In need of perspective...HELP!

[jroflo]

Help! I’m desperately in need of some perspective concerning my daughter’s name. I want to find a way to love her name, but if I can’t, I will need to make a very difficult decision about changing it. This is a long post, but I wanted to be sure to include as much information as possible to help you as you offer advice.

My husband and I just adopted a baby girl. She was a surprise, as we got the call about her and were chosen to be her parents the day of her birth. Because adoption is so uncertain, my husband had not previously wished to seriously discuss names, which was fine with me, since I wanted to be open to using names that were special to circumstances of the child’s birth or birth family. I did, however, have in mind a few favorite names, and I had prepared charts listing each of my favorite names, its rank, its meaning, my associations with the name, favorite bearers, nicknames, etc. I wanted to go in with well-formed ideas about names, but I also wanted to have some flexibility.

While my husband and I both love traditional names, he is stuck on the ubiquitous classics ([name]Elizabeth[/name], [name]Anne[/name], etc.). I tend to prefer those in the middle spot, saving the first for refreshed classics. My top three picks going in were [name]Amelia[/name], [name]Caroline[/name], and [name]Claire[/name] (in no particular order). I figured we’d end up with an [name]Amelia[/name] [name]Elizabeth[/name], [name]Caroline[/name] [name]Anne[/name], or something of the sort. But, of course, I found out at the last second that my husband decided he didn’t want to use [name]Amelia[/name] as a first name because he feared she’d be called “[name]Amelia[/name] [name]Bedelia[/name],” and he didn’t want to use [name]Claire[/name] because he thought people might think that we, a Caucasian couple, had named our African American daughter after [name]Clair[/name] Huxtable of the Cosby Show. He never said anything about [name]Caroline[/name], but if he had really liked it, I’m sure he would have said so. (Of course, later he told me he did like [name]Caroline[/name] when I razzed him about it, but I’m guessing he didn’t love it enough to really want to use it.)

Well, we passed by a [name]Catherine[/name] [name]Street[/name] on our way to the hospital, and my husband said, “What about [name]Catherine[/name]?” I told him it was a nice name, and that I liked the nickname [name]Kate[/name], but that I was unsure whether I would rather use [name]Katherine[/name] or [name]Catherine[/name], [name]Kate[/name] or [name]Cate[/name]. (For me, enough reason to avoid it.) He was stuck on [name]Catherine[/name] with a C and [name]Kate[/name] with a K. I think he just wanted to pick a name, and since we both had nice things to say about [name]Catherine[/name], he kind of shut out other options. (He is very decisive and doesn’t need a lot of time to make decisions, whereas I really like to think things through.) In a last ditch effort, I showed him a list of various name combos I liked, but he never veered from [name]Catherine[/name] and we ended up with [name]Catherine[/name] [name]Amelia[/name], which I liked.

Then, I started having big regrets.

1. I had wished to avoid a complicated name, and I realized that [name]Catherine[/name] is one that will always have to be spelled out (and we had chosen the less common spelling for this day and age). Not super complicated, but definitely avoidable.
2. I realized her name would mostly be seen as [name]Catherine[/name] L–, and that my beloved [name]Amelia[/name] would be lost.
3. I started to understand how very common [name]Catherine[/name] is. I realized just how many Katies I know, and I started seeing [name]Catherine[/name] everywhere. (I only have a couple of friends named [name]Kate[/name] or [name]Catherine[/name]/[name]Katherine[/name], so I guess all the nicknames for the name just threw me off.) Three of the ten brides in a society wedding magazine I flipped through were Catherines. I found out that my neighbor’s daughter is also called [name]Kate[/name] (short for [name]Katelyn[/name]), and when I added up all the Katherines, Kates and Katelyns in their various spelling, I realized the name is right up at the top of the most common names, and has been for ages. Yikes. I just started feeling suffocated by the name. I know that my other favorite names are all in the top 100 and on the rise, but I prefer perennial favorites to names that are very common in every generation. And I really prefer the first name to be one where I don’t personally know a lot of people with that name, which is true for all of my favorites. If I had been more open to megapopular names, I would have given more serious consideration to [name]Emma[/name], [name]Emily[/name] or [name]Sophia[/name].
4. I’m not a fan of most [name]Catherine[/name] nicknames. I like [name]Cate[/name]/[name]Kate[/name], but not [name]Katie[/name], [name]Kit[/name], [name]Kat[/name]/[name]Cat[/name], and certainly not [name]Cathy[/name]/[name]Kathy[/name]. I’d rather that my daughter have a name where I liked all the nicknames (or where there were no nicknames, just pet names.)
5. What if this is my only daughter? I’m not sure I would have gone with [name]Catherine[/name] as a first name. I love it in the middle spot (especially where it works as a double name, like [name]Nora[/name] [name]Kate[/name] for [name]Eleanor[/name] [name]Catherine[/name]), but not sure that I love it as a first name. [name]Catherine[/name] is a great name, but I’m not sure we’ve used it in the best possible way.
6. I feel like I just lost the chance to use all my favorite names. [name]Amelia[/name] found her place in the middle spot, but she’ll rarely have a chance to use it. To use [name]Claire[/name] or [name]Caroline[/name] I’m afraid I’d have to start a whole family of C’s. Or, if I just had one other girl, I think [name]Claire[/name] and [name]Kate[/name] do work well together, but [name]Caroline[/name] (which I’ve now decided is my absolute favorite) seems too similar to [name]Catherine[/name] (though not to [name]Kate[/name]). What do you think?
7. What if a close friend or family member chooses one of my favorites, and I wasted my opportunity to name a girl on [name]Catherine[/name], a lovely but very common name?

