Is anyone else like this? I’m an enthusiastic name nerd; I love names, I like to talk about them, to give opinions and suggestions on names… But when it comes to my own names I’m very shy? Closed? Possessive? I don’t talk about my own top favourite names (I have quite an unusual style) with anyone, not even my name obsessed family, really. It’s kind of like I’m scared people will steal my names, or ruin them for me… There’s a certain top 15 or 20 of my names for each gender I mostly avoid mentioning. Anyways, I’m wondering, is there anyone else out there like this??
I don’t talk about my favorites either. It’s mostly because I would feel awkward starting a conversation about my favorite names with someone who isn’t interested.
I would be the same way if I wasn’t a teenager, because if you’re considering having children, someone may take your favorite names.
I’m protective, but for a different reason. I’m an observer (in my life, and online too… hence why I’ve been here so long and have such a low postcount lol), I’m a researcher, and I’m pretty intent on doing scaffolding work, and I also appreciate sentimentality. My life experiences have really impacted how I see names.
Most of my friends aren’t unbiased researchers to the same degree about most things, and especially not with names. I have a few names I’ve mentioned but never opened names up as a discussion. I feel like my friends’ objectivity about names is lacking, and subjectively, we just differ in terms of style. I don’t care about their opinions, if I can be totally honest. I feel like I’ve put in my work to pick my favourites, and it has actually been work. My name list is like a research paper. My list is essentially my personal name ethnography, it isn’t right or wrong, it just is. I feel like it isn’t really “fair” to my favourite names to be critiqued by people who don’t “get” them the way they’re supposed to be understood. I do open my favourites up for discussion on forums sometimes, but even then, I don’t really care what people say. I’ve done my research, and they’re not all going to be used (plus, my SO could very easily hate all my loves when the time comes to have kids, haha). I hate being told I’m “wrong” for things that are subjective, though, and that’s how people giving me unsolicited (negative) opinions feels, so I just don’t give them the chance.
I’m never worried about people stealing my favourites. I feel like I have unconventional favourites that won’t work for most people I know anyway, and then if someone does decide to name their son [name_m]Edmund[/name_m] after hearing me talk about it, they’d better be reason for me to announce the birth of my [name_m]Edmund[/name_m] when I have a son 
Wow, how beautifully put! I found that quite moving.
I was showing my mum my Nameberry list - all are names that appeal to me in some way, and 9/10 of them I would certainly never use. She mentioned that she liked a name and then I told her it was on my list of names I WOULD use. Then a month later, I mentioned the name and she said she “didn’t mind it” - and I was disappointed and started doubting my choice. So I’m not sure I’ll tell her any more names! Her grandkids’ names will just be a surprise.
[name_f]Naomi[/name_f], I’m glad my reply came across okay… I was kind of afraid of of coming across as a jerk, lol.
It’s kind of the same as going on pinterest. I pin lots of clothes, and then my commentary is something like “This is gorgeous, but it would never work in my life”. No harm done… I don’t see why loving seemingly impractical names is a bad thing. There’s a time and a place.
Yep. I was like that when I first got here. It took me months to get over ‘name shyness’ and add my favourite names to my signature and even longer before I started threads about them.
I’m like that in real life but not online. I once told my best friend my favorite name (at the time) and she looked at me like I was crazy. So lesson learned, never again! Our childrens’ names will be surprises to all of the “real-life” friends and family. Plus, I really wouldn’t want anyone I know to use our names. However, I wouldn’t care if a [name_u]Berry[/name_u] used the same name since probably none of them live in my city. Plus, I don’t really care all that much about their opinions unless they point out something very striking that I didn’t know about otherwise. Well, it is nice if a name is generally liked, but not the very most important quality. It’s probably a personality type thing; I care deeply about few people but the opinions of those few people matter (and I would probably be swayed by if they found out our names and gave negative feedback)…the upside being that I’m one of those “I’m rubber you’re glue…” people towards most people.
@lucia, I am the same way, and you phrased it perfectly.
Also, sometimes I am surprised when a poster starts a thread asking for opinions on a name that has taken he or she months to settle on with their partner, and they mention how in love with it they are. Months. I’m more of a “quit while I’m ahead” person! But, it’s just surprising to me, not wrong, and I am glad everyone is different so that the site isn’t stagnant.
Edited for privacy.
That’s definitely true saracita. I hadn’t thought about a lot of that. I am probably thinking more about my own situation where we’ve chosen an easy to say and spell name that is not too “out there,” top 200, is recognizable and fairly normal, but not boring. It sounds good with the last name, no weird initials, etc. So at this point, I feel like it would be a difference of style only, and I’m not really concerned about that.
But, I am a teeny bit nervous about actually telling friends and family, so I might do a total 180 here soon 
I am definitely like that. I enjoy the different names and why people choose what they do, but I am weird about sharing my favorites. My girl names are probably a bit more accepted, not common but familiar, but our boys names are a bit more off the radar. We enjoy the names and sometimes I don’t feel like having to defend my choices when its just a difference in style.
I can be protective sometimes, because I’ve gotten bad reactions from my family. Like my cousin saying that [name_f]Amelie[/name_f] sounds like omelet. I do sometimes share my favorites with her, but only if she asks. And I always ask for berries opinions before I say I love a name, because I’m afraid that if I share names I like, that I’ll get negative reactions. I keep my name passion a secret from most of my family.
I don’t talk about my favorite names in real life with my friends and family, honestly they aren’t interested. I do have, a probably irrational, fear of my favorite names being stolen.
There are a couple name combinations that have a lot of personal significance to me that I do not post about on nameberry because 1) I’m not looking for feedback on them and 2) I would be disappointed if a stranger “stole” one of these name combos that hold meaning for me just because they liked the sound of it. I am very open about discussing all of my other favorites though!
clarification I meant for myself, I’m shy about my names on nameberry and in real life. I just don’t like to talk about them anywhere.