[name]Hi[/name] all, im new to this site and i have to say i [name]LOVE[/name] it, have spent the last few hours reading all the many posts and lists and looking at name meanings it is very cool but i have noticed a few things and wanted to see your opinions.
Im from New Zealand and i have noticed from what ive been reading on here and what ive seen on shows like 16&pregnant/teen mom, that you guys have picked out exactly the name before the birth. I find it quite interesting that alot of people tend to do this and have seen people early on in pregnancy or even before conception have the exact name chosen, is this an american thing? from all my friends and family i dont know people who go into labour 100% having a set name, obviously they have a list of names they like and obviously have talked about it, cause naming is crucial and a fun part of pregnancy/parenting, but from people i know and even for myself i would have to wait to meet the little one first before i am dead set on the name. What are your thoughts and opinions?
Another thing i have noticed and also found weird/interesting is that people are really into the nicknames of the children, many allready announcing a nickname before the birth/meeting the child/getting to know their personality. I think its kinda odd, i have also seen people give their children names but then never calling them by their given name, always by a nickname, and this intersts me cause i think if that is always what they will be called then why not call them that. I see people on here give names like [name]Isadora[/name] only to have the child know exclusively as [name]Sadie[/name] (p.s not hating on the name at all, i actually [name]LOVE[/name] the name sadie), I kinda feel whats the point in that being her first name then? And another example is people liking names like [name]Dash[/name] or [name]Lucy[/name] but then not wanting to call them that, even though they clearly love the name, and look for a longer name because the name isnt good enough. This also confuses me somewhat and id love to hear more opinions?
Please know that i am not in anyway trying to be rude and i dont want to offend anyone, i genuinely am curious about this and would love some other peoples thoughts and opinions.
[name]Hi[/name] im from NZ (auckland)too! People probably wont read this for a wee while yet, they will still be asleep, they will prob all reply when we are fast asleep!
Anyways i actually gotta agree with most of your points! I have found the early naming thing slightly interesting, it might not be an american thing, more of a more modern thing with all the technology that helps us to see the gender before birth. When i was born (80’s) im told it was more common to not find out the gender and have a lovely suprise at the birth.
I also found the nickname/first name thing interesting, i have seen people on here love names but then not want to use them because its too short or whatever so theyll chose names like [name]Elizabeth[/name]/[name]Phillipa[/name] but then to only ever call them [name]Libby[/name]/[name]Pippa[/name] (examples not being mean here). But then again some people will give you a nickname even though you might not like it, like my name [name]Ashley[/name], people sometimes called me [name]Ash[/name] but for years i hated the nickname and i know [name]Benjamin[/name]‘s or [name]Thomas[/name]’ who get called the obvious nick names and not like it either.
Anyway i didnt 100% choose my children’s names before their birth but did have a list of what i like and what hubby liked and then once we had meet the baby we then kinda used ‘gut instinct’ what felt right.
Funny you mention it… I’m American and just yesterday I went to a Greek Festival with 4 friends, one of whom has a 2 month old and the rest of us are pregnant! Nobody could believe that my husband and I already have our baby’s name set in stone. The mother of the 2 month old said she called an audible in the delivery room (overriding the name she and her husband had agreed upon) and the other girls said they and their husbands were nowhere close to agreeing.
All in all, I attribute our baby’s name being chosen to a few things: my A+++ personality when it comes to nailing down important decisions; the lack of credence I give to that whole “look at the baby and let her tell you her name” concept; and my name-nerdiness, whereby I know every name there is and I know there’s none I like better than the one we’ve chosen.
So, is that an American thing? I don’t know. But there’s no WAAAAY I could have the baby and then do critical things like, you know, name her, hang up her clothes, knit her a pink hat… speaking of which, I gotta get cracking on that hat. I only have 3 more months!
American here. I don’t understand why people on this particular site love nicknames. If I liked the shorter version of a name, I would never use the longer variation in the first place. For the most part, I hate nicknames.
As for naming children before they are born, that is something we do. Children grow into their names anyways. When a baby is born it isn’t like a name is branded on them.