Still, there are some good things about the name.

1. Lots of history (which my husband loves).
2. Tons of sweet nicknames (Katydid, [name]Kit[/name] [name]Kat[/name], etc.).
3. My husband really seems to love it.
4. We’ve already called her this for a couple of weeks and shared the name with family and friends, so I’d be so embarrassed to change it. And I don’t want to set aside my husband’s wishes.
5. There are benefits to a common name (but I don’t think any of those are lost on my other top picks).
6. [name]Kate[/name] is very appealing and would go well with short and sweet boy’s names/nicknames ([name]Ben[/name], [name]Nick[/name], [name]Miles[/name], etc.).
7. My daughter’s birth grandmother, who takes care of all her siblings on her mom’s side, is named [name]Katherine[/name]. We discovered that after we named her and thought it was a sweet connection, especially since the baby’s birth family has chosen to have no ongoing contact with us (their way of coping, I think).

Berries, please help me work through this dilemma. I want to find a way to love my daughter’s name, but if I can’t, I’m going to have to change it.

One added note: I am from the US. Amelia is at 30, Claire is at 50, and Caroline is at 87. Catherine is at 161, but Katherine is at 61. When you add up all forms of Catherine, the name is just outside the top 10, but when you add in all the Kates and Katelyns, it’s a contender for one of the top spots. Catherine, Katherine and Kathryn are all in the top 100 names over the last 100 years in the US, and when you consider all forms of Catherine, it’s number 2 over the last 100 years…so lots of Catherines/Kates in every age bracket.

[boyandgirl]

Hmmm, I can see how this can be confusing since you didn’t have much time to decide. Personally, I absolutely love [name]Catherine[/name]. I also love [name]Kate[/name]. I think there are several little [name]Kate[/name]'s running around, but I love it anyway. I also love your other choices as well. I especially love [name]Caroline[/name] [name]Anne[/name]. All of these are classics and will never be out of style. Basically, you can’t go wrong with any of these.

Is your husband absolutely set on [name]Catherine[/name]? If so, I would tend toward keeping it since it is so beautiful. However, both parents need to love the name. If you are not crazy about it, I would go with [name]Caroline[/name]. Good luck!

[sachiko]

It IS a wonderful name, with so many lovely nicknames.

I have had major baby naming regret myself. With one of the times, I did change the baby’s name when she was 3 months old, and felt much better. The key thing for me then was asking a neutral third party I respected to pick a name FOR me when I was so burned out on names I couldn’t even comment on my own name. (I picked my grandmother, who performed superbly and sensibly)

the other time I had baby name regret, I just soldiered through, and by the time the baby was a year old, I associated the name with the baby so much that changing the name was impossible. It is a very difficult, unusual, ethnic name, and some people still says stuff about it–the most recent time a few weeks ago, when my [name]MIL[/name] made fun of it!–and that caused a few twinges, but I’m still solid.

however, I doubt anyone would [name]EVER[/name] question your choice of [name]Catherine[/name], except for your own self. It’s a consummate classic that never strikes the wrong note.

