Is sibling flow really important?

I’ve been thinking lately that maybe we put too much importance on whether or not a name fits the sibling style, myself included. I’ve found myself compartmentalizing my names into sibling sets (traditional names, Irish names, whimsical names, etc) but then I started thinking why can’t [name]Charlotte[/name], [name]Finn[/name], and [name]Everly[/name] be a sibset? It may actually be more interesting if the names were unexpected! What do you guys think?

I think it works as long as it’s even. If all of the names are different, that’s technically a “matching sibset”… since their differences make them similar. Does that make sense?

I still think sibling flow is relatively important (to me anyway) if two or more names fit a certain naming style.

For instance:
[name]Saoirse[/name], [name]Niamh[/name] & [name]Everly[/name] do not really work for me…
[name]James[/name], [name]Henry[/name] & [name]Octavius[/name]

You just naturally expect certain things when hearing siblings… I tend to comply to those natural assumptions.

I think it’s all personal: you should go with the names you like most, and if one of the criteria is sibling flow, that will affect which ones you like most. I do like a sense of cohesion among sibling names (three sisters I know of named [name]Hunter[/name], [name]Stella[/name], and [name]Ellie[/name] seem really mismatched to me), but I understand people who are in love with a name that doesn’t necessarily “go” with the others in the set and decide to use it anyway.

I also think it’s interesting, however, that when people use names that aren’t really of a set, they still seem to have less obvious similarities. For instance, [name]Charlotte[/name] and [name]Everly[/name] are different nearly every way, but on a deeper level, they’re both very on-trend: [name]Charlotte[/name] rising to #27 with its vintage style and unranked [name]Everly[/name] notable for its very recent usage, surnamey quality, vowel and “v” sounds, and “-lee” ending. The same “on-trend” link might be said of [name]Hunter[/name], [name]Stella[/name], and [name]Ellie[/name]. Maybe that makes sibling names that don’t “match” a more modern, trendy thing: with globalization spreading many cultures’ names and naming styles, people feel more comfortable picking and choosing what they like without as much “reverence” for sibling flow. Does that make sense, haha? [name]Just[/name] a thought.

I always thought my sister & I were a mismatch. [name]Tara[/name] & [name]Elizabeth[/name]…one long, classic & nicknamable (lucky her!), the other short & trendier for the 80s & not so classic. It isn’t awful but we both went through slight phases of jealousy for the other’s name style! Not a big deal though really. If I were [name]Rebecca[/name] or she were [name]Carlie[/name] the flow might’ve been better, but in our situation dad picked one & mom picked the other!

I like sibling flow, it just makes them fit together better. Me and my sister’s names match really well and I don’t think my parents planned that, lol. [name]Diana[/name] and [name]Melissa[/name]. [name]Both[/name] are 3 syllables and end in a. [name]Diana[/name] is roman and [name]Melissa[/name] is greek, which is also really cool.

I can see siblings being jealous because one got a “cooler” or “classic” name while the other didn’t. Not saying they will, but I hear it from time to time and have even seen it mentioned on here.

Overall, I just prefer them to be similar in some way. It’s a nice way to tie them together. In my opinion it kind of looks “sloppy” when they don’t match. It’s like mismatched socks.

I think most names will fit somehow. And I think your example is actually totally fine. They’re old sounding names that are kind of modern. My sisters and I have completely different popularity (me, top 10, my sister just making top 100 and my other sister is way, way off the chart) Yet, they work.

I think it’s more if something is blaringly obvious as to why they are ‘off’. And it’s not hard and fast in terms of length, popularity, style etc I think it’s case by case.

To answer your question though, I do think it’s important - but I also think it’s very rare that they don’t go somehow.

I worry about names matching too. My SO’s top 3 names are [name]Isaac[/name], [name]Wilhelm[/name] and [name]Lilith[/name]. To me [name]Wilhelm[/name] is the odd one out. A matching sunset would be [name]Isaac[/name] [name]Marcus[/name]/[name]Simon[/name] and [name]Lilith[/name] or [name]Wilhelm[/name], [name]Isaac[/name] and [name]Anna[/name]/[name]Ana[/name]. But if you love the names, go for it.

I’ve been wondering this myself. Our DD is named [name]Avery[/name]. If we have another girl DH really wants to name her [name]Margaret[/name]. Its a nice name but its so different. He doesn’t care about sibsets but I would like them to at least have a similar feel.

