See the results of this poll: If you HAD to choose…
Respondents: 26 (This poll is closed)
- Rebecca Jane: 17 (65%)
- Marissa Jane: 9 (35%)
[name]Becca[/name] [name]Jane[/name]! It’s beautiful, cute and sophisticated, classic and fresh all at the same time 
[name]Rebecca[/name] [name]Jane[/name] is my sister’s name and she’s always loved it. A possible problem is that it’s always been relegated to the nickname realm with [name]Becca[/name] when she was small and [name]Becky[/name] as she got older. Still, it’s a gorgeous name.
I wanted to vote for [name]Marissa[/name], for your mother, but I just really don’t like the name. I have a soft spot for [name]Rebecca[/name]. Other ideas to honor your mother:
[name]Miriam[/name]
[name]Marin[/name]/[name]Maren[/name]
[name]Mae[/name]/[name]May[/name]
[name]Molly[/name]
[name]Marietta[/name]
[name]Maisie[/name]
[name]Maria[/name]
[name]Polly[/name]
[name]Marina[/name]
[name]Mabel[/name]
[name]Maeve[/name]
[name]Maureen[/name]
[name]Maude[/name]
Thanks to each of you for your comments and votes! Rather than being about naming a future daughter, this thread was a way to help me process the decision I made (11 years ago) to name my daughter [name]Rebecca[/name] [name]Jane[/name] instead of [name]Marissa[/name] [name]Jane[/name]. My husband and I liked both names, but quickly settled on [name]Rebecca[/name] (for sib set with [name]Daniel[/name] and [name]Timothy[/name]). On the way home from the hosptal, I was suddenly struck with the realization that I was not finished considering the name [name]Marissa[/name] [name]Jane[/name] - to honor my mother [name]Mary[/name] [name]Jane[/name] (who died when I was 7). I felt that I lost a special chance to connect my mother to her granddaughter. I dealt with these thoughts and feelings by squelching them. I have not said anything to my daughter about this, but once in a while, a surge of second thoughts about the name choice resurface. I realized that the Nameberry community is a perfect opportunity to get feedback from name experts about the name choice. I do love the name [name]Rebecca[/name], and my daughter is happy with her name.
The comments and votes here are helpful for me to process (and put to rest) the nagging thoughts and help me accept - once and for all - the choice I made. Thanks, again!
Naming a future daughter is a whole different topic from this one. Since I already used [name]Jane[/name], I would not use [name]Marissa[/name]. For another daughter (if I should be so blessed), I am leaning towards [name]Susannah[/name].
I love [name]Susannah[/name]…another classic and pairs delightfully with [name]Rebecca[/name].
I think giving your daughter the middle name [name]Jane[/name] is a lovely way to honor your Mom and it’s actually a triple honor if you think about it (1: the honor of giving your daughter your Mom’s middle name as her own; 2: the honor of giving your daughter the middle name your Mom gave to you; and 3: the honor of continuing a family tradition started by your Mom of passing down the middle name [name]Jane[/name] from mother to daughter).
[name]Rebecca[/name] [name]Jane[/name] is a lovely name, and I think it’s great that you chose a first name that you loved and that could give your daughter some individuality since her middle name is already so steeped in family ties.
If you do end up having another daughter, the challenge is to make sure her name is equally special and that she doesn’t feel left out of the mother-daughter bonding that is represented in your first daughter’s name. I think giving this second daughter, should she come along, a name that honors your Mom’s first name, either in the first or middle spot is one way to do this (I’m not a fan of [name]Marissa[/name], but if you are then you should go for it; there are lots of great [name]Mary[/name] variants, though, including my personal favorite, [name]Miriam[/name]). Another idea is to start a second tradition by giving your daughter a first of middle name that is a variant of your own first name (tying her into the tradition started with your first daughter and starting a new one at the same time). Maybe it could become a tradition in your family for first born daughters to have the middle name [name]Jane[/name] and second born daughters to have a middle name that is a variant on their Mom’s first name, for example? [name]Just[/name] some thoughts . . .
Jlm,
Thank you so much for taking the time to share your thoughts and fresh insights about my naming choice. I like the way you compiled a set of all the positives to keep in mind as I put it in perspective. Thank you for pointing out the ideal scenario that [name]Rebecca[/name] has her own individuality in her name while ALSO having a mn being traditionally passed from mother to daughter. I am also encouraged by finding [name]Rebecca[/name] is more (not less) widely liked and accepted than [name]Marissa[/name], so I no longer have to wonder if I deprived my daughter of the “better” first name.
I had not thought about it before, but you are right that a second daughter could feel left out if she did not have a name tying her to the mother-daughter bond too. Super ideas to make that happen!
Thank you for your thoughtfulness, Jlm! I am glad I posted this concern. I have gained a more positive perspective about the choice I made. I feel that I can FINALLY put my concerns to rest once and for all. All the best to you!