I am expecting and care very much about honoring my husband’s naming wishes and tastes, which diverge hugely from mine. I keep fretting about putting his preferred name in the middle, but the way he explained it to me was this: “You’re the one who cares the most about the name, so you’re the unhappiest if it’s not just right, and the happiest if it is.”

I don’t know how the dynamic works in your marriage, so I am not asking this rhetorically or in a leading way: [name]How[/name] much would it bother your husband to have his preferred name in the middle name spot?

There IS the option of calling her by her middle name. All you have to do is make the decision to do it, and nurses will note that on charts, schools will note it in their forms, no biggie. My husband has gone by his middle name all his life. It’s a slight hassle, but then you don’t have to go and formally change the name.

About other people using your names: the names you love are wonderful classics and not underused. You will likely run into a lot of other people with those names, including children. [name]Just[/name] see this as evidence of how classy you really are I name my now 13-month-old [name]Cora[/name], and when she was 3 weeks old heard about another baby [name]Cora[/name] in my extended family. At first I was indignant–hello, that’s OUR name–but later just tried to take it as a compliment.

I remember naming our first daughter and having a TERRIBLE time because what if she was the only girl I’d ever name?!? Yeah, that can be hard. What I finally did was make a list of names and put them in order of preference.

If you do decide to change her name, don’t let potential embarrassment stop you. You KNOW it bothers you now, you don’t know if the embarrassing situation will happen. So cross that little bridge if and when you come to it. 'Sides, you’re the mom. What you think matters more.

The most important thing is that you get this solved, either by seeing the good in your great current name choice, or in going forward with another great name choice, so that YOU are happy and can focus on enjoying your daughter! Possible embarrassment is momentary and once several people say, “Um, what was her name again?” you can just reintroduce her…with the different name, this time.

[lineska]

[name]Catherine[/name] is beautiful and I kind of love how you passed [name]Catherine[/name] [name]Street[/name]. It’s such a sweet and simple story.

The connection to her birth grandmother could be a really sweet too, although if the family has chosen to have no contact, it could feel a little tricky when she’s a child, maybe not one you want to explain until she’s older, but that’s obviously dependent on how the situation has played out.

I dont think [name]Catherine[/name] is too complicated to spell, you’ll get “With a C or a K?” a lot. [name]Caroline[/name] doesn’t fix that, I’m a [name]Caroline[/name] and constantly answering “Was it [name]Caroline[/name] or [name]Carolyn[/name]?” Once you confirm, yes, with a C, I don’t think you’ll have trouble. [name]Claire[/name], easy as it seems, comes with the same questions.

If your husband loves it more than your other names, I’d sit with [name]Catherine[/name] [name]Amelia[/name]. [name]Amelia[/name] (and [name]Claire[/name]) is much more popular than [name]Catherine[/name] at the moment, so it is distinctive up front in my opinion. All your names are winners actually, so I’d advise just continuing to chat with your husband for the time being and see if the name you chose fits your new daughter. Congrats on your new addition, what an amazing surprise!

[sachiko]

OH, and, one more thing–I have had Total [name]Baby[/name] Name Freakout before. I have finally realized the root source of the anxiety, the self-doubt, the frantic fruitless searching, the gathering of many names, the discarding of all, the fear of discarding any…

if you approach this with a scarcity mentality, that you have to pick the most perfect name ever, NOW, and this may be your only chance, ever ever, to pick a name…

well, you are bound to fail. And feel terrible. And feel cheated.

I know; I’ve done it to myself before. I have so been there.

Pardon my bossy advice, but I’ve found for me that if I approach baby names with an abundance mentality–where I say to myself, “Oh, I love looking at baby names, and here’s a chance to pick one and use it!” then I feel blessed to have a chance to pick a name for a baby. Because, what a blessing, a baby!

Those other names you love, that you fear someone else will use–you [name]WILL[/name] be okay. Because either you will have the chance to use them, one way or another; or you’ll sort of…grow past those names, until you’ll read someone else’s kid’s birth or adoption announcement and smile that they used that name you like, isn’t it a nice one.

I hope I don’t sound smarmy or smug. I used to feel like I needed to have children very quickly so as to snap up the names I felt were MINE, to the point my husband threatened to get a huge tank of goldfish that I could get my naming yayas out on. So far I’ve found that it’s a lot easier for me to find the right name, right now, for the right kid, if I can let go of all the other names that aren’t as right, or aren’t for me, right now. It’s hard to let go of those things, because we use those names to identify ourselves and pour hopes into them, but if you don’t you will continue being tied up in knots.

