It can be hard when you love an unusual name

General Name Discussion
1

[name_m]Hi[/name_m] Berries,

I know many of us are here because we love names, not just because we may or may not be having a baby I am sure many of you can empathise with my light hearted story about one of my favourite names.

The scenario - you love and adore a name that’s outside the top 100 and therefore considered unusual or rare. But to you, it seems perfect - it ticks all of your particular boxes, and seems perfectly usable rather than “out there”.

The name I am thinking of as I write this is “[name_f]Primrose[/name_f]”. To me, it isn’t all that extreme - it is a name with a long history and I think it isn’t actually so unusual in the UK. But even so, it is rarely bestowed on girls in most countries as a first name, so that creates a bit of hesitation on my part (I’m Australian and I’ve never met a real live [name_f]Primrose[/name_f] in my whole life).

When I look at what I love in the name [name_f]Primrose[/name_f] it has these outstanding qualities:

  • has a long history (not an invented name)
  • despite its long history it is still highly unusual
  • it’s classy, pretty and elegant
  • easy to pronounce and spell
  • sounds pretty when you say it, looks pretty when you write it
  • has a lovely meaning
  • primrose flowers are themselves pretty and dainty
  • multiple adorable nickname choices that can age with the bearer of the name

However, every time I (or anyone else) posts about their love for [name_f]Primrose[/name_f], there is inevitably a person (or two) who says “I dislike this name because it seems to imply its bearer should grow up to be prim and proper like a repressed Victorian spinster”.

I certainly don’t mind that someone is giving constructive feedback because I am here to hear all opinions, good and bad before I make such an important decision about naming my child. But sometimes, I feel this type of response is just an off the cuff comment, stating something that seems obvious without really thinking about the name in more depth. Actually, the “prim” in [name_f]Primrose[/name_f] is short for “prima” - Latin for “first”. So the name is literally “first rose” which I think is a beautiful, evocative and enchanting meaning for a girl’s name.

I also wonder why [name_f]Primrose[/name_f] gets a hard time when [name_f]Lily[/name_f], [name_f]Daisy[/name_f], [name_f]Poppy[/name_f], [name_f]Rose[/name_f], [name_f]Violet[/name_f] or other common flower names for girls don’t. It seems unfair and I think ALL flower names should be made equal! Hahaha

I guess I’m trying to say that I want constructive criticism yet when I get it, contrarily, I want to fly to the defence of my favoured darling name lol

I am wondering if any of you have had a similar experience when someone critiques a name you think is a reasonable option and that makes you wonder if you are batty for liking and wanting to use it on a human being? [name_f]Share[/name_f] your unusual name story!

2

[name_m]Hi[/name_m]!

To me, there are 2 types of opinions that can be shared about a considered name:

  1. Simple like/don’t like personal preference, associations and thoughts that a name brings up for someone, which are useful if prospective parents either care about that specific person’s opinion, or if they are polling a larger group trying to pick a name that a majority of people will have a positive first reaction to;

  2. More complex reflexion about a name’s wearability, implications, connotations… Those are useful only as far as they are not the first type of opinion masquerading as the second, which is very often the case. People often disregard the fact that a name comes attached to a human being who will grow into it and carry it with their own personality and style. Also, they might tend to impose their own criteria for names on other people’s choices.

For example, about [name_f]Primrose[/name_f]: while I think it’s a gorgeous name, I personally wouldn’t have chosen it because it’s a tad too feminine for me, being the type of mom who shies away from pink and dresses my daughter in dinosaur tshirts :stuck_out_tongue: My job as a constructive commentator (!) is to not turn that personal criteria into a general comment about wearability and “common sense.”

[name_f]Hope[/name_f] that makes sense!

3

I love [name_f]Primrose[/name_f]! I’m in the same boat, I’m hesitant to use it because in [name_u]America[/name_u] it would almost certainly be considered ‘prim and proper’ and over the top.

I agree, I ask for criticism but at the same time I wish everyone would love my unusual favorites.

My example would be [name_m]Casper[/name_m]. I wish everyone loved it as much as I do. When I told my parents they said they worried about him being bullied but of course want me to choose whatever name I love. If this baby somehow turned out to be a boy lol, I might actually use it anyway!

4

I think when people talk about our favorite names in a way that’s not favorable to them, it feels personal even though it’s not! I know when people comment that they don’t like my name, my sister’s name or one of my absolute longtime favorites even if they might have a good reason, it still burns a bit LOL. So I definitely relate!

The truth is, most people aren’t going to think about the in depth meaning for a name-- we’re a minority here that wants to know those things! Not only are they not going to think about it, they don’t care. Most people are only going to go off the sound and spelling, and because [name_f]Primrose[/name_f] has the word “prim” in it, some people are going to associate it with being prim and proper, especially in real life.

For instance, I am in love with the name [name_m]Cosmo[/name_m]. I’ve loved it for years now. I love that it’s space related, I love that it’s science related, I love that it essentially means the order of the universe/ the universe. I love that it’s all-encompassing. I love that as a name it means “peace and order” because the cosmos know (lol) that those two things are all I’ve ever wanted in my life. I even love the way it sounds!
But, when I mention the name, people usually say, “oh, like Fairly Odd Parents,” or just “oh.” People think it’s a kooky name, a silly name, and probably not one that someone should use for an actual baby.

I have to admit it hurts to hear those criticisms, but I can understand and even agree with them. (Especially because, unlike you, I’m loving a name that’s pretty unwearable!) I don’t think you have such drastic criticisms for [name_f]Primrose[/name_f]-- which, while some may think of ‘prim and proper’, others can agree is a pretty, feminine, dainty girl’s name. I think that Prim in Hunger Games would’ve made at least a bit of leeway for [name_f]Primrose[/name_f] to be used in the modern day!

As far as all that goes, if it REALLY bothers you that some people are going to see/hear [name_f]Primrose[/name_f] and think it’s a bit stuffy, it might not be the right name for you. But if you’re able to overlook that, by all means, use it anyways! If not, maybe use it as a middle. Plus, if you ever end up naming a baby [name_f]Primrose[/name_f], once people get to know her, her personality will become their view of the name. :slight_smile:

5

I can relate. We’re all coming from different cultures, experiences and interests so we can have different perceptions of names. I love [name_f]Valentina[/name_f], [name_f]Anastasia[/name_f] and [name_m]Roman[/name_m] but when I bring them up they can get a few negative responses. Personally, I just brush them off. I’ve loved those names for years - they’re beautiful and meaningful to me and that’s not going to change. [name_f]Every[/name_f] name has pros and cons, and trying to find a name that everyone loves is an impossible task.

With [name_m]Roman[/name_m], people tend to bring up the word “[name_m]Roman[/name_m]” or [name_m]Roman[/name_m] Polanski. The former doesn’t bother me (I love [name_m]Rome[/name_m] and [name_m]Roman[/name_m] history, plus to me [name_m]Roman[/name_m] is no different from other names that relate to cities/places), but the latter does somewhat… Though I have decided that [name_m]Roman[/name_m] Abramovich is probably better known in the UK (where I live) than Polanski, and while Abramovich is no saint, he’s never been accused of child rape. Plus, I’m certain you could find an unpleasant association for any name.