Jems Sleep Patterns- Help? Also Montessori Style Bed

Once again I come to you amazing moms for some advice!

[name_u]Jem[/name_u] will be four months old on [name_f]July[/name_f] 3rd, and I’m concerned about his eat/sleep patterns. Especially at night. He went from doing a 6-7 hour stretch to waking every couple hours and being really restless.

His routine has been a bit off too. He used to eat every 3 hours for the first two months. Then for the past almost 2 months, he has been eating every 1.5-2.5 hours. His weight gain has also slowed a bit, but not enough to worry his pediatrician.

His daytime routine looks like this lately- wake-6
Eat-6
Sleep 7:30-8:15
Eat 8:15
Sleep 9:45-12:30
Eat 10:30, 11:30, 12:30 ( he wake twice during his nap to eat. He wakes grumpy and will stay grumpy until I feed him. I know he is still tired when he wakes up grumpy.)
Sleep 2-2:30
Eat 2:30

The afternoon depends on him. But usually e takes another 30-45 min nap mid afternoon, then has his bath at 6 and is asleep by 7. Then he wake two- three times (every hour or two) until me and my husband go to bed. He usually cosleeps with us at night just because I usually fall asleep feeding him. I’m nor sure how many times i feed him at night. Probably one good feeding, and a couple small ones.

What I’m wondering-

  1. Maybe he is not getting enough at each feeding? Maybe he wakes up because he really is hungry? If he wasn’t hungry wouldn’t he be able to calm down with some rocking and a paci? I mean, he SCREAMS until I feed him, and I’m afraid to NOT feed him in case it is more than just a comfort thing!
  2. We’ve been trying to get him into sleeping in the crib, and shortening the rocking rituals every night and before naps. It usually involves bouncing him for 20 minutes, rocking him 20 minutes into a deep sleep, then putting him down. So instead I’ve just been putting him in our bed while he is awake and Laying next to him. With very little effort on my part (besides just lying there) he goes to sleep. But now, when he is upset, he refuses to rock or bounce to sleep with my husband. He HAS to he in bed with me. In considering putting his crib mattress on the floor so i can lay with him and at least getting him into his own bed!
  3. He is SO restless in bed with us at night. From 2-3am onwards he is just flailing everywhere. I feel like no one is getting any sleep any more!!

It was going so well- what am I doing wrong? And what should I do?? Please help, we are all cranky an exhausted over here!

I think that the idea of putting your mattress on the floor with his crib mattress next to it is a good one. I would look into how to do this safely- I imagine that there might be a risk of him rolling into the crack between the matresses. I know that they make those co-sleepers that sidecar onto your bed, would something like that be an option for you?

I am sorry that sleep is such a struggle right now! I hope that thing improve for you soon.

Going in the opposite direction, have you tried putting him his own room to sleep? I tried this at six months expecting to prove my husband wrong- he insisted that we were waking the baby up. The first night we tried it, the baby slept twelve hours straight.

Babies are known to have sleep regression between 3-5 months when their sleep patterns are shifting closer to those of an adult. It takes longer for them to enter into a deep sleep and they have more periods of lighter sleep.

For fear of a child slipping between the mattresses I’d check into a cosleeper. That way [name_u]Jem[/name_u] is right there next to you but he had a separate sleeping space.

You are experiencing the 4 month old wakeful period. Its related to progression of cognitive development. Its a good sign, but it’s going to make you miserable.

I agree with other’s suggestions of a cosleeper. [name_f]My[/name_f] son flailed all night long even when he was asleep for months. Now is the time to set up a situation to maximize everyone’s sleep. I kept my son next to the bed in a pack-n-play.

[name_f]My[/name_f] son didnt sleep through the night for 18 months. The advice our pediatrician gave us over and over again was to put him in his bed before he falls asleep. That way he’s not confused when he wakes up and is no longer being held. She said it was fine to let him fuss. Also not to pick him up everytime he cried at night. Let him know you are there, rub him belly, or shush him instead.

Of course I didn’t have the heart to resist picking him up and rocking him. It ultimately led to 18 months of no sleeping. Good luck setting up some boundaries!

So there are a number if good suggestions here, and there is no one right answer, it’s a lot of trial and error until you figure out what works for you. One thing I noticed, and I’ve certainly read this in a number of books, is that many first time parents unwittingly make things worse for themselves by waking up a child that was just noisily transitioning in their sleep, or thinking they need us to sleep when our presence just wakes them up. [name_f]My[/name_f] kids pop up like toast as soon as I walk into their room, and they’ve been like that since about five months I think. it is hard, but it’s ok if they cry/are noisy for a few of minutes before picking them up/checking up on them. Thats not sleep training and it won’t hurt them. (Not that I’m anti-sleep training or anything)