I'm so frustrated.. Maybe you can help?

For years I’ve been wanting to change my name. I’ve gone through so many, every name you could possibly think of- I’ve most likely seen, considered, and/or dismissed. As the months go on without settling on something I’m 100% confident on I’m getting quite frustrated. I’m afraid that I’ll never find a name that fits me.

My list so far consists of:

• [name_f]Audrey[/name_f]
• [name_m]Azriel[/name_m]
• [name_u]Murphy[/name_u]

[name_f]Audrey[/name_f] is the newest to my list. I chose this name because it somewhat honors my great Uncle who’s name was [name_u]Aubrey[/name_u]. I’ve never met him but I’ve heard so many great stories about him and he was my father’s favorite. The one thing I’m worried about is [name_f]Audrey[/name_f] being or becoming too popular or if it sounds too… house-wife-y?

[name_m]Azriel[/name_m] is meaningful to me in a way others might not understand. [name_m]Azriel[/name_m] is the angel of destruction and renewal and I have struggled, and still do struggle with self-destruction. One might see that as a bad thing but it’s a part of who I am, I remind myself that I can either let it destroy me or I can turn it into something else… renewal. That is why I love this name.

I have a very strong connection to [name_u]Murphy[/name_u]. My most favorite movie in the world is Interstellar. In the movie there is a character named [name_u]Murphy[/name_u] [name_m]Cooper[/name_m] who is a girl. She is named after [name_u]Murphy[/name_u]'s [name_m]Law[/name_m] which some think is “Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong” but actually the original meaning is “Anything that can happen, will happen”. I have severe depression and anxiety and whenever it gets extremely bad or I have a particularly bad day I re-watch Interstellar and in that moment, everything becomes okay again.

I was wondering if you had opinions on my list? What would be your first impression if you met someone with any of these names? [name_f]Do[/name_f] you have any other suggestions that you think I might like?

I have auburn hair that falls down to my waist, dark brown eyes, and fair olive skin with freckles. I would describe myself as independent, stubborn, temperamental, & optimistic. I’m naturally curious and like to wander. I love to build things. I especially love working with machines. I’ll be double majoring in Mechanical & Aerospace Engineering when I go to university.

Regarding [name_m]Azriel[/name_m] and [name_u]Murphy[/name_u] being “boy names” - I honestly do not care. [name_u]Murphy[/name_u] is a girl in Interstellar. [name_m]Azriel[/name_m] is given to more girls than boys today. I grew up without a mother and around boys all my life. Super girly names aren’t my style anyway.

I really like [name_u]Murphy[/name_u] for you - the meaning, sound and feel are brilliant and I think it would fit you well

I’m going through the same process, and I agree, it’s very hard!

[name_f]Audrey[/name_f] - I would imagine this person to be very much as you describe yourself. An adventurous person with cautious optimism, tries to enjoy life, and a little bit feisty. My impression is partly shaped by [name_f]Audrey[/name_f] Hepburn, and I think that will be the case for most people. I don’t think that’s a bad thing at all. She was spunky and fashionable, very classy, but also seemed like a down to earth, open-minded, and happy person. Definitely not house-wifey. I’ve considered this name myself, and I think it’s a good name to use when you’re naming yourself. It’s not too out-there but it has character without being an overly frilly name. I don’t think people would be judgmental about a name change to [name_f]Audrey[/name_f], and it has personal significance to you which means a lot. As far as the popularity, I don’t see it getting any higher than it is now, but I also don’t see it getting much lower. It’s a classic that will likely never give away your age, and I think that’s a good thing!

[name_m]Azriel[/name_m] - Honestly, I would assume someone named [name_m]Azriel[/name_m], particularly a girl named [name_m]Azriel[/name_m], changed their name. I would expect someone who is into the esoteric, is dreamy, cynical, and a little bit attention-seeking. That said, I really like the name and I wish it was more main-stream. While it’s tempting to choose a name that’s super unique and personally symbolic to you (it is for me too), your name isn’t something you use privately. It’s your title that you present on job applications and the like. If that doesn’t bother you and you have the confidence to shake off any raised eyebrows and prove yourself, [name_m]Azriel[/name_m] could be a really good name. It just depends on how comfortable you are with standing out and answering the questions you will likely get.

[name_u]Murphy[/name_u] - Of course, first, I would expect a male, but you know that. I would expect a [name_u]Murphy[/name_u] to be a little shy, but fun and hard-working if not disorganized. I also don’t think it being a male name is that big a deal. I’m in STEM too and when considering a name, I always try to find what male nicknames I could make out of it to use if I need to be taken seriously. Studies have shown that if a profile is given a male name, they’re thought to be more competent, so [name_u]Murphy[/name_u] might help you out in that respect. It probably won’t help much once they meet you, though, and you have to ask yourself if (as far as getting hired) you really want to work for someone that has those kind of preconceptions. It’s kind of nice to know they knew you were a girl when they decided to give you an interview.

If you’re anything like me, you might feel that if you keep looking, eventually you’ll come across that name that makes bells ring and you go, “Of course, why didn’t I think of it before. That’s me!” But, in reality, that’s very unlikely to happen, and you’ll just keep looking at the same names while introducing yourself with a name you know you like less than the ones on your infinitely growing and shrinking list. You probably know this already. At some point, you have to choose something that you’re comfortable using when you introduce yourself and hand out business cards, or whatever. If you’re lucky, the name will have some meaning to you, and I think you’ve already found three that do. Best of luck!

