In a pickle! Living or stillborn help?!

Hey berries,

I really need some help/comments on these equally loved names. My partner isn’t very helpful with the boys names for this baby.

I have daughter from a previous partner. Most of the time she’s called [name_m]Ely[/name_m] as some people struggle with her full name usually calling her Alira. Her middle name is [name_f]Michalina[/name_f] after my grandmother.

My current partner and I have a daughter named [name_f]Seraphina[/name_f] [name_f]Anastazja[/name_f]. She goes by Raf and my daughter calls her feena.

So anyway, here are the boys names we can’t decide on.

[name_m]Calum[/name_m] - a name I’ve loved for a very long time. Partner said it’s growing on him. NN would be [name_u]Cal[/name_u] or [name_f]Lumi[/name_f].

[name_m]Josiah[/name_m] - loved this name since I met a [name_m]Josiah[/name_m] when I was very young and always thought I’d use it someday. Partner said it sounds like an old lady name :roll_eyes: but he likes the biblical/Hebrew part of it. NN would be [name_m]Jos[/name_m].

[name_m]Jakub[/name_m] - only recently started liking this name as it’s a name that fit for both of us though I’m not too keen on how popular it is in my part of the world. NN would be [name_m]Jak[/name_m], Kub or [name_m]Kubo[/name_m]. (Polish NN for [name_m]Jakub[/name_m] is usually [name_m]Kuba[/name_m] which is cute too!) But I’m not in love with it as much as [name_m]Josiah[/name_m] or [name_m]Calum[/name_m].

Franciszek - this would be middle name option only and it was my grandfathers name. [name_u]Francis[/name_u] is also another option.

[name_m]Aleksandr[/name_m] - middle name option only, polish version of [name_m]Alexander[/name_m] which is a family name.

Also, I have a Polish background which is why my daughters have polish middle names and why we chose the [name_m]Jakub[/name_m] spelling over the [name_m]Jacob[/name_m] spelling and why it’s Franciszek over [name_u]Francis[/name_u].
I also usually like uncommon names that are familiar enough to not be too weird or odd.

My partner prefers Hebrew names and really common names like [name_f]Sarah[/name_f] and [name_m]Jack[/name_m]. we struggled to find boys names we both liked but he doesn’t really want to give other names a try.

So there are a few name options for us:

[name_m]Calum[/name_m] [name_m]Josiah[/name_m]
[name_m]Jakub[/name_m] Franciszek
[name_m]Josiah[/name_m] Franciszek
[name_m]Calum[/name_m] [name_m]Aleksandr[/name_m]
[name_m]Calum[/name_m] Franciszek
[name_m]Jakub[/name_m] [name_m]Aleksandr[/name_m]

There’s also another BIG issue. I currently have some medical issues going on so I’ve been told to have seperate names. One for a baby that would be living and one for a baby that would be stillborn. This is another reason we are struggling to find a name for this baby.

I was thinking [name_m]Calum[/name_m] [name_m]Josiah[/name_m] if he’s stillborn cause I still get to use two names I love that my partner wouldn’t be upset about me ‘using up’

And [name_m]Jakub[/name_m] Franciszek if he makes it through the pregnancy.

But at the same time I would really love to have a [name_m]Calum[/name_m] and [name_m]Josiah[/name_m] too :weary::broken_heart:

I need thoughts and opinions on this one and any other name suggestions to go with [name_m]Ely[/name_m] and [name_f]Seraphina[/name_f] would be great too.

It’s stressing me out more than it should and I’m still not over the fact that I’ve been told to have two names picked out in case things don’t work out.

Please help.

I love [name_m]Calum[/name_m] [name_f]Alexandr[/name_f], and I think [name_m]Calum[/name_m] is the name you and your partner love the most, so maybe use that if he makes it through the pregnancy?

For the other name, maybe use [name_m]Josiah[/name_m] as the middle since your partner isn’t actually a fan. Then you still get to use it?

I’d keep [name_m]Calum[/name_m] [name_m]Josiah[/name_m] for if he’s stillborn. Then you have a really wonderful name, and you’re still using the names. [name_m]Don[/name_m]'t let yourself feel like you want to save one for a living baby. This baby’s name matters equally whether he lives or not, I think. You’ll still say it, and think of him frequently. The only thing is, I’d maybe pick one with a special meaning, or one that is especially gentle, without factoring in “will it fit him when he’s an adult?”.

I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I can’t imagine how tough it must be. Thoughts and well wishes to you and your family and your little boy <3 .

1 Like

I have no experience myself with this situation but I wanted to say I’m so very sorry for what you are going through.

I am so very sorry about everything you’re going through. I wish only the best for you, your partner, and your older kids and I hope very much that your unborn child pulls through. I don’t have any advice about your names but I just wanted to let you know I’ll be thinking of you and I hope it works out.

I am wishing you and your baby all the best!

I was not in the same situation as you, but I was hospitalised with medical issues and my baby was delivered 8 weeks early. It was a very scary time, but I never thought about an alternative name if bub didn’t make it. She had her name we had chosen and that was her name. I know you have been told to have 2 names, and you can obviously do that - but if you and your partner want to chose a name for bub regardless of outcome, then that is also an option for you.

Again, best wishes and I am truly hoping your boy pulls through.

I haven’t been in your position but having a high risk pregnancy with twins I can’t say that I never thought about this. I didn’t name them for certain until they were born because of my fear that something would happen to one of them. So I thought about the name thing a lot too.
I would use [name_m]Josiah[/name_m] for him if he doesn’t make it and [name_m]Calum[/name_m] (if your dh gets onboard) if he does.
[name_m]Calum[/name_m] is my favorite pick. I think it’s beautiful and it would still be very meaningful to choose it either way.
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I pray everything goes well for you and your little boy.

Firstly I don’t know who told you you have to pick two names but if they were a medical professional they need to be reported because that is wildly inappropriate and insensitive.

Secondly I’d go [name_m]Josiah[/name_m] Francisiezk it’s spunky it’s cute and it’s using a name you love.