I've got 2 names each...but NOBODY likes either!

First, I was utterly confused as to why you would need to change the spelling of the names. I think if you just spell them the correct way they are fine names. [name]Susan[/name] also had some great options for some less common names.

I am going to have to agree with Lyndsayjenness. [name]Jill[/name] gives an honest answer and always follows her answer with a helpful suggestion. This a message board and I highly (or hope) doubt anyone is out to hurt someones feelings or mock their name choice.

I like your names…just don’t care for the spellings. I think [name]Johnny[/name] [name]Victoria[/name] would be very pretty for a girl (or [name]Johnni[/name] [name]Victoria[/name]).

My older brothers name is spelled [name]Mikael[/name]. [name]Michael[/name] was my fathers name and my father wanted to make my brothers name different so he wasnt a junior. As a child I was always jealous that his name was creative and mine was not. But when we were in high school he became a great athlete in numerous sports and the newspaper NEVER spelled his name correctly. Sometimes it was the traditional [name]Michael[/name], but other times they realized it wasnt spelled the normal way, but still didnt spell it his way. it was [name]Micheal[/name] or [name]Mikhail[/name] or [name]Mikel[/name] but never [name]Mikael[/name]. After that I always felt bad for him in that he always had to spell his name out for people even though it was the number 1 boys name in the country and then explain why his name is spelled weird. Now that he is and adult he just tells people our father was stoned when he chose the spelling. While this probably is true, my brother just uses this explanation because then people stop asking questions. I also agree that if you have a real reason for changing the spelling, then that makes more sense and there is a story about it for the child to tell when someone asks, and they will ask.

If you want your children to stand out then chose less common names so not only will they stand out on paper, but wont turn every time a child is called that on a playground. I liked the suggestions and comments susan had.

On another note, I too have thought that [name]Jill[/name] comes off rude and condescending at times. While often having great suggestions, there is a way to do that with a lot more tact. To me there is an irony in the fact that she criticizes the names for lacking class when speaking down to others isn’t very classy either.

I know I haven’t posted in awhile but when I saw this I had to post.
First off, I agree with everybody who doesn’t like the spellings. You’re not the one who has to live with the name forever and constantly have to correct people. If you would have looked around the message boards, you might have realized that a majority of the people on Nameberry wouldn’t appreciate these type of ‘yooneek’ names. I’m not trying to be rude, but you did write your post giving people the right to give their honest opinions on your names.

And about [name]Jill[/name], all I’m going to say is that when I needed confirmation on my twin boys’ names, [name]Jill[/name] was always (and one of the only ones) there. So I really do appreciate her and her honest input. I have never thought of her as rude, but only as kind and helpful. Besides, it’s not like she’s saying bad things about a baby that’s already been named, she’s simply offering advice that somebody clearly asked for. Whether or not they follow her advice is their own choice.

I don’t think [name]Jill[/name] is rude at all. She is very articulate and intelligent. If I were pregnant and trying to think of a name, I would value her opinion so much.
[name]Jill[/name] posts on Nameberry every day and helps people think of names. That is a kind and gracious thing to do. [name]Even[/name] if she were a bit rude (which she isn’t), it would be gracious of her to give up her time and energy for people she doesn’t even know. (The reason I post all the time is because I am seriously obsessed with names. I’d rather think of names for real people then just sit there and think of names for no reason.) But I think [name]Jill[/name] posts a lot because she really is kind.
[name]Jill[/name] often signs her post, “Best Wishes to You!” I never do that. Mine are very matter-of-fact.
We all come from different backgrounds and different places around the country and around the world, and that’s an amazing and valuable community of namers. But we can’t hear each others’ tones in the posts. And we can’t always hear each others’ reasons for our opinions. So I think we need to give each other the benefit of the doubt. Everyone on Nameberry can be appreciated in some way. I do appreciate the poster who started this thread for wanting to be original even thought I didn’t particularly like the names that she thought of. I also enjoyed reading her story about Big Momma and Mommy. I would like to hear more about that.

[name]Just[/name] my two cents.

I’ve read this entire message board posting and am baffled by how quickly we are to judge the constructive criticism of others. Since when has empty praise been a good thing? If you ask the question, you need to be prepared to hear the answer.

That said, I would like to address the first poster. Your intention of giving your child a name that stands out from the crowd of everyday "[name]Dick[/name], [name]Jane[/name] and [name]Harry[/name]"s is a good one. However, with all the interesting names that are accessible to you, I believe you can find a name that will make your child stand out, without resorting to alternative spellings. Why don’t you consider the following questions.

What would you like to achieve by having an alternative spelling for your child’s name?
[name]Do[/name] you feel that this name will benefit your child positively?
[name]How[/name] would you like others to react when seeing your child’s name spelled?
What would you like your child to achieve in his/her life?
[name]Do[/name] you feel that their name will help (or hinder) them in achieving their life goals?

