i had my baby girl in Feb. and i named her [name]Violet[/name] [name]Leilani[/name] and i have a son [name]Alexander[/name] Ikaika. for some reason i cant seem to stop thinking of other names…everyday i come up with a new one i like…i feel so guilty! i even write them down to see how they would go with [name]Alex[/name]…does this mean i chose the wrong name?? what do you think of this list of names compared to [name]Violet[/name]? dont get me wrong i do love her name, i just dont know why im still making lists! btw we dont plan on having more children
real names: [name]Alexander[/name] & [name]Violet[/name]
names i keep fantasizing about: (**i starred the ones i obsessively think about lol)
[name]Alexander[/name] & [name]Catherine[/name] nn [name]Alex[/name] & [name]Cat[/name] **
[name]Alexander[/name] & [name]Lucy[/name]**
[name]Alexander[/name] & [name]Beatrix[/name] nn [name]Alex[/name] & [name]Bea[/name]
[name]Alexander[/name] & [name]Amelie[/name]
[name]Alexander[/name] & [name]Anastasia[/name] nn [name]Alex[/name] & [name]Ana[/name]
[name]Alexander[/name] & [name]Charlotte[/name] nn [name]Alex[/name] & [name]Lotte[/name]
[name]Alexander[/name] & [name]Mara[/name]
I “help” name my little girls baby dolls. But seriously, I still think I should have used [name]Grace[/name] or [name]Sarah[/name] instead of [name]Katharine[/name] for my youngest daughter (she was 2 years old last month). DH thinks I’m nuts.
From that list, I think that [name]Violet[/name], [name]Catherine[/name], and [name]Charlotte[/name] work best with [name]Alexander[/name]. If you like [name]Violet[/name], but prefer the others, why don’t you keep [name]Violet[/name] as the middle name but change the first name?
Or, you could change the middle name and have the option of calling her [name]Violet[/name] or [name]Catherine[/name]/[name]Lucy[/name]/[name]Beatrix[/name]/etc.
You are so normal…my son and daughter are 12 and 8 years old, and I still say to myself, “Hmm, I should have named them [name]Jack[/name] and [name]Anna[/name]!” (Instead of [name]Kyle[/name] and [name]Emily[/name]!) I do help [name]Emily[/name] name her dolls and stuffed animals!
Since i have not yet had any kids, i cannot say if you are "normal’ or not. I do have to say that you said you love her name. I think that perhaps you are feeling sad that you will not have another chance to name a child, (i mean it is fun thinking about names). [name]Violet[/name] is a great name, but if you still feel that you need a different name, i am sure that people on here will be able to help you.
Your children have beautiful names - I wouldn’t change them.
I have a boy and a girl, too. They are pretty much grown up. I have always obsessed about names. I’m not sure that it’s a normal thing to think about. But if you are obsessed, what can you do?
I love to pretend I’m having another baby and think of names for it. That’s how I relax and go to sleep when I’m having insomnia. Helping to name dolls and stuffed animals is fun when your kids are young. Nicknames are fun, too. Going on the Nameberry boards is a great way to obsess and also interact with people from all over the world who want to talk about names. I am grateful to [name]Pam[/name] and [name]Linda[/name] for providing these boards.
But I wouldn’t change my kids’ names. They are wonderful names, and I have to think about my kids’ well-being. Who wants to have their name changed over and over by their mom?
I think it is a little normal to keep thinking about names. When you are so obsessed with names for 9 months it’s hard to just quite cold turkey! I think you picked a great name and it will seem more and more right as she gets older and you are used to saying her name.
[name]Just[/name] try not to talk about how you think about other names for her in front of her (when she is older). If you need to talk to a friend about names that would be better. My dad always says things like “we should have named you ______, and your brother ______.” It was annoying when I was young. I am not sure why he does it. I have never really loved my name, but I am sure glad they didn’t name me some of the crazy things he says.
I think the best option here is to add one of the other names you really love as a second middle name. Second middles are often not official. This might make you feel better, while not giving your daughter a whole new name.
I guess I am in the minority here, but I strongly feel that if a mother isnt liking her childs name and the baby is still young enough, then she should change it, but only if she is sure that the name she originally chose isnt right and that if she doesnt change it, then it will be something she always regrets. The child has to live with the name for the rest of his or her life, and sometimes parents get the name wrong the first time. I wish that people were more understanding of this. I think that as far as it emotionally effecting a baby is a stretch, a baby recieves comfort in hearing its parents voices, Im not so sure they can fully comprehend what their name is and what having a name means, only a few months. [name]Every[/name] situation is different and Im just saying we shouldnt judge or sway someone in feeling that changing the name would be the wrong thing to do…since its such a personal decision.
