[name_m]Hi[/name_m] All-
We recently had friends (we aren’t BFFs or anything, but we see them often) who named their son “[name_m]Jack[/name_m]”. It’s a name the DH and I used to have in our top 3. [name_f]Do[/name_f] I remove it from the list? Or do I keep it on? Is it name stealing if we were to use it? There are plenty of other names out there, but some times it’s hard to let go! Thanks!
Did you tell them you were using it?
[name_f]My[/name_f] husband and I had to tell his brothers several years ago that we are using [name_m]Gabriel[/name_m], if we can ever actually get pregnant. I’m glad we did, because one of his brother’s had a baby two years ago and they were going to consider [name_m]Gabriel[/name_m], but they stopped because of us. And now that brother’s wife is pregnant again and so is my other sister-in-law. [name_m]Both[/name_m] of my sisters-in-laws have ended up pregnant before me. 
If you like other names more than [name_m]Jack[/name_m], then I’d reconsider. [name_m]Jack[/name_m] is a great name, we love it, but there other equally wonderful or better names out there. If I had to see someone often, I’d avoid their baby name.
If they are friends you see regularly I wouldn’t consider it name stealing, but bad etiquette to use the name without telling them and seeing how they react to it. I only consider it stealing if it’s a close friends or family members childs name.
If you voice how much you love jack and are considering it for a future little to give them a heads up, and they don’t react badly then I see it fine and not name stealing. If they do react badly you’d probably have to choose between potentially losing that friendship, not using the name, or things being awkward for awhile.
[name_f]Do[/name_f] they own the name? If not, it’s perfectly fine to use. It’s not like [name_m]Jack[/name_m] is uncommon or anything.
I wish I could reserve names with friends and family. I always hold my breath to see if they’ve chosen one of “our” names!
Well, we don’t know how much longer we can reserve names, seeing as how we’ve been trying for over two years. So we might be out of luck soon enough. But I don’t think either of them are considering [name_m]Gabriel[/name_m] this time around, but I know for sure my nephew [name_m]Xavier[/name_m] would have been [name_m]Gabriel[/name_m] had we not spoken to them about it years ago.
I’m not worried about girl names as we all have vastly different tastes in girl names.
I think it really depends. [name_m]Jack[/name_m] is a common name and I want to say that if you choose [name_m]John[/name_m] nn [name_m]Jack[/name_m] you’d be in the clear. It also depends on how close you are with them. For example we have “friends” who we see every couple of weeks but who really are friends of a friend. I love her name and have it on my list - I’ve considered if someone would feel like we were honoring her with it (it’s a less common virtue name) but then decided I’d worry about it when we are pregnant with a little girl. I’d give you the same advice: If you are not pregnant: keep [name_m]Jack[/name_m] on your list for now - maybe put some effort into finding other options but don’t throw [name_m]Jack[/name_m] out yet. Who knows maybe you’ll have three girls and never get the chance to name a boy? Or by the time you do have a little boy you no longer see them that often.
If you are pregnant with a little boy I’d talk to them. Tell them it’s been on your list - top 3 - for a while and that you are still considering it. I wouldn’t ask for permission so much as just give them a heads up. [name_m]Jack[/name_m] is common enough that it’s not “stealing” - it’s not like they found a “used less than 5 times a year” name that you fell in love with after they used it. (Of course if they are very upset by you using the name and they are important enough to you then you can consider that after your conversation but don’t just assume they’d be offended by you using it).
Great advice everyone! I think it will be kept on the list, but I’ll try to find other possibilities. 
[name_m]Jack[/name_m] is quite a popular name, and it’s obviously been on your list for a while, so I wouldn’t consider that ‘stealing’. However, regardless of stealing or not stealing, if your family spends a lot of time around theirs, and your kid will be seeing their kid fairly often, I would suggest not using it just so it doesn’t get confusing or annoying with the two of them having the same name.