First of all I just want to say that you’re so strong. Thanks for sharing your struggles. Wish you good fortune.

Interstellar is my favorite movie too:)

I can’t decide wether I prefer [name_u]Murphy[/name_u] or [name_m]Azriel[/name_m] for you. I think I personally would prefer [name_u]Murphy[/name_u], I love the connection to the character and movie, and it sounds so pleasant. It’s a bit tomboyish, but at the same time cute and totally wearable on girls.
I’ve never heard of [name_m]Azriel[/name_m] before, but it sounds cool, and it is meaningful to you.

Actually, while writing this I think my favorite for you is [name_u]Murphy[/name_u] :slight_smile: I think it really fits the description of you

Have you considered celestial names as a connection with interstellar?

What about using both? [name_u]Murphy[/name_u] [name_m]Azriel[/name_m] (too much?)

I also vote for [name_u]Murphy[/name_u]. It’s so meaningful to you. [name_f]Audrey[/name_f] and [name_m]Azriel[/name_m] are both wonderful names too, but [name_f]Audrey[/name_f] seems a little safe for your taste and [name_m]Azriel[/name_m] is esoteric and not familiar at all to most people— [name_u]Murphy[/name_u] is the sweet spot.

Wishing you the best in your name change!

[name_f]Audrey[/name_f], [name_m]Azriel[/name_m] and [name_u]Murphy[/name_u] are all great names … but for you I would pick [name_u]Murphy[/name_u]. I love the meaning it has for you, and it’s just an all-round awesome name besides!

I changed my name a few years ago, and I can say it’s worth the frustration etc. It feels great to finally have a name that reflects who I am now. Good luck!

I was also going to suggest [name_u]Murphy[/name_u] [name_m]Azriel[/name_m]…& mention too that I have a good friend who’s just decided in her late 30s to start going by her middle name, which she thinks reflects her personality way more than her first name (her middle name is a color name). From what you’ve written you & she seem to have a lot of similarities in personality & reasons for making a name change, so I’m glad you’re thinking about this at a much younger age. Best of luck to you! :slight_smile:

I really like [name_u]Murphy[/name_u] on a girl, and I think the connection to the Interstellar character is perfect!

I think [name_u]Murphy[/name_u] is perfect for you. I adore the connection to [name_u]Murphy[/name_u]'s law and your favorite movie! Go for it.

I think this boils down to your confidence level.
[name_f]Audrey[/name_f] is a lovely name and it’s the safest name. I wouldn’t worry about it getting too popular. You aren’t exactly peers with babies born today or next year being named [name_f]Audrey[/name_f].
[name_m]Azriel[/name_m] is a strange name. And there’s nothing wrong with that. But you will be asked about how you got your name a lot more with a name like [name_m]Azriel[/name_m] than [name_f]Audrey[/name_f]. [name_f]Do[/name_f] you feel comfortable at the idea of defending that choice over and over again when you meet new people? Your reasons for choosing it are deeply personal and you may not want to hash them out repeatedly.
[name_u]Murphy[/name_u] is my maiden name so I’m called [name_u]Murphy[/name_u] from time to time. I like it. I like that this name has meaning to you but you can explain it with less personal depth by just saying you’re named after the character or [name_u]Murphy[/name_u]'s law. I actually wouldn’t worry about people assuming you’re a boy. Nobody has ever heard me called [name_u]Murphy[/name_u] and said that’s a boys name but they have (correctly) assumed it’s my last name. So you may get that assumption from time to time, or people asking you if it’s a family name. But I don’t think that’s a big deal.

I think [name_u]Murphy[/name_u] is your name! It’s perfect. After reading why you love the name, I really believe that’s the one. I really adore what it means for you. Also, [name_u]Murphy[/name_u] [name_m]Cooper[/name_m] is an amazing character! She’s so strong and intelligent. There’s also a female character in [name_u]Grey[/name_u]'s Anatomy named [name_f]Leah[/name_f] [name_u]Murphy[/name_u] that goes by [name_u]Murphy[/name_u] or Dr. [name_u]Murphy[/name_u] most part of the time.
I’m not crazy about [name_m]Azriel[/name_m], sorry. [name_f]Audrey[/name_f] is a lovely name with a great meaning. However, I think that [name_u]Murphy[/name_u] and [name_m]Azriel[/name_m] are the names that really touch your heart.

What about:
[name_u]Ariel[/name_u] - “lion of God”
[name_f]Gabrielle[/name_f] - “God is my strength”
[name_u]Valentine[/name_u] - “strong, vigourous, healthy”
[name_f]Lux[/name_f] - “light”
[name_f]Amara[/name_f] - “grace”
[name_f]Eliana[/name_f] - “sun”
[name_f]Mireya[/name_f] - “miracle”
[name_f]Raphaela[/name_f] - “God has healed”
[name_f]Nadia[/name_f] - “hope”
[name_f]Beatrice[/name_f]/[name_f]Beatrix[/name_f] - “she who brings happiness.”
[name_f]Vera[/name_f] - “faith”
[name_f]Aisling[/name_f] - “dream, vision”
[name_f]Soleil[/name_f] - “sun”

The best of luck!!