My sense is that what you’re feeling is perfectly normal–at least I can totally identify with it. For people who love names, it can be difficult to stop the name-choosing process and I think that being around people who are expecting babies and choosing names can make us yearn to do the same. And there can be a real feeling of loss in knowing that you won’t be naming another baby (or perhaps the sadness in not getting to name another baby is really representative of your coming to terms with the end of the baby-making portion of your life?). I could be completely wrong, but I would hazard that if you did change your daughter’s name, you might continue to have regrets about the new name. At least for me, my relationship with my child’s name is a process, and she is 4 1/2! Most of the time I love her name (she definitely seems to), but sometimes I wonder why I hadn’t named her x y or z . . . . I think that for me this is definitely related to the fact that she will likely be our only child.
[name]Violet[/name] [name]Leilani[/name] is a beautiful, sweet, soft name and I think it goes very nicely with her brother’s name. By the way, my daughter has a Hawaiin middle too: [name]Noelani[/name]. (I think you actually responded to thread I posted a while back!)
Anyway, I know not everyone thinks as I do and I may be overinterpreting. In any event, I really think you have nothing at all to feel guilty for. You’re not hurting your daughter by fantasizing about other names–I’d allow yourself to do that, without guilt if possible. You might find that letting yourself fantasize frees you from the wish to change her name. But if you do go ahead and decide that she belongs with another name, I don’t think you should feel badly about that either.
From the astrologer’s perspective, you’re totally normal. [name]Mars[/name] was in retrograde this past February (it’s direct, ie; normal now.) It is very common to want to change the name of a pet, child, house, or business if you named it while [name]Mars[/name] was retrograde (we are often in a very different, inward-looking place during that time, which can change radically when the planet gets back to normal.)
I [name]LOVE[/name] the name [name]Violet[/name], and I love it with [name]Alexander[/name]. I think the name [name]Violet[/name] [name]Leilani[/name] is BEAUTIFUL!! I like [name]Violet[/name] better, both on it’s own and next to the name [name]Alexander[/name], than any of the other names on your list. It is a great combination, you have nothing to regret!!
I don’t think it means you chose the wrong name at all. In fact I think coming up with new names is great! It keeps you open to new possibilities should in you in the future have another child. Also you could come up with Nicknames for [name]Alexander[/name] & [name]Violet[/name] like [name]Lex[/name] and [name]Viola[/name]
i wanna thank u guys so much for all of the wonderful advice, esp. the part about naming my kids’ dolls & stuffed animals…im def. gonna start doing that! im so grateful to nameberry. its more than just another baby name website…its a support system…really…theres so many great people on here…the yahoo baby name board or any of the other boards dont hold a candle to nameberry…i love this little community…nowhere else can you get meaningful advice and such insightful opinions on names anywho, i really mean it you guys are great! i feel so much better!
luv, nani
thank you so much hilary…you totally got me…i dont want to change her name, i actually picked it for the exact reasons you mentioned above, because i thought it was beautiful, soft and sweet.
it is the fact that i feel sad when i think about never having this experience again. i cant say it any better, exactly what you wrote is exactly how i feel. i guess i just needed to be reassured that i wasnt an awful person for loving other names other than the names of my children
and i feel a lot better knowing that you and others understand. i love my daughters name and wouldnt change it for the world…ill just start releasing my naming energy on their stuffed animals as suggested by some of the other posters lol
and [name]Noelani[/name] is one of my favorite hawaiian names! so beautiful! thank u again, the guilt has been lifted off my shoulders!
This is by no means a professional opinion, and I haven’t had children yet myself, but perhaps thinking of alternative names is a response to the fact that your daughter probably will have been your last opportunity to name a child. [name]Violet[/name] is beautiful, but there is no harm in having other favourites! I imagine name doubt is quite common, as of course every parent wants to do things the best possible way for their child, including naming.
I think you are completely normal! I sometimes do the same thing myself, even with my older children who are 7 and 5 years old!
[name]Violet[/name] [name]Leilani[/name] is a beautiful name and you have said that you love it.
I think it is hard when you have decided not to have any more children. You have to come to terms with the fact that you are not going to be pregnant, give birth to your baby and go though the naming process again. I think you are mourning this a little and it is reflected in you making these lists. There are so many beautiful names out there and so we have to make a choice sadly. You have made a beautiful choice so don’t feel guilty