In the world we live in, names precede us. They are the book that we are often judged by, as unfair as that may seem. Your child will eventually become an adult and will be applying for higher education, employment and a whole range of things requiring his or her written name. Names are our calling card. Life is hard enough without having to contend with defending our names or proving our capabilities to others, in spite of the names given to us.

[name]Case[/name] in point, would you take me more or less seriously if my name was Erycckah, and not [name]Erika[/name]?

I hope that you carefully consider the advice given to you in the previous posts, rather than dismissing them entirely. Thanks!

I agree with the general substance of the earlier posters. The names themselves are actually quite nice. However, as a teacher, if I saw Jhonny on my class roster, I would think that there was a mistake in the school computer and the name had been entered incorrectly. I don’t feel that the original spellings really do anything to add to the name itself or to set your child apart in any positive/significant way.

Personally I don’t see the appeal of the different spellings. Either way the names will still sound like the classic spellings. Chances are that your child would still go by [name]Krystopher[/name] (insert last initail). I like [name]Jordan[/name] for it’s biblical reference, so I think that’s why I personally don’t like that spelling change, but it is ranked as#747 so it is popular. It seems to me like [name]Kal[/name]-[name]El[/name] is very sci-fi, which doesn’t seem like it would work as well in the professional adult world. I’ve seen just about every version of [name]Michael[/name], so I’m pretty sure that you could get away with an off-beat spelling of that as a middle name.

Your girls names are confusing though. I understand how some people prefer phonetic spellings, but these aren’t even phonetic. Jhonny Vyctorea? You said that this was your grandmother’s name. Was it spelled in this way? If so then I see how you would like to keep it that way. But I think that [name]Jo/namenny [name]Victoria[/name] works just fine. Kaitiya Nechol, seems like a beautiful name with an awful spelling of [name]Nicole[/name].

Maybe instead of using unusual spellings, you could use real unusual names that are similar to your names?

Alternative Names:
Boys:

Kystofer- [name]Christopher[/name], or [name]Kristof[/name]
[name]Jordyn[/name] you could leave it like this- [name]Zebulun[/name](it’s more destinictive)
Mykiel- [name]Michael[/name], [name]Mikko[/name], [name]Meshach[/name], Chikezie, [name]Kelby[/name]
[name]Kal[/name]-[name]El[/name]- [name]Clark[/name], [name]Kent[/name],[name]Bruce[/name], or any of their secret idenity names. This site has all of the
superheroes, Name Nerds! List of the Week

Girls:

KaitiyaI like this one, but I still have other suggestions- [name]Acadia[/name], [name]Katia[/name](real name)
Nechol- [name]Nicole[/name], [name]Nicola[/name], [name]Nichelle[/name]( It’s made up, but it’s also heard of)
JhonnyI’ve seen this before, but I think that you could do a better spelling- [name]Jo/namenny, [name]Joanie[/name], or [name]Billie[/name] (I think [name]Johnnie[/name] works just great though!)
Vyctorea- [name]Victoria[/name], Evera(means brave one according to another site), [name]Tavia[/name], [name]Antonia[/name], [name]Azaria[/name]

I really like your name combinations! Best of luck to you!

I think for Jhonnie for a girl’s name, I would go Italian with [name]Giovanna[/name] and call her [name]Gianny[/name], or use the search function for girl’s names that start with the letters gia for more possibilities of names like it with nicknames of the “johnny” sort. I wonder too if Jhonny is supposed to be pronounce like johnny or zhah-nee, like [name]Zsa[/name] ([name]Zsa[/name]) or [name]Zsanett[/name].

[name]Jane[/name]'s International Variations lists dozens of legitimate and unique (to the US) variations that can sometimes be nicknamed like [name]Johnnie[/name]:
https://nameberry.com/list/46/[name]Janes[/name]-International-Variations

As for the term “downmarket,” eh. It’s kind of snobby but really more realistic. It’s probably the most tactful way to frame such a touchy subject. What kind of aspirations does one have for one’s child and is one aware of the limits some over-saturated trends puts on someone who will have to do more to prove themselves than someone with a classier name? I have heard several mention a name like [name]Giselle[/name], how romantic, it is a classic ballet, how cute, you can call her [name]Gigi[/name] - my male friend the same age as me informs me, [name]Giselle[/name] is a name for strippers. I think it can go both ways, but he in no uncertain terms tells me if a stripper comes into a club with a name like [name]Megan[/name], for professional purposes, she’s going to take a “hot” name, like [name]Giselle[/name], which works exactly like [name]Tiffany[/name].

