Oh wow this topic is so interesting to me because it’s something I’ve given a lot of thought to myself! Maybe it’s a case of wanting what you didn’t have? Or grass is always greener?
My mum was one of 7 children and felt like she didn’t get as much attention growing up as she would have liked and never wanted a lot of children. She had me, and I basically grew up an only child (which I hated!) and then had my baby sister when I was 13, so we’ve both kind of grown up seperately. I sometimes say my mum had two “only children”. My sister’s turning 11 this month so it’s still too young to really tell how she’ll feel when she’s older, but I certainly want a large family and always have. I know that you never can tell what will happen but I feel almost certain I’d have at least 4 children and, depending on finances etc, I’d consider anything up to 6,7, maybe even 8 if the last ones were twins! Haha. I think 4-6 would be ideal though. I think growing up an only child, yes I got a lot of adult attention but I really wanted the company of another little person my age to share all the memories etc with. I adore my sister but I’m more like her 3rd parent than sister most of the time since I’m 24 now. I think both me and my mum want the opposite for our children of what we had. Maybe my children will only want one or two!
My partner is the same. He has one sister who’s about 8 years older than him and we really bonded initially over both wanting a big family. I thought I was the only one who dreamt about having lots of children one day even when I was only a child myself (probably since the age of 7-8!) but turns out he was the same. We both feel minimum 4 and we’d be happy. I’m sure lots of people with children will tell me I’ll feel differently when the time comes but I really don’t think I will.
As someone else said, I think maybe it is a generational thing. Generally my generation grew up in smaller families so maybe we’ve romanticised the idea of having lots of brothers and sisters and lots of mess and chaos and love! I would never want to have more children than I had time for though because I don’t want any to feel that they didn’t get enough love and attention.
My mum doesn’t really know how many children I’d like but she has said that she thinks it’s “selfish” of people to have more than 2 or 3 children. I don’t understand this opinion. I think it’s selfish to have more children than you can care for and support, but as long as you have the time, energy and finances to do it I think people should have as many children as feels right for them.
Having said all that, I know a few people my age and a little older with one or two children who say there’s no way they’d have more. So maybe it is a nameberry thing! Or at least a link between loving children and loving names.
[name]How[/name] many of you, like me, have been picking out your childrens names since you were a child yourself? And I think there’s more joy to it then just the love of names, at least for me. Yes I loved the names but I also loved imagining the family I could one day create, the faces, genders, ages, personalities etc. So maybe name lovers tend to be people who dream of bigger families and maybe many are now making those dreams reality?
Sorry for rambling! I always do lol.