I’ve been working on finding a new name for myself for over a year and it’s becoming exhausting. I’ve made countless lists and narrowed it down, finally decided on names two times and neither of them ended up feeling right. I most like names that I don’t think I could pull off (ex. I’m not girly enough for [name_f]Tiffany[/name_f], not cool enough for Ursula) so I feel stuck. I need some guidance. TIA
Sorry you’re having this experience, it sounds like it must be very frustrating. Have you tried the ‘Starbucks’ trick with various names? Like seeing how it feels to test saying them aloud in public and having them said back to you (You probably have but worth checking as I hear it’s very helpful)
When it comes to pulling off names…in many ways I think that it’s just a matter of familiarity. They might seem ‘too [something]’ for you but maybe you’d grow into them - is there a name you really wish you could pull off? One that represents something you’d like to be true?
Choosing a new name is very hard and two of the people I know who’ve done so have gone through several different names before settling on something they’ve stuck with. Maybe take some time with the name, wearing it, having other people call you it, to see if it comes to fit you, if that makes sense - it’s going to take time to get used to it.
I think that’s perfectly normal, actually. It takes time getting used to a new name and figuring if it suits you for the rest of your life. It seems obvious, but maybe try looking at it as an exciting sea of opportunities instead of an anxiety-inducing task, yk?
[name_f]Do[/name_f] you have someone that can help you with it? Having a friend call you a possible name for a whole week can be useful.
And I wouldn’t worry about not “fitting” a name - in the end, you and your personality add way more to a name than the other way around.
Sorry if any of this sounds cliche or cheap advice.
Wishing you all the best in your naming journey
Trying them out in restaurants and coffee shops has definitely helped.
[name_f]My[/name_f] absolute favorite name is [name_f]Ursula[/name_f], I would love so much to be able to wear it but of the names I’ve discussed with other people, it’s the only one that’s gotten a universally negative reaction so that’s turned me away from it a little. I don’t necessarily have a style of name I prefer which doesn’t help narrow things down.
[name_u]Ashton[/name_u] [name_u]Neal[/name_u]
[name_u]Blair[/name_u] [name_u]Neal[/name_u]
[name_u]Devyn[/name_u] [name_u]Neal[/name_u]
[name_f]Farrah[/name_f] [name_u]Neal[/name_u]
[name_f]Ingrid[/name_f] [name_u]Neal[/name_u]
[name_u]Ivy[/name_u] [name_u]Neal[/name_u]
[name_u]Jamie[/name_u] [name_u]Neal[/name_u]
[name_u]Jo[/name_u] [name_u]Neal[/name_u]
Loey [name_u]Neal[/name_u]
[name_u]Murphy[/name_u] [name_u]Neal[/name_u]
[name_u]Reagan[/name_u] [name_u]Neal[/name_u]
[name_u]Sage[/name_u] [name_u]Neal[/name_u]
[name_f]Sara[/name_f] [name_u]Neal[/name_u]
[name_f]Savannah[/name_f] [name_u]Neal[/name_u]
[name_u]Stormy[/name_u] [name_u]Neal[/name_u]
[name_f]Tiffany[/name_f] [name_u]Neal[/name_u]
[name_f]Tillie[/name_f] [name_u]Neal[/name_u]
[name_u]Tristin[/name_u] [name_u]Neal[/name_u]
[name_f]Ursula[/name_f] [name_u]Neal[/name_u]
[name_u]Zoe[/name_u] [name_u]Neal[/name_u]
I get you, I love [name_f]Ursula[/name_f] as a baby name but people tend to connect her to the sea witch and dislike it for that reason. Which frankly I think is unfair to the name and the character!
If some positive associations would help - I think [name_f]Ursula[/name_f] is gorgeous, she’s Shakespearean, magical, and has a wonderful strong meaning. She reminds me of the [name_f]Ursa[/name_f] constellations and has a lovely lilting sound. And she’s distinctive! People wouldn’t forget an [name_f]Ursula[/name_f] in a hurry.
Your style strikes me as a little retro/00s, a blend of neutral and girly. They seem like ‘popular girl’ names to me and I can understand possibly feeling intimidated by that vibe. They’re just very cool names and maybe it’s difficult to apply that to oneself, but I really think it’s just time and practice, and not feeling like you have to commit 100% to the first one - give yourself a chance to experiment. Good luck with it!
omg hi!! i just wanna say i‘m in the exact same sitch and i feel so embarrassed bc i keep pestering the nameberries with my threads and then being unsure again the only thing i wanted to say was pls pls be gentle and kind with yourself and don’t pressure yourself into making a choice no matter how long it takes. keep trying out more names if you have supportive friends or even just a game that calls you by your name a lot. i‘m using the game thing bc i‘m way too shy to just introduce myself to strangers. best of luck!
btw my taste in names is kinda similar to yours! i want a combination of a neutral first name with a more girly second name. i love ivy and a similar name you might like is evie. i also really love harper and piper which could be similar to blair.