I think some may feel the same about [name]Amber[/name], a name which is dated and cheapened by popularity which has filtered downward - it is no longer fashion forward or interesting or educated choice; however, I feel it contains such warm and positive qualities, that this cheapness doesn’t bother me - it might bother my child and hinder her chances at a professional level, so we move away from names like this and try to keep up with the flow. It is hard sometimes to figure out where you are and where you think your child will end up.

I don’t think choosing a hipster or yupster name is guarantee of economic future status either - but some names simply have a better outlook based on public perception. My same friend tells me (without reading any of these books or thinking very hard on the subject) it’s not uncommon for middle class to admire and emulate names that have already been discarded by the elite. Some names will appeal less overall and be less susceptible to an unwanted name profile. So yeah, the word “downmarket” comes off as elitist, but when trying to tiptoe around people’s choices, some of us do make it as plain as possible: people do form a mental picture of your child when they see or hear the name, so it’s not really elitist to tell it like it is out in the world.

Well said, [name]Karen[/name]!

Thanks [name]Lyndsay[/name]! I just re-read the whole thread and have to laugh at ‘Buffalo’! I think if people don’t want to know, they can just get their friends to tell them how unique they are and how interesting their choices are. This guarantees you will get people lying to you with a straight smile, and also limits the information you get about what’s all going on around the rest of town. [name]Even[/name] the so-called “elite” type names some people choose do sound like pigeons to me instead of people, but that’s just me. I can hardly tell what’s popular at school, but I often think how will this name hold up 20 years from now when this person is writing resumes and trying to be taken seriously.

As artistic as some people are or even overtly intellectual or romantic, I find it difficult to understand limits by name, and by no means is any name a necessary limit to a serious profession and advanced degree or making lots of friends, but I think some names may be too “vicarious.” With a name like this, they will be the next [name]Beyonce[/name] or some kind of athlete or artist, rather than the wide world of anything they want to be. Unfortunately, this tends to be appealing to people who are themselves artistic or wish to be much wealthier than they are, or famous and rich, that works, and can’t imagine raising a little lawyer or stockbroker, and vice versa - the no-son-of-mine is going to drop out of respectable society and become a starving artist hippie! Lol. Overall, the trend to less common names invites all sorts of interpretations of that trend, some of which are more palatable and some not so much.

Names. Everyone needs one, though. Not everyone overthinks it or needs to or cares. Names aren’t life sentences in the end, but at least as long as people are asking and the name isn’t on paper yet, there’s no reason not to confront the realistic issues. Think of us as the person your son or daughter is applying to for a job. With all things being equal, and in some ways, wouldn’t it be nice if they could be, certain names connote negative qualities and behaviors and others don’t. [name]Do[/name] I think this name negates this person’s resume? Am I wrong for doing so? Of course I am. Can people help it? They can try, but I think whatever’s yucky about someone’s name means the resume has to be extra hard-working to compete with someone of a more pleasing image name. That might have to do with “drama” rather than competency. [name]Will[/name] this person be some sort of diva. With certain names, you can reflect on the parents’ intentions and hazard to guess how this person was raised. It’s distracting and judgmental, but well, that’s what happens. Names really tell a lot more about the parents than the person with the name.

[name]Lyndsay[/name], Zard, [name]Susan[/name], and [name]Jane[/name], I just want to sincerely thank you for taking the time to say what you did on my behalf. Your kind, supportive words mean the world to me (more than you’ll ever know), and I’m truly touched that you spoke out on my behalf. Please know how much I appreciate you!

([name]Erika[/name] and [name]Karen[/name], I know you weren’t speaking on my direct behalf, but I want you to know that everything I wrote above applies to you, too.) :slight_smile:

As for the people I’ve offended, I truly apologize. I love helping people, and I try hard to give honest opinions (the types of honest opinions I hope I’ll receive when I’m trying to name my baby), attempting to word them in the kindest way possible, inserting smileys and warm phrases quite often. That said, I’m human and far from perfect, and my efforts have obviously fallen flat on numerous occasions. As [name]Susan[/name] wrote, tone can’t be heard on the Internet, but I’ll do my best not to unintentionally offend anyone again.

I think Nameberry is an amazing, unique site, and I hope it can go back to being a place where people can post openly and honestly, without fearing retribution in the form of personal attacks. It’s one thing to offer well-intentioned constructive criticism about a name, and quite another thing to personally attack an actual human being who meant no harm.