I don’t get the nickname thing either. I purposely chose names that don’t have nicknames for all 3 of my kids. As for early naming, I make my decision late in the pregnancy. By the 8th month, I feel like I “know” my baby’s personality and what name will suit him or her. I found out the gender with all 3 kids as well. I do think it is weird when people select “the” name before they are even pregnant.
[name]Hi[/name] and welcome! I agree with some of your points about nicknames, though I do think it’s sometimes good to have a more formal name for the purpose of resumes, job applications, etc. But of course I wouldn’t name my child [name]Lucinda[/name] if I disliked it, just to get to the nn [name]Lucy[/name].
About choosing the name ahead of time-- I don’t know if it’s an American thing or not, but I personally can’t imagine leaving such an important decision til after the birth. [name]Brand[/name] new parents have enough to think about, and I’m sure emotions are all over the place at that point! Having said that, I can see having maybe 2-3 possible options and choosing which one after the birth. But I would definitely feel better having the decision made ahead of time.
[name]Just[/name] curious-- what exactly is it about a baby’s personality that sways the decision to one name or another?? Maybe seeing the baby helps the parents decide which name they really love the most, but I don’t quite buy into seeing a newborn and saying, ‘Oh he’s obviously a [name]Benjamin[/name] and not a [name]Joseph[/name]’!? Most people I know pick the name ahead of time but don’t announce it until after the birth, so everyone has that surprise.
Another reason you may see more people on here picking out their children’s names well ahead of time is simply because many of us (especially those like me who’ve posted here regularly for a long time) are here because we’re interested in names. It’s natural that when we’re interested in the subject we give a lot of thought to the idea (that’s why you’ll also see some of us talking about names for hypothetical children that due to age or other circumstances we probably won’t ever have). That’s why I think it’s more of a “name nerd” thing than an “American” thing. If this board were a representation of the average American mindset on names, you’d see lots of support for “tryndee” names like [name]Jayden[/name] and [name]Nevaeh[/name] (which many of us Berries dislike).
About the nickname thing: It’s true that Americans in recent years have been more obsessed with making sure their kid’s names sound “professional” or “formal” enough. However, having done some research on the subject, it’s not a constant phenomenon (and already shows signs of fading along with the McMansion/SUV “bigger is better” craze of the past 2-3 decades). If you’d like to learn more about this cycle (and how it contrasts to the U.K. cycle on nicknames which runs about opposite to [name]America[/name]'s) check out this post at my blog from last month: Kelly's blog on his interests: Nicknames vs. formal names, part 3 (To understand the jargon there, run a search on the Internet for “Strauss and [name]Howe[/name]” which is the theory I use in many of my analyses at my blog.)
My personal opinion on the nickname issue is:
If it’s a name “in it’s own right” (like [name]Finn[/name] or [name]Lucy[/name]) it’s perfectly acceptable as a stand-alone name.
If it’s a short form of a longer name, it depends on an individual basis. For example, I’d consider [name]Kate[/name] by itself but not [name]Katie[/name].
Also, there are some of us who carry over our naming obsession to planning nicknames as well ahead of time (although I’d let any nicknames come about “naturally”). For example, [name]Abby[/name] at http://appellationmountain.net has a daughter whose actual first name is [name]Claire[/name] but goes by [name]Clio[/name] (I’ll let her do further explaining if she wants to).
(NB: I live in [name]America[/name] but am half-British, if that make any difference)
I think a lot of people on Nameberry really feel strongly about the way a name can influence the rest of your life. Personally, I think I’d be in an absolute panic if I went into labor and didn’t have a name picked out (although I think I’d go into the hospital with several, in case the baby didn’t look like our first name choice) because I’d be worried I just end up with something common/plain and unthought-out, given how crazy everything would be.
As far as nicknames, I prefer longer names, and I wouldn’t want to give a child a nickname because even if I love it, they might not like it as they got older, which is why I think longer names are a better option. In general, I also try to find names with multiple nicknames, like [name]Susannah[/name], so that if she looks like a [name]Sunny[/name], terrific, but if she’s more of a [name]Susie[/name] or [name]Sookie[/name], then so be it. I just prefer to have lots of options, so that’s why I would chose [name]Luciana[/name] over [name]Lucy[/name], because maybe she’s an [name]Ana[/name] or even a [name]Luciana[/name], or there are two other [name]Lucy[/name]'s in her class. But I can only speak for myself here.
