Pregnancy has been hard but the most difficult thing has got to be finding a name. The problem is that I am really picky and every name that has been suggested to me I have disliked so far. That was until I met a little girl with the name [name_m]Jasper[/name_m] and it was like something clicked. I knew in that instant that [name_m]Jasper[/name_m] was the one.
But everyone hates it on a girl apparently. My husband and parents immediately said no. I’ve been crying so much these past few weeks because I finally find a name I love and everyone hates it. I don’t want to compromise. I don’t want to have it as a middle name.
I hate the name [name_f]Jasmine[/name_f] and I like [name_m]Jasper[/name_m] for it’s sound and not it’s meaning so any names with the same meaning won’t do either. I don’t want to settle. This is my first child. I have a very good chance of having trouble with the bonding process and my doctor agrees that having a name that I’m attached to will help with relationship development.
I also sort of like the names [name_u]Vesper[/name_u], [name_u]Zephyr[/name_u], and [name_m]Griffon[/name_m] but definitely not as much as [name_m]Jasper[/name_m].
I don’t know what to do. Is [name_m]Jasper[/name_m] really that bad for a girl? Surely with all of strange names people give their children today (especially celebrities!) [name_m]Jasper[/name_m] would be tame against them?
If your husband does not like it then I think you should keep looking as both of you should love the name you choose, or at least like it a lot. I don’t think [name_m]Jasper[/name_m] would be easy for a girl to wear and there are thousands of names out there so I hope you are able to find one that both of you love. All the best.
I’m not a fan. It’s not the word possible name, but to me it feels the same as if you were suggesting calling your daughter [name_m]Jack[/name_m]. But, my opinion doesn’t really matter that much. If your husband really dislikes it, you need to move on. As a couple, you need to find a name that you both strongly like.
I’ve met a little girl named [name_m]Jasper[/name_m] - it’s not THAT weird. It’ll definitely get comments though, and she might continue to get them throughout her life so that’s something to think about.
None of the names he suggests are any that I like and like I said I am not willing to settle. If a single name can help me bond better with my baby than I’m willing to risk being selfish for once. I’ve gone through every single baby book I own and yet still I am stuck on [name_m]Jasper[/name_m]. Shouldn’t that say something?
It says you like the name, sure. But why would a name you like but he hates be much more valid than a name he likes and you hate? If you’re raising the child as a couple, you need a name you like as a couple.
It sounds like you’ve made up your mind that your daughter is [name_m]Jasper[/name_m]. So call her [name_m]Jasper[/name_m], and if your husband doesn’t like it, perhaps he can choose a full name option that he can call her (like [name_f]Jasmine[/name_f]).
My father named me [name_f]Joanna[/name_f] and my mother would only agree if she could call me [name_u]Joey[/name_u]. It worked out well; they were both happy.
[name_m]Even[/name_m] if [name_m]Jasper[/name_m] is a nickname, that might be the compromise to make so you can call her the name you feel in your bones is the right name.
I have a [name_m]Jasper[/name_m] myself and can atest to it’s gorgeousness as a name. Technically it’s a gemstone and therefore an element of nature, so though historically it’s usage has been male you can still name a girl it. I do have to stress though the importance of working to find an equally loved or at least well-liked name.
If you can’t stand [name_f]Jasmine[/name_f] and love [name_m]Jasper[/name_m], try to think what is it about [name_m]Jasper[/name_m] you love so much: the sound, the nature element… My [name_m]Jasper[/name_m]'s twin sister is a Larkspur which is a flower name unusual for people, but it shares the last syllable sound.
Other names you might like: [name_f]Poppy[/name_f], [name_f]Jessamine[/name_f], [name_u]Vesper[/name_u] or Hesper (both refer to the evening star), [name_f]Cora[/name_f], [name_f]Coral[/name_f], [name_f]Esther[/name_f], [name_u]Harper[/name_u], [name_u]Juniper[/name_u] and [name_f]Pearl[/name_f].
Maybe because it’s my body that’s going through the change to bring a life into the world? Because I’m the one that’s throwing up every single day multiple times, with horrible migraines, and stomach pain so bad that at times it brings me to my knees? Because I’m the one that has to deal with the changes pregnancy is doing to my body and I have to pretend that I don’t hate the way it’s making me look all while he sits back and does absolutely nothing?
I did not plan to have this child. [name_f]Every[/name_f] single moment of this pregnancy has been complete hell. I’m actually starting to have regrets ever deciding to go through with this, horrible as that thought may be, it’s true so shouldn’t I get to have at least ONE say in my child’s name if it will help make all of this just a little bit better?
It does not sound like you came here for advice or opinions. [name_m]Just[/name_m] name her [name_m]Jasper[/name_m] and tell everyone in your life who disagrees to get over it.