Best wishes to you all, and have a great night! :slight_smile:

When I first started reading this message board, I saw a few references to private messaging to other posters, but I don’t know if that’s real or how to get into that area if it’s even here, so I go here. I do agree with you mostly [name]Jill[/name], but for the most part, I think it derailed the thread (not of your doing). Which I guess it’s too late for that problem, but maybe there should have been another thread about it, because I’m sure some people are afraid to post and interact and receive negative feedback:

Nobody needed to be accused of anything publicly and it’s a shame it came to that - there’s a lot of reasons people don’t understand for certain terms or input and the internet just wants everyone to like everything sometimes. A few people said the same things, but were not the focus of the derailment. I can sometimes understand people taking things personally - especially when there’s a person or people INSIDE them and worry how they will fare when criticism even exists, constructive or otherwise, in this big bad world.

By the same token, I don’t understand this especially when you want to know how the world will receive the name you have chosen for your child. This is not a pair of slacks you can return to the store or donate to goodwill when in fact they do not flatter you. Can’t change anyone’s mind if they don’t want to, but you lose a lot of purposeful information when you have to smile and like everything or censor yourself when you’re inclined to point out some of the potential problems of a name. In this case, the OP’s friends probably didn’t break it down, they just said no.

Anyone who holds onto a name simply out of spite for you or me or anyone is taking what we’ve said the wrong way. I don’t say they can’t love the name anyway, but spite is just not a good enough reason by itself. So I don’t try to hurt anyone’s feelings, and I know that’s not what anyone’s here to try to do. I think “if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all” should not apply to people looking for suggestions or why their friends and family might offer vague discouragement from a name they love. After the baby is born, it is not the right time for that. Before the baby is officially named is a good time to head off any potential negative issues, so I hope people aren’t too afraid of negative feedback then - you are the adult, while your child will have to actually bear the name - come post with us; and let the person use this information at will. It is for preparation purposes only, and by testimony, this way has obviously helped a lot of people choose the best names. [name]Jill[/name], you’ve been a big part of that, I can see. Everyone just relax, ok!

What I should have said is that I like weird names, but I wouldn’t do that so I was given them weird spellings.
Weird is Altoevise, Yrenia, Yaryee, Simonay, [name]Bryn[/name]. I like the look of weird spelling. I never once said [name]Unique[/name] in the whole post…I actually say that these names belong to other people or that it was a name that I or somebody else liked. There is no such thing as a unique name unless U make one up and I am not that creative. And actually nobody has seen them written, just me say them. This post is the first time I have written them out.
I appreciate you responding, but to be return the brutal honesty, do U go around spelling your name or just saying it?
I am however glad that you like the names.
Thanks![/quote]

Newmommy! I understand what you are saying, but I agree with the other mommies as well… If you are giving your children simple, classic names, Ithink you should keep the spelling simple and classic. Mykiel- I guarantee will be mispronounced endlessly! They will say it with a french accent (“my keeel”), or “my kyle”… you get the picture lol

Either way, good luck!

What about [name]Kristopher[/name] [name]Jordyn[/name]… The first name is still unique by adding the K instead of the traditional C, and “dyn” instead or “dan”

NewMommy, I have to agree with the majority here. The names themselves are mostly good but butchering the spelling that way is just going to handicap your child. I always think of an employer looking at the name on a resume (all they’re seeing is the name on the paper, no idea what they look like, sound like, you get the idea) and thinking “WTF?” It just doesn’t look good.

I work at a library and we often have to call patrons about items they’ve forgotten or turned in by mistake, and I really hate calling someone whose name I have no idea how to pronounce or whether they might be a man or a woman. It’s so embarrassing.

Also, to me (JMO here) when you add a “Y” to a name it makes it look more feminine (as in the case of [name]Jordyn[/name] vs. [name]Jordan[/name].) I would assume a “[name]Jordyn[/name]” would be a girl and a “[name]Jordan[/name]” would be a boy. [name]Just[/name] something to think about. Good luck!

Newmommy, my apologies - you’re right that you never said you were looking for unique. I assumed this due to the strange spellings.

But I ferverently believe that the spelling of a name IS as important as its sound: Our name is used in all official & legal documents. It identifies us to the greater world, more and more so now with the internet. Not only does your written name precede you, potentially prejudicing teachers or judges or employers etc, but it is needed for everything from credit cards to bank accounts to airline tickets to marriage certificates. If it gets mispelled half the time, it could really be a huge pain in the ass.

Let’s not forget that a name is more than an existential representation of who we think we are (or who we want our children to become) but also a practical way to identify ourselves in (an increasingly bureaucratic) world.

(and ps jill, my apologies as I feel somewhat responsible for the “derailing” of the conversation - if it came out as a personal attack I apologize. My issue was with the term “downmarket” which I don’t like at all and have negative reactions too, and this is not a term of your making. However now I understand more clearly what it means)

[name]Hi[/name] there, [name]Moxie[/name], and thanks.:slight_smile: [name]Don[/name]'t worry about it! I knew (well, at least I really hoped) that you were referring to the term, and not to me. :slight_smile: Have a great night!

I’d still really like to know what a Big Momma is?