I don’t have any children yet but I imagine when I have my first I will have certain combinations picked out but I don’t think I will have the name set in stone until after I actually have the baby!
I’m American and I totally agree with you on the nickname trend. I just don’t get it. I tend to like longer names that have tons of nickname possibilities but I wouldn’t plan on using any of them. Of course children will pick up nicknames from their friends but I don’t understand naming a child a beautiful name such as [name]Josephine[/name] and plan on always calling her [name]Josie[/name] or [name]Jos[/name].
I’m American and love names. That being said, the whole nickname thing drives me crazy. I notice it more on this site even than in real life. We have lots of friends overseas and I [name]LOVE[/name] the way that [name]Antonio[/name] is never something regrettable like “Ant” the way [name]Anthony[/name] can be here. As a [name]Jessica[/name], regardless of how I am introduced or how I introduce myself to people, you can not imagine the number of times that people take the liberty of immediately making me a “[name]Jessie[/name],” which I utterly despise. When I choose names, I make sure nicknames are not possible. Unfortunately, that means I have to let go of a lot of great names that I love. For example, I love [name]Edmund[/name], but I know I could not control the inevitable [name]Ed[/name] or [name]Eddie[/name] (as in Uncle) nicknames, so it’s out.
I think most of your observations are due to the fact you are on a board with name-obsessed people; it’s not just an American thing. I haven’t noticed the same trends [name]IRL[/name]. (E.g. if you look at the top baby names, there are a lot of nicknames in the top 100)
I don’t understand the nickname debate on these boards. I think a lot of parents choose long-form names that they like, but then nicknames kind of flow organically as the kids gain/change personalities. As a [name]Julia[/name], I am [name]Jules[/name], Julesy, Juju, etc. in addition to [name]Julia[/name]. I think it is a lot more rare (except on nameberry) for a parent to choose a long-form name that they have no intent of ever calling the child.
I think the 16 and Pregnant girls may be more likely to choose the name they have loved ‘since they were a little’ girl because they still ARE little girls and haven’t had the time and experiences that cause many of us to change perspective on the names we like. As an American, yes, I have always been into names, but none of the names I like now were on my radar until a few years ago.
As to nicknames, it has been discussed on these boards that Americans tend to prefer full names to putting a ‘nickname’ on the birth certificate. We have gone into in-depth discussions about the class system in the UK and Australia versus [name]America[/name] and other factors, but it remains that most Americans aren’t comfortable putting “[name]Freddy[/name]” on official documents. Now, I do think that many on Nameberry take this concept to a new level, choosing full names that most people would use on a daily basis and picking a nickname for it that most people would consider a formal name-like [name]Clementine[/name] to [name]Cleo[/name] or [name]Susannah[/name] to [name]Sadie[/name], but I attribute this to a name nerd’s attempt to get “two for the price of one,” rather than a particularly Americal phenomenon. I have plenty of friends-most of them, in fact- who named their kids simple names with no nicknames required.
I’m not sure if it is a U.S. thing or just name obsessed people thing. I have been planning names for potential future children since I was in elementary school and nicknames are big for me. I love nicknames, so I have to choose names where I love the potential nicknames. My good friend hates nicknames, and made sure to choose a name that didn’t have one. Though I can find a nickname for any name…
About the class thing: Although I’ve never lived there, from what others have said (for example in the thread you’re referring to) the “class distinctions” in Australia and New Zealand more closely resemble the looser social mobility of the U.S. than the more rigid distinctions of the U.K. (The class issue, even when looking beyond English-speaking countries, appears to largely be a difference of the stronger class structure in the “Old World” vs. the “New World” looser structure. For example, I’ve heard that many European schools tend to “track” their students at an earlier age based on their social class.) On the other hand, Aus/NZ have more of a British influence on their naming trends (from stats I’ve seen there are more nickname-names used in recent years there than in the U.S., but not to the extent in [name]Britain[/name] itself).
I do think choosing a name ahead of time is a bit of a name nerd thing. I’ve had many names picked out for any future children for quite some time. However, I also have to run those names by the hubby in hopes of even agreeing on a name by the time the baby comes! My other problem is I am so insane when it comes to planning things out. I want to know the sex. I want our name choices at least narrowed down to 2 or 3 by the time of delivery. All my ducks in a row.
