Is this unusable for me?

Name Advice
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This is purely hypothetical, I’m not expecting any time soon and the circumstances might be too specific for people to really feel strongly about but I’m just really curious to hear everyone’s perspectives.

Essentially the situation is that I really like the name [name_u]Leslie[/name_u] but my dad, who is no longer living, had an ex-girlfriend with that name, and I have no idea how he would’ve felt about me using it. I’m not going to elaborate much further since a lot of it’s very personal, but let’s just say he had some very difficult memories from that relationship, though she didn’t directly cause trauma or anything like that and much of it didn’t even really have to do with her as a person. Nobody else I’m close with had a separate bad experience with her so far as I know, so I don’t think it would make anyone uncomfortable in that way, though they could find it slightly weird just knowing the situation with him.

Because of this association I’d probably only ever use it as a middle, and while I do like it slightly better for a girl, do you think using it for a boy, and maybe spelling it differently, could lessen the connection to where it’s less of an issue? [name_u]Or[/name_u] would it still be disrespectful to use at all? While I wouldn’t consider it one of my top names, I do like it a lot and could see myself possibly using it in the future, and since I have a hard time finding names I like in general, I would be a little bit sad to totally get rid of it as an option.

To be clear this isn’t a situation where I’m dying to use the name but my dad had a firm rule against it, it’s just that I had a pretty close relationship with him and wouldn’t want to use a name he would’ve felt uncomfortable with, even if he’s not alive to witness it. If I had to guess I doubt he’d have a strong objection, especially if it was just a middle name, but I can’t know for sure.

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I think it’d be fine to use for either a boy or girl? I mean I guess it depends on your feelings about life, and life after death etc… but I imagine your Dad would want you to be happy and have freedom to use any name you liked more than he’d care about how, many a year ago, he had a crappy relationship with someone with that name?

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I think this is one where you have to imagine introducing your baby as having [name_u]Leslie[/name_u] in their name to friends and family. Would you feel uncomfortable doing so, because the situation would be in the back of your mind, or would you feel okay about it? If it makes you feel awkward, then I’d probably put it on the backburner for now.

You could always have a casual chat with friends and family about baby names and mention you like [name_u]Leslie[/name_u] and see how they react?

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This is tricky!

I think you have to envision introducing your child to your family with this name and whether it would work for you. If you feel at ease introducing your child called Leslie/Lesley then go for it. If you feel uneasy I wouldn’t go ahead with choosing that choice. I feel this is a really personal decision and all just depends on how comfortable you’d be introducing your child with this name. I also do not feel the gender of the child would change this it’s the name itself really. I would chat with your family/friends to figure out their reaction.

[name_f]Hope[/name_f] my rambles help.

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I would use it for a girl. I don’t believe people in the afterlife worry about names on earth.

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If the thought of using [name_u]Leslie[/name_u] for your child makes you feel uncomfortable, I think you’ve answered your own question.

Personally I’d avoid it, especially since it isn’t your absolute favorite. I imagine you could find a name you love just as much.

1 Like