So I just got home from work, and on my dinner break… a group of younger girls were chatting about another co-worker, who Idsay is 22-ish… she just ahd a baby girl, and I guess has been (according to my chatty co-workers) “going out alot”… she leaves the baby with either her mother, or the baby’s father (they aren’t together) I was just wondering… for such a young, single mom… what is the “right amount” of personal life meets mommy-duty?? Is going out once a week Ok? Does it depend what you are doing (movies vs. drinks/bars) I really wouldn’t want to comment, since I am not a mom… and my new-mom do-worker seems like a great person, she is currently on maternity leave as her daughter is 2 months old, so I havent seen her much since she has become a new mom… but the conversation in my staff room, made me want to ask all of you… whats the balance?
I think that no matter how much you love your child, there is always going to be a time when you just need either some alone time (maybe a relaxing bath or a romantic comedy without interruptions) or some fun relaxing time with friends or your partner. I have one daughter, and when she was a newborn (first year - we adopted her when she was 7 months, so for me, the first year was really just three months), I definitely needed some time “off” occasionally even though I loved spending time with her.
For me, though, it was mostly going to see a movie with friends (hubby stays home - he would sometimes go out with the boys as well, usually to play hockey or soccer though) or we would leave her with my older sister and go out to a nice restaurant, and it was usually only for two or three hours. We never went to bars or parties and stayed out until past midnight or the entire night. And it was usually only about once every two weeks.
I think that once you have a child, their life becomes your life, but that doesn’t mean that you have to give up completely the life you had before. Going out occasionally for short amounts of time just to relax or hang out with adults can actually make the time you spend with your child even more precious, and I think can improve your relationship/time together. I don’t think you should be going out every night or even really multiple times a week, especially if its just to party and stay out all night.
But, this is just my opinion and what I’ve experienced. I’ve never really been into drinking and partying anyway, so I much prefer a snuggly romantic movie with the hubs or a funny rom com with the girls for two hours, and then running back home to my baby girl 
There is no “right amount”. I was 23 when my son was born, though I was married so that changes things, but I never went out and partied. I have many friends who often leave their babies at home and go out and drink (get drunk) and act entirely as if they have no children, and they do it often (multiple times a week). While that’s not what I personally would feel comfortable with, it’s really not anyones place to judge. Babies are hard work, especially as a single mother. People blow off steam in different ways. It is very easy to judge that behavior, but as long as the baby is safe at home there’s really nothing you can say. If that’s how the mother can balance her social and home life, then so be it.
Personally, though… I could never do it. I would be constantly worried about my baby. I have only left him at night maybe 3 times in his 16 months. I guess it’s because I already went through the party stage, and I’m over it, and I was over it long before I had a baby. To me, spending time with him is a million times more important than drinking with friends. I can imagine feeling differently if the baby was a major accident and you feel sort of cheated out of your “life”.