HTH!

[jroflo]

Thank you all for your words of wisdom! sachiko, your second post really helped me clarify what’s bothering me so much…not the name we’ve chosen (which is timeless and lovely) but all the names we didn’t use or might be keeping ourselves from using in the future. [name]Truth[/name] be told, even if we had been given months to think of a name for a specific child, I very well could have found myself in a similar predicament…liking the name we’d chosen, but second-guessing myself due to all the names I wasn’t able to use. What insightful commentary!

I also like the suggestions to focus on whether the name fits THIS child, and I think it does. I remember at the hospital thinking how small she was, and being drawn to single-syllable names or nicknames because all the longer ones seemed too big for her.

As far as the dynamic in my marriage goes…we’re both very accommodating, and neither of us wanted to feel like we had dictated the name. That’s why I didn’t nail down combos beforehand, and I think that’s why my husband latched onto [name]Catherine[/name]/[name]Kate[/name] when I said that I liked it, too…it was something we both agreed was a great name. Fortunately, our taste in names is very similar…we both adore classic names, I just tend to prefer names I didn’t grow up hearing a lot (even if they’re gaining popularity at the moment) whereas my husband tends to like the very most common names due to their sense of history. I have always been kind of obsessed with names (ie. I used baby name books to name my dolls as a child), so I think names are way more important to me. In retrospect, I think my initial idea would have worked best for mutual happiness (one of my top picks as a first name, one of his as a middle name).

I did talk to my husband about my concerns about the name we had chosen about a week after she was born (now she’s just over two weeks old). Unfortunately, the conversation took place before bed when we were both exhausted, and he was obviously hurt. I think he was incredulous that I could be worried about something like a name after all we had to go through to welcome our daughter into our family…whereas to me, that made her name even more important (that should give you an idea about his view of names vs. mine). He did want to resolve the issue though, and was willing to change her name if it would make me feel better. I dismissed it for the moment, but I’ve still been having doubts about her name which is why I’m posting here. I don’t want to bring it up again until I have some idea about how I’d like to proceed.

My other issue is that [name]Kate[/name]/[name]Katherine[/name]/[name]Katie[/name]/[name]Katelyn[/name] just seems to be everywhere to me at the moment, but that may be because I’m looking. (It sounds like that happens to a lot of people–a name feels fresh and new, then they use it, and all of the sudden it seems quite common.) None of my favorite names are original or rare, but I think you all know what it means for a name to feel fresh or tired. I guess [name]Catherine[/name] has found favor consistently enough to never be tired. I think the various Katelyns and Katies are throwing me off, though…when I associate [name]Kate[/name] with [name]Catherine[/name], I think it’s classic and classy. When I see it coming from a given name like [name]Kaitlin[/name]/[name]Caitlyn[/name]/[name]Caitlin[/name]/[name]Katelynn[/name]/[name]Katie[/name], it just seems overdone for some reason. I had considered the popularity of [name]Katherine[/name]/[name]Catherine[/name]/[name]Kathryn[/name] and [name]Kate[/name], but it didn’t occur to me that her name would also be associated with all those other names.

Keep responding…I’d love to get as much insight as possible before deciding how to proceed.

[sachiko]

I think you’re being very sensible and kind about this. I am remembering how I acted when was considering changing my daughter’s name and I…um…wasn’t so mature.

[name]Kate[/name] is everywhere, and has been so, but it’s always welcome–it’s very much the opposite of the usual tryndee names out there where you kind of sigh and ask the parents, okay, how do you spell your version of this overused fluff name?

[name]Catherine[/name] is very solid.

[name]How[/name] do you feel about less orthodox nicknames for [name]Catherine[/name]? You mentioned Katydid (which I lurve); [name]Cat[/name]; [name]Kitty[/name]; [name]Kit[/name] (if you’re less feline-inclined)–I’m a very liberal nicknamer, myself, if I had a [name]Catherine[/name] and wanted to set her apart from the other Kates, I would easily go as far as [name]Cass[/name], or further, if needed.

You can tap [name]Amelia[/name] for everyday nickname names, too, there are SO many you can wring from that lovely classic! All the [name]Amy[/name]/Amai’s, the [name]Ella[/name]'s, the [name]Millie[/name]/[name]Milla[/name]'s, [name]Lia[/name]…heck, you could do like a friend of mine did with her daughter, and combine first and middle. You could get [name]Cam[/name] or [name]Cammie[/name] out of it.

