Jealousy

So I feel little silly even writting this, but its the only place I can as it is “anonymous”
My friend just got engaged to her boyfriend of 4 years, I am very happy for them. He is a great guy, and I only want the best for her… but I have been with my boyfriend for 5 years, and still have not gotten enaged… We’re at “that” age, when lots of friends are getting enaged, married, having babies, buying houses… We just bought a house together, about 6 months ago, and I know we will be together forever. We plan on having children together soon, we are unofficially trying for one … Am I stupid for being jealous of my girlfriend? Shes the 2nd in our “group” to be engaged this year. 2 of my neightbours who I have become close with, as they are both aroundmy age, have announced pregnancies since [name]Ive[/name] met them. and a lady accross the street from me is about to pop, 3 girls at work just in the last 6 months haave given birth, and one will give birth any day now.
I love my life, and I know we just bought a house together (a fixer upper, so money is tight) but I cant help but getting a horrible pit in my stomach everytime I hear other peoples joyous news.

[name]Don[/name]'t feel silly, I feel the same exact way. I live with my boyfriend of three years, we are only renting, and we are actively preventing! You at least have more accomplished than I do! Seriously, nearly all of my friends and coworkers are either engaged and planning a wedding, married and trying, or having their first, second, or third child! It is extremely difficult to not be jealous, and I for one am not strong enough to fight the jealous feelings. I think about it everyday, multiple times each day, and then some. I try to babysit as much as I can - it gives me a “baby fix” for a short while. I constantly “plan” out my future, day dream about how or when my boyfriend will propose, fantasize about my wedding, and long to be a mother. And just recently, all of these feelings have been super intense - I don’t know why. I hope talking about it will help, I already feel better knowing someone else is feeling the same way. :slight_smile:

[name]May[/name] I ask how old you are?
I just turned 24. (Which I know is young) Growing up, I just had these “goals” I would set for myself… I always wanted and mpstly assumed I would be married and have a child by the time I was 22, now I see that was unrealistic. At 22 I was still in college, working a job I hated… Now Im 24, done school, and have been working at a great job for almost 2 years.
But honestly, I just feel incomplete without having a child in my life. I want to get married before I have a child, but money wise I just know it wont happen… Which makes me angry, why should I sacrifice my childhood dream of a wedding with my family there, my dream dress… marrying the person I love… Because of money.
It angers me.
I want to be happy for the other people in my life but I juts seem to have to force it.

Oh, and if I can offer some advice. Save ALL your money before you buy… and take your time. This house, as much as it is my dream house and I love it. Is sucking me DRY.

I am 24, almost 25. I’ve been working my dream job for 3 years and dating the man I want to spend my life with for 3 years. I too had a plan for my life, married by 25, children by 30. That’s not gonna happen! It’s almost depressing seeing eveyone else move forward while I am STUCK. At least that’s how it feels.

I was married at 21 and a mom at 22…and an ex-wife at 25. Younger isn’t always better. He and I both changed SOO much over those 4 years and we really grew into different people (he also grew into a person who owes about 10k in back child support…) It really is hard sometimes, though, on the outside watching without knowing all the private dynamics.

I know this thread is old, but I just had to comment! I think it helps sometimes just to express these feelings and get them off your chest.
I am almost 26 and have been married for 1 year (this month). We bought a fixer upper before we were married and it is now renovated and we are living happily in it but while I have a job that is secure and well paid, it is not what I expected I would be doing…my career has stalled because of this good job (how can I leave when the pay is so good?) and my own lack of confidence to put myself out there. On top of this, DH and I tried and got pregnant about six months ago, only to have it end up being ectopic (in my tube). I was off work for 2 months and in and out of the hospital. It was a horrible and heartbreaking experience. I get so jealous when girls in my workplace announce their accidental (or not) pregnancies (which happens constantly, at least 10 girls are pregnant - there is about 350 employees, mostly women). DH and I have finally been cleared to start trying again by the doctor (we had to wait 3 months after I was better, all in all it took 6 months from start to finish) but I can’t help but get down sometimes about how my plans for the future have failed so epically. 1. have a great career before I am ready to have children - nope, 2. have that career, and children before age 25 - nope.

When I feel like this I tend to talk to my mother about it (thank god for her) and she does a wonderful job of reminding me that life isn’t perfect and that I need to focus on the things I do have. I have a wonderful loving husband (we have been together 8 years this [name]June[/name] :smiley: ) [name]Both[/name] he and I have stable jobs, a nice home, and a cute little puppy, we also have our health (for the most part). I am actually very lucky, but I can definitely relate to that feeling in the pit of your stomach when another woman announces her happy news.

Anyway, I hope everyone is well, I think I’m going to go give my DH a kiss :stuck_out_tongue: