[name_m]Alexander[/name_m] is exactly what I’m wondering about too We just named our little guy [name_m]Aleksander[/name_m] [name_u]Blaise[/name_u] intending to call him [name_u]Blaise[/name_u], but it’s not fully sticking for some reason. I love [name_m]Aleksander[/name_m] in full, but I’m afraid he’ll just become [name_u]Alex[/name_u] (I don’t mind the name, I just don’t love it like I do the full name).
I wonder what’s so different about Alexander/Alexandra? They don’t have more syllables than names like [name_f]Olivia[/name_f], [name_f]Elizabeth[/name_f], [name_m]Jeremiah[/name_m], etc., I suppose [name_u]Alex[/name_u] is so commonly used that it’s just so easy for people to differ to that.
This is exactly what I’m wondering and a bit nervous about… could we realistically pull off using [name_m]Aleksander[/name_m] in full or will he forever be automatically called Alex/Aleks? Seems like it would be an uphill battle most of the time.
If nicknames are pretty hard to avoid for certain names (ie, [name_m]Alexander[/name_m], [name_u]Benjamin[/name_u], Catherine), how challenging would it realistically be to use a more unexpected nickname?
On Nameberry, we love to suggest off-the-beaten-path nicknames, but in the real world, how often are they regularly followed?
Examples such as:
[name_u]Sasha[/name_u] or [name_u]Sandy[/name_u] for [name_m]Alexander[/name_m]
[name_u]Wren[/name_u] for [name_f]Catherine[/name_f]
Bash for [name_m]Sebastian[/name_m]
[name_m]Cole[/name_m] for [name_m]Nicholas[/name_m]
[name_f]Nell[/name_f] for [name_f]Eleanor[/name_f]
I do know one Aleksander who goes by Sasha! I think because he introduces himself as Sasha people just call him that instead. But no one calls him by his full name either because he goes exclusively by Sasha
I think it depends on how often you’d plan on using that nickname; if you’re using an unexpected nickname pretty regularly I think it would stick!
Part of my stance on nicknames is that whatever you’re going for, you have to get out of the gate with it early on - eg if you had an [name_f]Isabella[/name_f] and wanted to go with [name_f]Bella[/name_f] rather than [name_u]Izzy[/name_u], use it with everyone she meets from day one and get it established.
This is true of ‘stretchier’ nicknames as well - the better established they are early on, the more they’ll stick. I agree with @wishmay - in my experience people with unconventional nicknames use them at least as much as their full name, if not exclusively instead of it.
(It also depends slightly on location and social circle tbh - I moved a lot as a child and the nicknaming culture varied a lot between regions and schools. At some it would just be the ‘obvious’ short forms of long names like [name_m]Alexander[/name_m] nn [name_u]Alex[/name_u] and [name_f]Catherine[/name_f] nn Cath, but when I went to boarding school it was more inventive and people used nicknames much more than ‘real’ names, even the teachers.)
[name_f]Edit[/name_f]: sorry this is such an essay!! I just find the subject so interesting
You’re 100% right that it needs to be used out of the gate and pretty close to exclusively. That’s what we’ve been struggling with - trying to figure out what “everyday” name we want to use, which led to this discussion On the one hand, we like the full name a lot, but we’re afraid he’ll forever become Alex. On the other hand, we can’t decide on a go-to nickname that we really love, or at least love more than the full name, but we know we love the more unusual nicknames more than the go-to nickname. So here we are… we sort of want to have our cake and eat it too… get to use the full name, Aleksander, regularly but we’d prefer he goes by Sandy or Sasha (or maybe Aleksey) rather than Alex.
We should probably just call him by his middle name, Blaise, and not worry about nicknames at all
That’s where I’m stuck… we’d like to call him both by an unexpected nickname AND his full name! Which I think may be an impossible dilemma in the real world
Honestly as long as you’ve got one of the nicknames established, he’ll likely feel that that is the ‘right’ one and correct anyone who tries to use Alex instead. Aleksey is cool although might still get shortened to Alex by some! Sasha and Sandy are both really great options and I also really like Blaise - which is fairly unnicknameable.
In my experience parents often use a full name even when there’s an established nickname so I don’t think it’s out of the realms of possibility that you could get to use a bit of both
When I was a kid in the 60’s and 70’s, nicknames were rampant. Today’s Great Uncle [name_m]Jimmy[/name_m] and [name_u]Freddie[/name_u]!
Then when I taught NO nicknames were allowed ever.
I’d like to see us get to some nicknames, some not, but I think the child’s peers, lovers, spouses, colleagues, friends determine nicknames far, far more than parents.
And of course now we have children named just [name_m]Jimmy[/name_m] or just [name_f]Dottie[/name_f].
Personally, I love long names and maybe they get nicknamed and maybe they don’t. Total crap shoot.
People have often shortened my name as an endearment, but I don’t exactly think of that as a nn.
[name_f]My[/name_f] name is [name_f]Margaret[/name_f]. [name_f]My[/name_f] name, most of the time, automatically gets nicknamed to the default [name_f]Maggie[/name_f], even if I tell everyone that it’s just [name_f]Margaret[/name_f], exclusively by older people.