Agreed. If you don’t care for other people’s opinion, don’t ask for them. [name_m]Don[/name_m]’t ask for opinions and then get offended when someone doesn’t like the thing you like.
Would you and your husband be willing to compromise by having [name_m]Jasper[/name_m] (your choice) be the first name and his choice being the middle name? And he (and others) can call her by either name?
Because, honestly, if you’re not even willing to give him a say in her name, how much are you willing to give him a say in ANY parenting decisions?
I know a girl [name_m]Jasper[/name_m], she goes by [name_m]Jazzy[/name_m]. At first I thought it was unusual, but it really seems to fit her after I got to know her. I think it works out that way with most names. Once they’re born, they grow into their names. Of course, your hubby would definitely have to be on board!
I can definitely relate to where you’re coming from and it’s such a hard spot to be in. My first pregnancy was grueling both physically and emotionally. It was such a relief when I had my baby, and we bonded instantly despite my fears. Like yours, my first pregnancy was also unplanned, and I know what it’s like to feel a degree of resentment to the husband because during those nine months everything changes for the mother and her body, but nothing really changes for the father until the child is born. If a name is going to help you bond with the baby before she’s born, I think that’s valid and important.
I would suggest a 3d ultrasound if you can afford the expense - it really helped me bond with my baby before she was born. Surprisingly it also helped with the naming process. During the ultrasound, I was able to see my baby’s face very clearly (you could too if baby’s in the right position).This made me realize “She doesn’t look like a _____” and it helped me choose one name over another before she was born.
FWIW, I think [name_m]Jasper[/name_m] is very cool for a girl. Good luck!
So many thoughts came while reading this thread.
[name_m]Jasper[/name_m] is a word name and could be unisex but there is soooooo much pop culture where [name_m]Jasper[/name_m] is a boys name. It would be a shock if I saw [name_m]Jasper[/name_m] and a girl walked in, at least to me. Maybe bring it up with your baby daddy (boyfriend/husband IDK as some of your replies saying his opinion is invalid in naming his daughter doesn’t sound like a relationship, regardless of if the baby was or was not wanted) that you do love this name and suggest Nicknames more feminine to use like [name_m]Jas[/name_m] or [name_m]Jazzy[/name_m].
Choosing another name?
I am unsure on how much you have looked into names especially with the help of the Nameberrians but maybe look at what you really love in [name_m]Jasper[/name_m] might lead you to more names that the father will be happy with?
So if you like the -per sound [name_u]Juniper[/name_u], [name_u]Piper[/name_u]. If you like the [name_m]Jas[/name_m]- sound [name_f]Jasia[/name_f]? If you like the -as- sound [name_u]Aspen[/name_u], [name_f]Asta[/name_f], [name_f]Astra[/name_f], [name_f]Cassiopeia[/name_f], [name_f]Hasel[/name_f]/[name_f]Hazel[/name_f].
And if all that fails do you have a 2nd favourite for a girl? [name_m]Jasper[/name_m] could be a middle name?
I know my sentence in brackets above may be considered rude (lack of a better word) but if he is there helping you then he does deserve the right to at least like the name so he can bond with bub as well.
I agree with you, OP, that [name_m]Jasper[/name_m] is perfectly reasonable for a girl given current naming trends - I think it feels more girl than [name_u]James[/name_u], for instance, which has had a spike in use for girls after [name_u]Ryan[/name_u] [name_m]Reynolds[/name_m] and [name_u]Blake[/name_u] Lively used it. Yes, I would be surprised that a [name_m]Jasper[/name_m] was a girl as its more expected for a boy, but it would suit a girl just fine.
I also agree with previous posters, however, that if its a strong no from the baby’s other parent (and that parent will be involved in their life and care) then it probably shouldn’t be used, no matter how much everything feels like a compromise.
My husband pressured me into & completely chose the name for baby #3 & I’ve been distraught & disconnected from it ever since. Full disclosure: this is a small glimpse into what happened, but I’m not gonna lay it all out here.
Personally, Jasper isn’t my favorite name for a girl, but neither was Fallon (friend’s little girl) and I love it now because it fits her so well.
I know it can be hard coming up with a name you both love. I loved Vera and my husband hated it. So I went with Violet, which turned out even better! With that being said, maybe she could be a Jasmine that goes by Jasper?
Or, you can use the Nameberry name generator to try to find another name that gives you the sound you want that you both like. Try to figure out which component of the name you like.
Last bit of advice: do not disclose the name to any family until after you and husband name her. People close to us often think they’re entitled to help name the child. You can always take suggestions, but keep it a surprise until after you’ve signed the birth certificate.
I don’t particularly like Jasper on a girl, but that’s irrelevant because your husband doesn’t like it.
If he’s not willing to use it then you need to let it go. You might not want to compromise, but that is part of parenting with a partner! I think you would have to use it as a middle if you’re still attached to it.