Another post with multiple warnings about having 3 kids got me thinking: Now that I’m pregnant with my 3rd, what do I need to know? Good and bad, what can I expect once this 3rd kid is running around with 2 older brothers?
On another similar note: what are your experiences with families with 3 kids? Does anything jump out as particularly troublesome or wonderful? We haven’t decided whether or not we’ll have more and we’ve got a while to figure that out, but I’d like to hear others’ opinions.
My only thought ever with 3 children is Middle Child Syndrome, I totally believe in it and have watched several middle children go right down the tubes in life. (Including my older brother!) Of course there is exceptions to the rule, but it’s enough to make me want an even number of kids!
I’m happy to tell you that in my family, three kids was a great thing. My sisters and I are really close…so close I’m aiming for three kids myself:) wishing you and your three kids lots of happiness!
I heard someone say recently that one child disrupts your life, the second seriously disturbs it and the third leaves it in shambles. After that, there is no further disruption! (This coming from a man with seven children.) I have two now, and it’s exhausting! Kudos to you for being on your third! I think that age difference will make a huge impact on all of this, but I tend to agree with Kibby. I’ve also seen many families suffer from middle child syndrome. It is very real! I don’t know how to prevent that, either. Sorry I don’t have anything positive off the top of my head! Best of luck to you! There are so many positives to having children, and I think that they will nearly always outweigh the negatives!
As for middle child syndrome it does happen, but isn’t the norm. And it’s not limited to three children, it can occur in any family that has more than two children (because the 4th of 6th is still a middle child), and it is more prevalent in family’s that have siblings of the same gender. i.e. 3 girls is harder than 1 boy and 2 girls, because then you have your 1st boy, your oldest girl, and your youngest girl, they all have a specific role in the family.
And there are positive’s to being the middle child as well. Middle children generally are more adept socially and are more independent because they don’t really on their parents like the youngest, nor do they feel the pressure to live up to expectations like the oldest. Middle children are also generally better at being the ‘peace-keeper’ and can more readily compromise and mediate. All valuable life skills.
So each position in the family has it’s pluses and minuses, and I don’t think that ‘middle child syndrome’ should be a major concern as long as you remember to continue to pay attention to your middle child and make them feel like they have an important place in the family, when a child no longer feels they have any influence in the home is generally when middle child syndrome occurs.
That being said, the biggest complaint that I’ve heard from parents with three children is you and you’re DH are now outnumbered but as long as you’re prepared for it, it’ll be hard but happy all the same 
best of luck!
I’m an only child with no kids yet, but my mother was the second of three and she is doing the best in comparison to my aunt and uncle (I’m not going to into it…). I’m not saying middle child syndrome isn’t a worry, but don’t think that every middle child ever is complete ruin. It completely depends on the child and it’s environment. Plus the ages of the elder two could make a big difference in the effect the third has on the family. If the older two are eight and nine, per say, and this one’s just being born it would be a much different experience than if the elder two are one and two.
I’m the first of three. My little sisters are 2 yrs and 7 yrs younger than me. Middle child syndrome did happen to my sister, but after finding talent in art, it disappeared. She’s doing great now. I guess it depends on child and the environment as ferntailwp said. I think my youngest sister is kind of isolated though. She is closer to a cousin who is 1 yr older and lives nearby. So, Sibling spacing is really important [name]IMO[/name]. After all, I don’t think having three kids is bad. Good luck.