I’m making all these unasked for name suggestions because if it were me, using a name my husband is sure he likes might outweigh, to me, a decision to change to a name I might like better. Finding a compromise name you could use for everyday and use [name]Catherine[/name] for official stuff may help you get past this.

And you can also remind yourself of what a great name [name]Catherine[/name] is, what a great baby she is, great guy your hubby is–all this can help you with your name.

And if you’re in [name]Baby[/name] Name Crazy [name]Land[/name], then every name with have a drawback. When I was trying to decide what to change my daughter’s name TO, once I’d made the decision to change her name, then actually the anxiety increased–because here I was, making my husband change her name, the name we’d agreed so, so now the heat was on to pick the super perfect awesomest name every, because I needed to justify the trouble we were going to. It seemed silly to change from one name to another, unless I KNEW that other name was the perfect one.

And obviously there wasn’t a name that I knew was “the perfect one”, because if there had been, I would have stuck to it from the beginning and wouldn’t have been in the this-name-is-not-right pickle to begin with.

(I understood my frame of mind better later when we bought our first house and I realized that it was our house–all the great things, and all the warts. And it meant none of the other houses were ever going to be our house. The dreaming was over, the work needed to begin. I think I’ve never really been keen on reality or commitment :D)

For me, every time I thought about a “better” name I thought, Oh, no, will my husband like it as much? And imagined picking it, and then always regretting not going with the one my husband wanted.

Can’t win for losing.

um…this may not be very comforting…oops. I’m sorry, I really wanted to be comforting!

I totally agree with you on how you view the importance of her name. If I’d gone through all that, I would want to acknowledge the importance of it with a grandly chosen name, especially since the name is one of the very very few things we can have complete control over. That control feels so GOOD in all the new-parenting tumult since everything else is so NOT in control.

And my husband would totally react like yours–“This was already hard enough; now you want to make it harder with worrying about the name? I thought we had that settled!”

I can actually HEAR him saying it, right now, in my head.

[jroflo]

sachiko, for pet names, I love Katydid, [name]Kit[/name] [name]Kat[/name], [name]Kit[/name], [name]Kat[/name], and such, but I don’t think I’d be a fan of her using one of those as her chosen nickname. I do love [name]Kate[/name], but all the Katies and Caitlins out there are making me want to look elsewhere. For [name]Amelia[/name], I really like [name]Mia[/name], but that’s a pretty common standalone name, so I’m not sure that would be any less common than [name]Kate[/name] (though it would be another nice pet name). [name]Amy[/name] is also nice. I actually suggested [name]Amelia[/name] [name]Catherine[/name] when we were naming her (with the nickname [name]Amy[/name] [name]Kate[/name]), but like I said, my husband didn’t like the [name]Amelia[/name] [name]Bedelia[/name] association with using [name]Amelia[/name] as her first name. I like your idea of looking at some combo of the two names…[name]Cammie[/name] is sweet, or even [name]Camelia[/name], haha. I’m big on pet names, so at home she’ll have 50 names for sure. I guess we can just use all the nicknames we like and see what she ends up preferring. Your thoughts do make me feel better about the versatility of the name, though. I had hoped to avoid using a middle name or a nickname based off the middle name, but that may be what we end up doing. (My husband goes by a nickname of his middle name, and it’s so confusing sometimes!) And who knows, [name]Kate[/name] may prefer plain old [name]Catherine[/name], and that would be fine by me I suppose.

You are right about [name]Baby[/name] Name Crazy [name]Land[/name]…every name has good aspects and bad aspects. Researching [name]Catherine[/name] after we chose it is what really made me have regrets…I realized that the name was more common than I thought when I added the numbers for [name]Catherine[/name]/[name]Katherine[/name]/[name]Kathryn[/name], and worse when I realized that I’d need to include all the Katies and Katelyns when considering [name]Kate[/name]. I still love the name and really haven’t seen anything that would deter me from using it, other than how common it is. (I’m a [name]Jennifer[/name] born in the 80s, so I know the good aspects and bad aspects of having a common name.) I also revisited my other top name picks and compared them to [name]Catherine[/name], and of course all of them seemed better to me after the name had already been given than they would have beforehand. On this side of things, [name]Caroline[/name] seems perfect to me, and it makes me sad because it’s too close to [name]Catherine[/name] to use it for a sibling. That being said, I’m sure my husband prefers [name]Catherine[/name]. : (

The husband thing does make naming decisions hard. I love my husband, and I know we both want to make each other happy with everything, including names. It’s just difficult, because while our tastes are similar, it seems like it’s hard for us to match up on something we both really love. Like you, though, I’m sure I’d regret using a name if I knew my husband didn’t love it, too.

