I just learned the other day that my cousin, who I’m very close to, is using our longtime boy middle name pick (Elwyn) as a first name for his boy due this [name_f]May[/name_f]. I feel I have to concede as we’re not having a boy anytime soon, but I’m pretty bummed out about it.
Some family members are saying I should plan to use it anyway, since it would be a middle name in our case and a different last name, but… I just don’t want to. I guess I have too many hangups about repeating family names in the same generation, even if it’s objectively not a big deal. It’s especially rough since it’s not an especially common name, so it stands out more.
What’s also tough is that it took a lot for SO and I to agree on the name to begin with, and we both absolutely love [name_u]Jude[/name_u] [name_m]Elwyn[/name_m] as a combo and have gotten a lot of compliments on it from those we’ve mentioned it to. We’ve been pretty set on it for the past couple of years now. I can’t imagine a combo I’d love more or even as much as [name_u]Jude[/name_u] [name_m]Elwyn[/name_m]. But it just feels like it’s now off-limits, at least in my mind. Am I crazy? And any new suggestions for a [name_u]Jude[/name_u] middle? I don’t want it to share a lot of sounds with [name_m]Elwyn[/name_m] – I’d rather it just be a completely new name – but I would like it to be similarly “soft,” maybe a little vintage, and on the less popular side.
Wow. [name_f]My[/name_f] DH’s very best friends are announcing the name of their baby boy today and I’m silently hoping they didn’t pick our top name because it took us forever to agree on it as well (girl names were way easier for some reason?)
So I totally get why this is a huge bummer but I totally understand not wanting to use it! Did they know about it? [name_f]Pretty[/name_f] sucky of them if they did. If not, still sucks but is less stingy.
A few suggestions with the same vibe/feel/vintage/softness:
Your child would be the second cousin to the little [name_m]Elwyn[/name_m] in question. Of course, your close family will know they share that connection, but the rest of the world — and the large, large majority of people your son will interact with in his life — will not know. To most of the world, [name_m]Elwyn[/name_m] will still be an unexpected, likely never heard before, and stunning middle name.
So sorry to hear that !! If I were you, I’d keep [name_m]Elwyn[/name_m] on the table since it’s only a middle name, but there’s nothing wrong with considering some alternatives. Maybe…
I can understand this - I’m not sure I could use a name if my cousins wanted to use it, especially one so distinctive. (Not saying you couldn’t/shouldn’t, but I get the feeling)
I’d say for now, keep [name_u]Jude[/name_u] [name_m]Elwyn[/name_m] on the list, in case your cousin changes his mind - but, as you’re doing, start looking for new option!
I’m sorry for the “loss” of the name. It’s ok to grieve it before you come up with a new name. It’s also completely ok if you decide after all that you’d like to use it anyway–there isn’t a wrong answer in this scenario.
Some [name_u]Jude[/name_u] middles I liked the sound of:
I understand feeling disappointed. It’s not what you envisioned happening. It makes me wonder if there is a family connection to [name_m]Elwyn[/name_m] or if it’s one of those coincidences. It’s not a name I ever hear being talked about.
I’d like to suggest from my extended list:
[name_u]Jude[/name_u] [name_m]Clemens[/name_m]
[name_u]Jude[/name_u] [name_m]Marlon[/name_m]
[name_u]Jude[/name_u] [name_m]Ferris[/name_m]
[name_u]Jude[/name_u] [name_m]Seamus[/name_m]
[name_u]Jude[/name_u] [name_m]Emilian[/name_m]
[name_u]Jude[/name_u] [name_m]Ignatius[/name_m]
[name_u]Jude[/name_u] [name_u]Hollis[/name_u]