, especially to a two year old? I am at a loss as to what to do… My husband and his ex go back to court at the end of [name]September[/name], and there will definately be said something said about this, and something will have to be added to their agreement. But what can I do in the mean time? And even once something is done about it, I don’t think it’ll stop. [name]Do[/name] anyone have any advice for me?! Please, I am honestly begging. I just don’t know what to do anymore. And to top it all off, my husband wants another baby. And so do I, desperately. We want to completely our little family. Right now though I guess I wouldn’t say that we are activiely trying to concieve, but if it happens we’ll be really happy. I’m just concerned about what new things his ex will have to say about it all. Not that it would really matter what she has to say about it, other then what little seed she might plant into [name]Mackenzie[/name] head about the ‘‘what if’’ baby.
I’m starting to ramble, I’m sorry. I just really need some advice. I apperciate EVERYTHING. Thank you.