I love the house comparison. So true. I’ve dreamed for so long about naming my first child, especially my first girl, and now that it’s been done, I’m kind of sad. All those years of dreaming and planning and considering, and now I have a child with a name. It’s done. No more planning or dreaming with wide open possibilities. Having my daughter is wonderful, whatever her name is, and my name worries don’t change that. I only discuss the name issues here because that’s what this site is all about. (Lest you think I’m not enjoying my new addition.) : )

I think you’re right about the control thing, too. The adoption process was so not in our control, and so unpredictable. Thinking about names was good for me, because it was something I could choose. I think that’s one of the reasons I get nervous about the name [name]Catherine[/name]…I hate some of the nicknames ([name]Cathy[/name], for instance). When I brought up my name regret to my husband, he said, “She’ll go by whatever she wants to one day, and that’s not your decision.” That’s true. But I could have named her [name]Claire[/name], which has a few pet names but not really any genuine nicknames, or another name that only has nicknames I love. (That was not the right thing for him to say to me at that moment, haha.) As a parent, it is my right to choose my child’s name…she’ll do what she wants with it later, within the bounds I set with the names I gave her, or by breaking the boundaries and changing her name.

Oh, husbands. They make life wonderful, but they also make life complicated sometimes!

[svea]

I don’t really have anything else to say than the fact that I think [name]Catherine[/name] is a great, classic name and I do think it’ll serve your daughter well. For me, [name]Catherine[/name] is THE definition of being classy. It’s such a versatile name that suits any name. I even love [name]Cathy[/name]! The most important question for you, is to sort out if it is the name or the situation that you have issues with. I promise you’ll all be OK! Best of luck and congratulations on your baby girl!

[thetxbelle]

I would use [name]Catherine[/name] as a fn or mn, I’m adopted and when you mentioned the connection to her family and the street you passed it really touched my heart, a connection like that would mean a lot to me and I would be very appreciative to my parents if they did something like that for me.

[elisabeth_rae]

I understand your regret! I do prefer both [name]Caroline[/name] and [name]Claire[/name] to [name]Catherine[/name]/[name]Katherine[/name]/[name]Kate[/name]. I have to say, the idea of you naming your daughter after [name]Clair[/name] Huxtable would never, ever have occured to me. I don’t think there’s any problem with naming her [name]Claire[/name]. Also, if your husband liked [name]Caroline[/name], maybe you should go with that? If you truly are regrettign the name and don’t think it fits this child, it’s not too late to change it!

[biglyla]

Congratulations on your adoption! [name]Catherine[/name] is a beautiful name. I wouldn’t compare it to [name]Caitlyn[/name] although I know they share the same nicknames. [name]Catherine[/name] is solid and traditional with a lot of history.

[thuja]

Although it’s true that many girls and women have been named [name]Catherine[/name], I don’t think it’s even in the top hundred this year or last. According to Nameberry stats, both [name]Cora[/name] and [name]Wren[/name] were given to more baby girls in 2011 than was [name]Catherine[/name]. This really surprised me. [name]Amelia[/name] is #1 in the UK right now, so I think there will be lots more little Amelias in and about than there will be Catherines.

[name]Catherine[/name] is one of my all time favorite names, as is [name]Kate[/name]. They are both music to my ears. I do also love [name]Caroline[/name] and [name]Claire[/name], but the funny thing is that if you do change it, you might find yourself pining for [name]Catherine[/name]. (I’ve really enjoyed reading Sachiko’s sage advice).

[author_in_writing]

I think if you do decide to keep her name as [name]Catherine[/name] [name]Amelia[/name], then she has a classic name with tons of potential for nicknames and a great family reference. But if you decide you’d rather choose something else…the first two names I came up with were [name]Catalina[/name] (reminds me of [name]Caroline[/name] and [name]Catherine[/name]) and [name]Camellia[/name] (a legit name that appears a mix of both [name]Catherine[/name] and [name]Amelia[/name] but it’s actually a flower).

