Apologies if this doesn’t make sense, I’m a little sick and can try to rephrase in a couple of days. For context, my sister has an unusual name that’s pretty constantly misspelled. I shared my top two realistically-I-would-use-them boy names with her, [name_m]Oliver[/name_m] [name_f]Willow[/name_f] and [name_m]Isidore[/name_m] [name_m]Ocean[/name_m] “Izzy”, and she was. [name_f][/name_f]. [name_f][/name_f]. less excited than I thought she would be (‘excited’ isn’t really the right word. [name_f][/name_f]. [name_f][/name_f]. enthusiastic? IDK). She thinks that my sons would be teased for having ‘girl names’. She said, “Kids are cruel,” and basically flat-out told me not to use the names. Admittedly, I think that if I were a little kid, it would take a little getting used to to have a male [name_f]Izzy[/name_f] in my class, but I don’t think that it would be that much of a problem. [name_f]My[/name_f] sister was teased in second and third grades for her name, not because it’s a ‘boy name’ (although it typically is) but because of its similarity to a piece of sports equipment. I was also teased, for other things, and it’s my view that almost every kid is going to get teased about something. If anything, having a potentially teaseable name sort of predicts where the teasing might come from most, so that I could already have strategies in mind if my kids come home with that problem? Also, I tend to like more feminine boy names in general (Soren [name_f]Lavender[/name_f] is on my lists, and I have a character named [name_m]Henry[/name_m] Hazel), whereas my sister prefers more masculine ones, so could this just be a matter of opinion? She thinks my top girl names (Olive [name_f]Elizabeth[/name_f] and [name_f]Margaret[/name_f] Amalia) are fine. [name_f][/name_f]Yes, I know I’m most likely overthinking this! I also don’t ever plan to actually get pregnant or give birth, so I probably won’t actually name my kids ([name_f][/name_f] ). [name_m]Even[/name_m] so, what do you all think?
I think it’s fine, especially as they’re middle names or nicknames. The odds of your children going to school with equal numbers of boys and girls named [name_m]Charlie[/name_m], [name_m]Parker[/name_m], [name_f]Tatum[/name_f], etc. is ever-increasing, and, like you said, children can be teased for anything.
I don’t think either name is an issue. [name_f]Willow[/name_f] would be in the middle, he doesn’t have to share it with people if he doesn’t want to. I’ve personally known several male Izzy’s (all short for Israel). That one they might tease for, but they might not. I agree that every kid will likely get teased for something and don’t consider either of these names “cruel.”
after working in preschool for a few years, I have to push back on the idea that “kids are cruel” because I don’t believe that [name_f][/name_f]— adults are cruel, and kids pick up on the behavior when it’s shown to them that it’s acceptable to behave that way.
[name_f][/name_f]
kids are growing up with more unisex names than ever before. if they understand that some names are shared with other people, then they understand that this is why they have a girl classmate named [name_m]Charlie[/name_m] and a brother named [name_m]Charlie[/name_m]. kids aren’t born with inherent knowledge of boy and girl names, these are associations they learn and make themselves.
[name_f][/name_f]
and it’s not a forgone conclusion that kids will even care about these associations after making them. I remember a time when I was a kid when I met a little boy named [name_f]Sasha[/name_f] and asked my friends if they thought it was weird he had such a girly name. they agreed it was a girly name but didn’t find it weird, instead they found it cute. my sister grew up with “boy-Aidan” and “girl-Aidyn” in her grade, and no one thought it was strange. I think this is 100% a nonissue
I know an [name_f]Izzy[/name_f] who is a boy! [name_f][/name_f] His full name is Izri (a variant of [name_m]Ezra[/name_m] I believe). [name_f][/name_f] I think [name_f]Izzy[/name_f] for a boy is fine. [name_f][/name_f] Cute for him especially!
[name_f][/name_f]
[name_f]Willow[/name_f] feels more feminine but it feels fine as a middle. [name_f][/name_f] Especially with the potential for [name_m]Will[/name_m] as a nn.