I am not the hugest fan of nicknames. I like thinking of them, but not using them. (Some exceptions: [name_f]Samantha[/name_f], [name_f]Penelope[/name_f], [name_m]Nicholas[/name_m], and Alexander/Alexandra and/or if I’m told a nickname by the person themselves)
[name_m]Just[/name_m] to add one more piece of anecdotal evidence here, hah!
I have met people who go by the full name of
[name_m]Nicholas[/name_m]
[name_f]Alexandra[/name_f]
[name_f]Elizabeth[/name_f]
[name_f]Katherine[/name_f]
[name_f]Samantha[/name_f]
[name_m]Jonathan[/name_m]
[name_m]Andrew[/name_m]
[name_f]Eleanor[/name_f]
multiple such people, in some cases!
And I know one young [name_m]Alexander[/name_m], no nickname.
I think full long names are definitely coming back! [name_u]Prince[/name_u] [name_u]William[/name_u] doesn’t go by Will…King [name_u]Charles[/name_u] doesn’t go by Charlie…just two very prominent examples.
One other thing that occurs to me – it would be funny to use a short, one-syllable name just to avoid the possibility of nicknames, when a long name might be preferred. It would be, essentially, choosing/guaranteeing a short name, vs. giving a long name and risking a short one is adopted!
I also wanted to add that if people want to find a nickname, they will find a nickname; there’s no escaping it some of my friends have the least nicknamable names ever —no intuitive nicknames, one syllable, and short. that hasn’t stopped anyone
I think you’re fine with Aleksander nn Sasha/Sandy though. Even though it might not be the most common nickname people would catch on Of course his friends might end up calling him something else (each of my friends has a different nickname for me) but I don’t think that’s avoidable no matter what full name someone has!
I think offbeat nicknames might be adhered to even better than standard ones. I had a friend named Michael who didn’t like the nicknames people gave him in high school, so he chose Mick for himself in college. Everyone who knew him as Mick called him that and never tried other nicknames.
I have a long name and have experience with being automatically nicknamed and trying to use an offbeat nickname.
For offbeat nicknames to work, you have to introduce yourself as that name and not your long name.
For long names to be used it takes work. Almost everyone uses my long name now which comes from me using it exclusively, I guess. [name_u]New[/name_u] people might say “oh, do you go by nickname?” and I just say no. But I knew an [name_m]Alexander[/name_m] who tried to be exclusively [name_m]Alexander[/name_m] and it just wouldn’t happen!
I think nicknames are to some degree inevitable. [name_f]My[/name_f] siblings and I all have short, really non-nicknamey names. [name_m]Bryan[/name_m], C@ity, Br@yton, L3xi. I get called Bry sometimes, and family/close friends will sometimes shorten my siblings’ names to [name_u]Kay[/name_u], [name_u]Bray[/name_u], or [name_u]Lex[/name_u]. Not really in a way that they think we want to be referred to by these nicknames, but more for a quick/convenient/affectionate way to call someone. So if your name is [name_m]Alexander[/name_m] or [name_m]Samuel[/name_m], you will be called that at some point in your life. However, I don’t think that’s inevitable that these nicknames will be the primary way you are referred to throughout your day-to-day life. It’s really up to the person to enforce or not enforce this. I have known people with longer names that introduce themselves as such, or go by their middle names, etc. It’s a simple “Oh, I don’t go by x” and then their name in my mind becomes their full name rather than their nickname, if that makes sense?
I agree with this. There is going to be someone somewhere who is going to nickname your child. If your child doesn’t like it, they will correct them, but if they do, at that point it’s your child’s choice what they want to be called.
So my personal opinion is if you don’t like the names natural/ intuitive nickname I wouldn’t use it.
HOWEVER I think if you provide an alternate nickname (that you use 95% of the time) then the unwanted nickname is more likely to be avoided. For example Nicholas who goes by Cole 95% of the time and introduces himself as Cole will not likely be called Nick, becuase they knew him first as Cole, not Nicholas. (But again this is dependent on the child liking and using this nickname)
Our family has a long tradition of using nicknames. I hardly ever go by my formal name, neither do my parents or grandparents. People who meet us arent usually told our legal name until we know them better, so even though I go by a more unusual nickname I have rarely ever been called the more ‘traditional’ nickname for my name because they know me first by my nickname. Hope that makes some sense!
We just named our little guy [name_m]Aleksander[/name_m] [name_u]Blaise[/name_u] intending to call him [name_u]Blaise[/name_u], but it’s not fully sticking for some reason. I love [name_m]Aleksander[/name_m] in full, but I’m afraid he’ll just become [name_u]Alex[/name_u] (I don’t mind the name, I just don’t love it like I do the full name).
On the one hand, we like the full name a lot, but we’re afraid he’ll forever become Alex. On the other hand, we can’t decide on a go-to nickname that we really love, or at least love more than the full name, but we know we love the more unusual nicknames more than the go-to nickname. So here we are… we sort of want to have our cake and eat it too… get to use the full name, Aleksander, regularly but we’d prefer he goes by Sandy or Sasha (or maybe Aleksey) rather than Alex.
some of my friends have the least nicknamable names ever —no intuitive nicknames, one syllable, and short. that hasn’t stopped anyone