My husband and I are due in [name]April[/name]. We have nearly picked out a boy name and a girl name, but I have two hangups I need help with. Since our first son was born 4 years ago, we have liked the name [name]Carter[/name]. His middle name will be [name]Anthony[/name], after a beloved uncle who passed away. The problem is that last summer, before I was pregnant, I was talking to my neighbor. She and her husband live with his parents in our neighborhood, though they hope to move someday. She was pregnant at the time (and has since had her baby) and said his name would be [name]Karter[/name]. We rarely see this neighbors, perhaps only a few times a year, but it bothers me that when I finally see her again (out walking babies in the spring?) I’ll have to tell her that our kid is named [name]Carter[/name], too. My husband could care less and says it’s no big deal, but it bugs me. I want to use the name [name]Carter[/name], but feel like I can’t. Thoughts?
For a girl, we like the name [name]Maria[/name], to honor my grandmother. We haven’t figured out a middle name, but really like [name]Grace[/name]. No other middle name has yet appealed to both of us. I am Catholic, and like the whole [name]Maria[/name] [name]Grace[/name] thing for that reason, too. (Hail [name]Mary[/name], full of grace) The problem is that’s my niece’s middle name. (My sister’s daughter) Should I care about this? (My husband did at first, but then said he didn’t care.) I know it’s silly, but I don’t want to feel like I’m copying others, and I think my sister’s husband might comment on us using the same middle name.
Maybe ask your sister and see what she has to say? What about [name]Hannah[/name], it means [name]Grace[/name]…
As for [name]Carter[/name], just use it. That lady is not family, she doesn’t own the name, especially considering that [name]Carter[/name] isn’t really uncommon, it’s in the top 50.
I would not care about [name]Grace[/name] being your niece’s name. For one thing, [name]Grace[/name] is a very popular name in general and a very, very popular middle name choice.
I wouldn’t worry so much about the neighbor’s name choice, but maybe consider other boy’s names with the -er ending. You already have a feeling that he won’t be the only [name]Carter[/name]/[name]Karter[/name] around.
Here are some -er endings –
[name]Thatcher[/name]
[name]Cooper[/name]
[name]Brenner[/name]
[name]Tucker[/name]
[name]Turner[/name]
[name]Miller[/name]
[name]Lander[/name]
[name]Tanner[/name]
[name]Sawyer[/name]
I would use [name]Carter[/name] if I were you. You’ve liked it for years. The name will be with your son for his entire life, but it sounds like the family with [name]Karter[/name] aren’t a big part of your life and won’t be in your life for a very long period of time, since you rarely see each other and they plan to eventually move away.
I agree that I would probably check with your sister about [name]Grace[/name], but I think you should be fine. [name]Grace[/name] is a fairly common middle name. I wouldn’t think it was strange at all if I met cousins who both had the middle name [name]Grace[/name].
I would totally use [name]Carter[/name]. It’s a lovely name, and it’s more popular, so it wouldn’t be weird to have a [name]Karter[/name] and [name]Carter[/name] who don’t see each other that often. As for [name]Grace[/name](awesome name btw, ) I think you can use it. I have 5 cousins with the middle name [name]Marie[/name], and nobody thinks it’s weird because it’s a common middle name. Also [name]Grace[/name] is a popular first name and middle name, so it wouldn’t be weird. But if you’re really worried about it, then I would check with your sister, but I know that if I ever named my daughter (Name) and my sister wanted to use (Name) as her daughters middle name, I wouldn’t care and [name]Maria[/name] [name]Grace[/name] is gorgeous!
I love [name]Maria[/name] [name]Grace[/name]! It’s no big deal about using the same mn as a family member. If anything they should feel honored. We used the same mn as our nephew and our [name]SIL[/name] & [name]BIL[/name] were honored that they were connected in that way.
I would go ahead and use [name]Carter[/name] if you like it, they’re not family or even close friends, so I don’t think it matters that they’ll have the same name. As for [name]Grace[/name], I would probably just use it, it’s only a middle name after all. All 3 of my nephews share a name (one as his first name, the other two as their middle names, which is my dad’s name), and no one in my family batted an eyelid about it! I intend to use it as a middle name if I ever have a son as well.
I agree with everyone else – definitely use both. Also (this is a little harsh, but I’m slightly emotional about bad spellings), it seems like the woman who lives with your neighbor has even less “ownership” of the name because she spelled it wrong, not to mention she probably got it from you in the first place. [name]Carter[/name] is a great name. [name]Don[/name]'t let her stop you from using it.
As for your little one’s cousin having the same middle name: Honestly, I have no clue what my cousins’ middle names are and we are very close. Plus, [name]Grace[/name] is a very common middle name – sort of like the [name]Anne[/name] or [name]Elizabeth[/name] of my generation – so it’s not like they were unique to think of it in the first place. That’s not to say anything bad about it – this is one of my favorite names, and it’s a popular middle name for a reason, because it sounds beautiful and is a great complement to most names.
I wouldn’t worry about the neighbor. They will probably move soon and you will hardly ever see them. If they do cause a stink, you can explain your reasons for naming him [name]Carter[/name] and let her know that you were planning on naming your son [name]Carter[/name] way before her [name]Karter[/name] was even thought of.
Now concerning your family. I don’t think using the same mn is a big deal, but I do recommend giving your sister a heads up so that she’s not surprised. If she is territorial about the name then I’d suggest that you keep looking, because unless you split off completely from your family, you will be seeing her and her daughter for the rest of your life.
) I think you can use it. I have 5 cousins with the middle name [name]Marie[/name], and nobody thinks it’s weird because it’s a common middle name. Also [name]Grace[/name] is a popular first name and middle name, so it wouldn’t be weird. But if you’re really worried about it, then I would check with your sister, but I know that if I ever named my daughter (Name) and my sister wanted to use (Name) as her daughters middle name, I wouldn’t care 
and [name]Maria[/name] [name]Grace[/name] is gorgeous!