With my son, [name]Jude[/name], my hubby and I planned on calling him [name]Asher[/name] until our parents ruined the name for us. Although, I still kept [name]Asher[/name] in my back pocket in case one of us changed our mind during delivery (I almost did). When he arrived, he definitely felt like a [name]Jude[/name] and so that’s what he’s called.
I also agree that choosing a name with nickname possibilities gives you a little leeway when deciding what name best fits your baby. My daughter is [name]Arabella[/name]. My husband was dead set on calling her [name]Ari[/name]. HA! That didn’t happen. She is a major princess and is called [name]Bella[/name] or [name]Arabella[/name]. I’m also keeping [name]Aria[/name] in mind in case she’s a little song bird like I was (and she’s already starting to sing). I guess it just makes sense to me to keep the options open because, really, your child could end up with a nickname that has nothing to do with his or her name anyway.
I’m American. I want to have a short list of baby names that I like before I’m even pregnant because the hormones that you have when you’re pregnant and especially when you give birth get you high. All of that adrenalin, oxytocin, and endorphins that your body makes naturally to help you deliver also change your thoughts. I don’t want to pick my baby name when I’m high, I’d rather have a good idea of what I want while I’m sober.
My mom told me about this dream she had when she was pregnant with me . . . she woke up in a sweat from a terrible nightmare almost in tears. She said, “I dreamed that I named my baby Cabinita because I thought it sounded pretty, but then I got home with my baby and realized it was a terrible name.”
I’m not sure if the rest of [name]America[/name] shares my concern, but that’s my take on baby naming.
Wow thanks for all your responses! [name]Glad[/name] to see i didnt offend anyone because i was worried about that! and also glad that its sparked a healthy mature conversation about it! I agree that its probably a ‘name nerd’ thing (love that classification ) and i dont think theres anything wrong with it, was just curious to know more about it and from reading the posts on here (i feel im slightly addicted to the site now) i see there are many people who are strong name enthusiasts and have been for years and i have come across many young girls on here allready discussing names though they might not even be outta high school yet!
I see lotsa people agree with me on the nickname thing and its probably just a matter of personal opinion, for me personally if i like a name and plan to always call my children by that name then thats what will name them. I do see the point that people brought up about jobs ect though, and i think some names might apply to that reasoning but some not.
I know I am the odd one out, but I could never settle on a name before my baby is born. I feel like s/he is just a wish inside me growing into a little person. When baby comes out into the world and I can see that little face then the naming comes.
I am also a little superstitious about planning too much too early. [name]Even[/name] though I have no reason to worry I feel like it’s bad to count your chickens before they hatch. This is part tradition and part personal neuroses .
I am American, from NY, and of mixed European background .
I am an Aussie! I know people who have the name prepicked before the birth and I know people have had the baby and still haven’t picked a name. It is a personal thing.
As for nicknames, I don’t like them much. I only let close friends and family call me by my nickname and everyone else has to call me by my real name. I find it offencive for someone who doesn’t know me to call me by my nickname.
Half an hour drive from where I grew up is another town where nearly everyone is known by a nickname and they have nothing to do with their actual name. I don’t know why but my great grandfather’s name was [name]William[/name] and he was known as [name]Ted[/name]. Okay [name]Edward[/name] was his middle name but why not [name]Will[/name], [name]Bill[/name], [name]Wills[/name], [name]Willie[/name], [name]Willis[/name], [name]Billy[/name] etc. His mother [name]Ernestine[/name] was known as Esbenie.
I am an Aussie and I cannot for the life of me understand why most of the people on nameberry are so set on thinking about nicknames. I agree with OP that why give a child a name and then for most of the time call them something else?
My father was named [name]Joe[/name], just [name]Joe[/name] and why not? If his parents liked that name more than [name]Joseph[/name] why go down the nn path instead of giving him the name [name]Joe[/name] as a full name?
) and i dont think theres anything wrong with it, was just curious to know more about it and from reading the posts on here (i feel im slightly addicted to the site now) i see there are many people who are strong name enthusiasts and have been for years and i have come across many young girls on here allready discussing names though they might not even be outta high school yet!