I am the oldest of four children (2 years between each sibling) which I loved growing up and dont have any kids of my own yet but I did nanny for a family for nearly 3 years who initially had a 5 month old boy and 23 month old boy and later had a third baby boy when the kids were 2.5yrs and nearly 4 yrs old so I have seen and experienced the transition from a different perspective. I agree that sibling spacing is an important factor, I was caring for 3 boys under 5 in the home which was pretty crazy and very challenging but of course doable and very rewarding! [name]Both[/name] of the older kids had a bit of a hard time when the baby arrived (being naughty etc) but I think it was just a reaction of having the focus not be on them 24/7 but that got much better as time went on. I think that with families planning on having 3 children it is best to have pretty much equal age gaps so they all have a defined role and place in the family and nobody gets left out. In my case the first two boys were only 17 months apart and the best of friends, almost like twins sometimes but then there was a two and a half year gap between the second and third child so he gets a bit left out. They are 5.5yrs, 4yrs and 18 months now so hopefully when the baby gets a bit older he will be able to join in with his big brothers although if I were their parents I’d go for a fourth to even things out and give the baby a playmate
Good luck!
Thanks berries. My first 2 are almost 2 years apart and this one will be 2.5 years. We’ll know its gender in [name]Jan[/name]. I was the 5th of 6 kids and my husband was the 6th of 7, so we’ve both been middle children ourselves. As Alexa400 said, middle child doesn’t only happen with 3 kids, it’s anything over 2. That being said, it seems like it could creep up a little more with 3 kids. We haven’t decided if we’re done or not, but it’s nice to hear others’ experiences. Our first 2 are very close, so I have that worry that the 3rd will get left out, but I guess only time will tell.
Feeding off of ariannew, what gets extra hard with the 3rd? Is it trying to adjust to kids outnumbering the parents that is hard? If so what makes that hard, but not as hard as having a 4th or 5th? I’ve heard that before, so I’m just curious as to what I’ve gotten myself into. Thanks in advance for your comments.
I am not sure what middle child syndrome is but in my family my sister who was the second child was like [name]Cinderella[/name] (her choice) and always seemed to be trying to please everyone like a doormat. I guess she just didn’t have any confidence but now that she has grown kids and retired she has blossomed a lot and found her niche in life, but she didn’t really bond with me because of her insecurities.
PS I have just been reading a blog that states the happiest families are those with two girls, followed by a boy and a girl and then three boys.
I have three (although am now expecting my fourth). I have girl, boy, girl and I haven’t seen any evidence of the middle child syndrome.
I think it depends to a large extent on the age gaps, the sexes of the children, their personalities and the way in which the parents treat their individual children.
I’m the youngest of 3 with two older brothers. My oldest brother is four years older, the middle brother only two years older. Middle child syndrome didn’t happen, or at least I don’t consider it as such. [name]Both[/name] of my brothers had their lives basically fall apart when they graduated high school and experienced being ‘on their own’ the first time. Now the oldest is coast guard and the middle is back in school and working a steady job. Nothing too bad. It depends on the child, like others have said.
One thing I have to say, though, is if you’re expecting a girl, watch out. Being third after two boys and also a girl can be tough on a little girl. I would know. It was always so hard as a child when my brothers would go play together and I had no one. [name]Little[/name] boys don’t often want to play with their sisters, so just be sure that if you do have a daughter she never feels isolated.
I’m the mom of three, always wanted three, very happy with three. Mine are girl, boy, boy, with nearly seven years between the first two but less than four years between numbers two and three. Definitely no “middle child syndrome.” The only downside we’ve experienced to three is that it does tend to be two against one – for a long time it was the two younger boys against big sister, but these days it’s numbers one and two with the baby of the family left out. Obviously, this shifts depending on age and gender and life stage and interests. I do think my kids are all happy to be one of three.
Thanks for all of the comments. I know what happens will completely depend on the kids themselves and our parenting and numerous other circumstances, but it’s nice to have some insight from others. Thanks again.
I’m the eldest of 3. There is no middle child syndrome in my family at all. We all talk and have relationships with each other. I tend to get along better with the youngest, but the youngest and middle are always/often together and doing things.
I’m the only girl, and several years older, so that affects things.
I really don’t think it’s that much of an issue to have 3 kids. So long as you give them all enough love, support, and guidance, there should be no problem.
My mom had three children, and it seemed to be a perfect number for her. Middle kid is…well…how he always is, lol.