[name_f][/name_f]
I feel like this are comparable to my mom and sister being horrified over my love of [name_f]Beatrix[/name_f] and Madelief… there are much worse names out there lol. [name_f][/name_f] [name_m]Oliver[/name_m] [name_f]Willow[/name_f] and [name_m]Isidore[/name_m] [name_m]Ocean[/name_m] are lovely names! [name_f][/name_f] Plus [name_f]Willow[/name_f] and [name_m]Ocean[/name_m] are nature names and thus conceivably unisex.
Yes!! The only time I’ve ever heard of a child being teased for their name was when I went to junior high with a girl called SWéët C0ncêpt!0n. There are very few names that could be given that would be on that level. I’ve taught/known boys called H@ven and Méss!iah, girls called L0ve, etc., and no child ever made a peep about it. This is especially true in 2025.
[name_f][/name_f]
Furthermore, the fact that [name_f]Willow[/name_f] would be a middle name and [name_f]Izzy[/name_f] would be a nickname makes them all the more usable. Hardly anyone would ever know Oliver’s middle name, so few problems could really arise from that. Likewise, if a boy called [name_m]Isidore[/name_m] “Izzy” one day decided he didn’t like having a feminine-leaning nickname, he could always decide to go by something else. These truly seem like best-case scenarios in terms of navigating unusual and gender-bending names.
The thing is, [name_m]Oliver[/name_m] [name_f]Willow[/name_f] could go by [name_m]Will[/name_m] or [name_m]Ollie[/name_m] or Oliver; [name_m]Isidore[/name_m] [name_m]Ocean[/name_m] could be [name_m]Sid[/name_m] or [name_m]Rory[/name_m] if he wanted [name_f][/name_f]- and well, working in a fairly multi-cultural school, students have all kinds of names [name_f][/name_f] [name_f][/name_f]- that’s just how it is
[name_f][/name_f]
Obviously, your sister has experience of being teased about her name so that’s the perspective she’s seeing it through. I think you have to acknowledge that [name_f][/name_f]- and remember that she it’s what her mind will always go to [name_f][/name_f]- it doesn’t mean your kids will be teased for their names, but its understandable why your sister might bring that into her opinions
I’m extremely pro feminine names on boys so I’m biased, but I love [name_f]Willow[/name_f] and [name_f]Izzy[/name_f] as boys names! and [name_m]Isidore[/name_m] is so so cool and underrated!
[name_f][/name_f]
I think [name_f]Willow[/name_f] is pretty neutral sounding even if its way more popular for girls. I’ve always thought that because of its masc sound and nature origin it’s a perfect candidate for crossover from girls to boys. And as a middle especially it feels v low risk to me.
[name_f][/name_f]
[name_m]Little[/name_m] kids are still forming their frame of reference for which names are normal, and its based on the names of people they know. So kids will much more readily accept names as unisex when they meet a male [name_f]Izzy[/name_f] or [name_f]Willow[/name_f] or [name_f]Leslie[/name_f] or [name_f]Fern[/name_f] or whatever. It’s adults who are more likely to project gendered expectations and judgements about names.
[name_f][/name_f]
I was a genderqueer kid and found other children (up to about age 11 when they were suddenly instilled with the prejudices of their parents) were readily accepting of that, while adults around me would sometimes try to discourage it under the guise of protecting me from bullying that wasn’t actually happening anyway, except from those very adults who claimed to be protecting me from it.
[name_f][/name_f]
As adults, we should not let ourselves or our children be held hostage by the same judgement that hurt us as children. We should name our children things that we love regardless of gender, and we should make more space for boys to be feminine rather than preparing boys for a world that is misogynistic.
[name_f][/name_f]
(Also kids are named all kinds of crazy shit these days anyway lol, your [name_f]Izzy[/name_f] would probably be getting bullied by a kids named Maverique and Dextopher about something that has nothing to do with his name anyway.)
[name_f][/name_f] 
). [name_m]Even[/name_m] so, what do you all think?
[name_f][/name_f] I appreciate it