[name_m]Hi[/name_m] Berries,
So, I’m too young to have children, but I absolutely adore the name [name_u]Harper[/name_u] for a boy and my cousin had a little girl a couple of months ago, and named her [name_u]Harper[/name_u]. Assuming I won’t have my first kid until I am at least 22 - 25, which will be in at least another 8 years, would I still be able to use the name? She lives on the other side of the country I live in, and I have only ever seen her a maximum of 10 times in my life. I really want to use this name when I’m older, but would it be considered ‘stealing’ if I do? [name_u]Harper[/name_u] is my equal top boys’ name, scoring equally with [name_u]Schuyler[/name_u] and [name_m]Ezekiel[/name_m], but I really don’t want to demote it to the mn spot. Any suggestions for what I can do? And opinion on if I am ‘stealing’ the name. I already think I am, but I was hoping for suggestions to make it seem less so.
I think you can still use the name when the time comes. If it was your sister, best friend or a really close cousin, I would have suggested you reconsider or use it as a middle in the future (or at least discuss it with the party in question), but as it is, it seems to me like this cousin is not close enough for it to really matter. She’s much older than you and you have very little contact with her. The same will go for her little [name_u]Harper[/name_u] and your children.
Your child is bound to come across plenty of other Harpers as he grows up, and knowing one in his extended family is not really an issue. Some families use the same honour names over and over and can end up being comprised of several cousins or relatives with the same name. If it gets confusing, you can always fall back on a nickname and/or middle name when necessary at family gatherings. And even if some people make comments, it’s fine to just tell the truth: you’ve always loved the name, and you’ve always wanted to use it.
That said, I also recommend you don’t worry about these things too much or cling to names too hard (difficult, I know…). If you’re still quite young, a lot of things can still happen and change. Give yourself space to fall in love with other names and expect to see your taste change (mine certainly did!). You may find that you never have the chance to use the name [name_u]Harper[/name_u]: maybe you’ll only have daughters. Or maybe, and this is oh-so-common, your significant other will hate the name [name_u]Harper[/name_u] and veto it. I’ve have a few name-conversations with my boyfriend over the years, and it turns out his taste is so different from mine. I’ve made my peace with the idea that some of my favourites will have to stay unused. And that’s ok!
HMMM thats a hard one…
If im totaly honest i prefer [name_u]Zephyr[/name_u] from your signature to [name_u]Harper[/name_u]… I like [name_u]Zephyr[/name_u] [name_m]Atticus[/name_m]… I prefer most of your other names that u have over harper xxx
Does she seem the type to say that you are taking her name… also if its gonna be another 8 years you will most likely have another set of names you love by that time as another name like [name_m]Harlan[/name_m][for example] perhaps another name might come along by then. x
8 years ago I loved a COMPLETELY different set of names, I mean different style, everything. And as a PP mentioned, when the time comes, you’ll have to negotiate the name decision with a SO who may not even like [name_u]Harper[/name_u]. Or you may never have a boy, only girls. I wouldn’t spend too much time worrying about things until you’re ready to use the name…so much can and will change between now and then! For what it’s worth though, I do think you could still use [name_u]Harper[/name_u]…I much prefer it on a boy anyway. 
I think it’s still useable for sure. I also think that the names you dream of using when you’re young often get swiftly vetoed by your co-parent and that it’s not worth losing sleep over at this point
Best of luck!