[kyemsma]

I love the name [name]Catherine[/name] - it is my daugter’s middle name. That being said, if you don’t love it, despite her wonderful history, I would leave it as [name]Catherine[/name] [name]Amelia[/name], but call her [name]Amelia[/name]. Or you could switch it around to [name]Amelia[/name] [name]Catherine[/name], as long as your husband is on board with [name]Amelia[/name] being her first name. Either way, both names are beautiful and very historical.
I work in local schools, and have met many Kates, Katies, etc. But I have only met one [name]Catherine[/name] who goes by [name]Catherine[/name] only, which I really like!

[Pansy]

[name]Just[/name] wanted to chime in with everyone else and say that [name]Catherine[/name] is a great, classic choice. I’m pregnant with a girl right now and we have it on our list. It’s just so strong and elegant and I love it.

As for worrying about [name]Catherine[/name] being too common, I’d just like to say that as someone who’s worked with kids for years, I can tell you that in this age of people trying to be “creative” and “unique” with their naming choices, the kids whose names actually stand out are those with the more classic names. When you have a classroom of kids with names like [name]Destinee[/name], [name]Bryleigh[/name] and [name]Jaidyn[/name], names like [name]Catherine[/name] are a breath of fresh air. Also, they’re easy to remember and spell.

In regards to the nickname thing, there are two common nicknames for my full name. I go by one and the other one, I absolutely detest. The vast majority of the time, people only call me by the name I introduce myself as (either my full name or my nickname). In the instances where someone called me by the nickname I don’t care for, I simply just corrected them and they never did it again. If someone calls your daughter [name]Cathy[/name] (which I believe is the nickname you said you disliked) all you have to do is say, “We call her [name]Kate[/name]. Not really a [name]Cathy[/name] fan.”

[elisabeth_rae]

I just wanted to follow up - I feel like everyone has supported the name [name]Catherine[/name] and brought up how beautiful and classic it is, which is true. But you also have to think about how you feel about the name and if you and your husband think it fits your daughter. That’s what’s most important!

[sachiko]

Chiming in here just to add my support. You’re going about this thoughtfully and with consideration for your husband–you will make the right choice.

[taz]

I don’t think the name is confusing spelling-wise. It’s [name]Catherine[/name] with a C. [name]Don[/name]'t forget that [name]Amelia[/name] can be [name]Emelia[/name] and [name]Claire[/name] can be [name]Clare[/name]…these days I’m sure it can be [name]Klayre[/name] as well!

I named my daughter [name]Leonie[/name]…now [name]Lana[/name], [name]Ramona[/name], [name]Leo[/name], [name]Lev[/name], [name]Levi[/name], [name]Naomi[/name]…so so many names on my list are gone. I think that’s just how it goes. Use a name and you have to throw a dozen favorites out the window! I assume that when it’s time for baby #2 I will be drawn to a new list of names. I never dreamed of [name]Leonie[/name] until talking names with my husband. The names I loved growing up are very popular now ir just nms.

I think [name]Catherine[/name] is classic & there’s nothing wrong with not swooning over the name. Let this one be your husband’s pick. Or call her [name]Camelia[/name] or some totally unexpected nickname.

[sachiko]

[name]True[/name]; if this is your husband’s pick, you can look forward to taking more of the reins next time.

I kept grabbing the reins from my husband about naming girls with each daughter. We’ve name 4 daughters together, and…I really feel guilty! I regret I didn’t let him have his wish sooner. He adores [name]Rachel[/name], which I’ve never been as keen on, and our oldest daughter would have made a perfect [name]Rachel[/name].

In fact, without us even telling her about her naming history, she spontaneously announced she loves the name [name]Rachel[/name], wishes she were named [name]Rachel[/name], and whenever we’re expecting another lobbies HARD to use [name]Rachel[/name] on the next one.

I’ve even suggested to her we replace her name with [name]Rachel[/name], or add it to her existing names (we named her [name]Bronwen[/name]) and she’s considered it.

I swear, sometimes the cosmos wants certain people to have certain names. It would have been such a neat bonding thing for my daughter and my husband for her to have his favorite name. They’re very close anyway, but it’s an added dimension that would have been there, if not for my insistence on choosing a different name.

That’s actually my issue ATM, trying to squelch my constant baby name desires and dreams so I can compromise on a name that makes my husband happy. He’s a great dad, but what a neat thing to add to the mix, a child to carry a name their own father had a hand in choosing. I just regret it took me so long to see that.

But…I’m not sure if I would still be okay with giving [name]Rachel[/name] as a first name. sigh

you can see why your predicament really resonates with me!