Maybe we do obsess a bit too much about “matching names” though I like to think that sib-sets should go together for best style. [name]Kinda[/name] like designing your house. It’s not you want every piece of furniture in the same color or even same fabric. But you do look for furniture that is harmonious and intriguing together. You can put that intricate antique next to a brand new plastic arm chair but you also know they are only going to mesh if you really think it out properly. So most people just don’t bother with that. I feel like it’s the same with choosing names for a sib-set.

My dream family always had a set of twin boys and a younger girl. [name]Prosper[/name], [name]Tristan[/name] and [name]Aurora[/name]. (Now I always knew that having twins naturally was not very likely, but a girl can dream right?) To me these names fit perfectly together. Each very different from the others with the exception of the “r” sound. I got all three names from stories/myths that I love. They are also all similar in length. (Those are usually the notes I give when people ask about sib-sets). However, that’s not “matching” is it? I would find it very odd to meet siblings [name]Octavius[/name], [name]Miller[/name] and Sayaka. For me there is a difference between matching and harmonious.

Anyway, that’s my two cents.

No. Siblings will only be a set for eighteen years, if their twins, less if they have years between them. The GREAT VAST MAJORITY of their lives they will not be introduced as “[name]Emma[/name], [name]Josie[/name], & [name]Pete[/name]”. Most kids do not sit around thinking “why did mom name me this and my sister that”. Name the child the name you love or has meaning to you without worrying about what the sibling’s names are.

To me the flow is important but not essential! If I really loved a name that didn’t flow well or perfectly match their siblings names I think I would still use it :slight_smile:

To me, sibling flow isn’t all that important. I mean, the kids won’t be living together when they’re older so they won’t be introducing themselves along with their siblings. What matters more to me is selecting the right name for each child, even if it doesn’t sound nice with my other children’s names. :slight_smile: But I understand that it’s important to others, which is fine, too! It just isn’t a big deal to me.

I think it depends. I wouldn’t do anything too similar or matchy, like [name]Jade[/name] and [name]Jake[/name], [name]Aidan[/name] and [name]Hayden[/name] or [name]Summer[/name] and [name]Autumn[/name], for example. I’d try to match in length and style somewhat, [name]Bernadette[/name] and [name]Cole[/name] seem completely mismatched, while [name]Bernadette[/name] and [name]Richard[/name] or [name]Daisy[/name] and [name]Cole[/name] seem to pair up a bit more.

Popularity though doesn’t bother me - I grew up pretty much being [name]Sophie[/name] X or [name]Sophie[/name] Surname in every situation, while my sister has only met two or three people her whole life with the same name and spelling as her, so maybe it’s experience that makes it like that for me. While our sibset doesn’t really ‘match’ in terms of popularity, they were names our parents loved at the time and that’s the most important thing, that you like a name. If it’s too close to a brother or sister’s name then yes, it’s a reason not to use it, but there’s nothing wrong with a [name]Sarah[/name] and a [name]Louisa[/name] being sisters, they’re both vintage classics even though one’s far, far more popular than the other, especially in the US, where [name]Louisa[/name] I believe is out of the top 1000 completelty.

Yes. My brother has [name]Katelyn[/name], [name]Ashlee[/name], [name]Tyson[/name], [name]Karlee[/name], Maloree and [name]Gideon[/name]. Where in the heck did [name]Gideon[/name] come from??? It’s so weird. I mean, I like the name. It’s just weird with the rest of their kids’ names.

I really don’t think it matters. There’s a large age gap in my family between the oldest two children and the youngest daughter and my parents’ taste in names changed over time so my name and my sister’s names are classic and my youngest sister’s name is unusual and a little unexpected. It did make her the ‘odd one out’ for a little while, but now it suits her. She is one of a kind. The fundamentals of the names are similar (syllables, strength) even though the styles are different.

That said, my parents gave all of us great names. If you named your kids [name]Jane[/name] and one kid Kaynslee it might be kind of weird.

I totally get your point, I have been thinking a lot about this too! I come from a family of 4 girls and we have far from matching names. [name]Mindy[/name], PollyJoanna, [name]Valerie[/name], and [name]Shannah[/name]. I never ever thought once. Why my mom named me [name]Polly[/name] and not any of my other sisters names? And, do our names flow? I honestly could have given a two hoots less. =) I mean, seriously, do we say no to marrying someone, because our names dont match? Ok, Now Im going extreme hehe.