Just got into it with my mother over a name...

Ok, first of all – I am not currently pregnant. I am TTC and am someone who has had my top list of baby names picked out since I was in middle school (with obvious variations as the years went on). Anyway, I am totally annoyed right now because my sister is due in February 2014 and so baby names have been the topic of many discussions. Well, my family knows I have loved the name [name_f]Elle[/name_f] for a girl since forever and that has been fine until last night when my mom decided that [name_f]Elle[/name_f] did not go with my husband’s last name (Otens)…she said “That’s a terrible name” and “I know you’ve always loved [name_f]Elle[/name_f], but you’re going to have to get over it now that you didn’t think of that when you married [name_m]Chad[/name_m].” I told her to just leave it alone, but she kept going on and on suggesting my husband take his mother’s maiden name or even that WE ALL change our name to HER maiden name…ugh I am so mad because I’m wondering if she has just forever ruined [name_f]Elle[/name_f] for me? Is this what I am going to think about every time I introduce her? That I chose a terrible name for my daughter? Has anyone else had someone’s opinion of a name just stick in your mind and change how you thought about it?

Obviously I know this is super premature, but it’s something so present in my mind right now and I need some support.

I’m sorry you had to go through that. [name_m]How[/name_m] sad for her to be so insensitive! I would just not bring it up and hope she moves on. It’s your life, daughter, and family. I think [name_f]Elle[/name_f] Otens sounds lovely and you shouldn’t ever feel you chose a terrible name for your daughter when she comes. I don’t share names with my mother because If I really [name_f]LOVE[/name_f] a name I would wait until the baby is born and then make the whole announcement and hope everyone keeps their opinions to themselves. I wouldn’t let this ruin [name_f]Elle[/name_f] for you, especially since you’ve loved it for a long time. Good luck with everything!

[name_m]Just[/name_m] ignore her & keep doin’ what you’re doin’. Your mom had her turn to name her babies & now she needs to step back & let you have your turn.

The suggestion that everyone take her maiden name is absurd. It sounds like she just wants to be (really, really) involved.

You might have to explain it to me, because I just can’t figure out what’s so bad about [name_f]Elle[/name_f] Otens? It sounds fine to me. Unless there’s something I’m missing, it sounds like she’s just trying to take control of the situation. Does she have a problem with your husband? That’s what the “you should have thought of that before you married him” comment makes me think. It all sounds pretty absurd. Ignore her and name your baby whatever you want. She already had a chance to name her kids, it’s your turn now.

I think [name_f]Elle[/name_f] Otens sounds fantastic and really memorable! Could you mom have been teasing you a bit? If not, I would just ignore it as she has no say in the decision. My mom made complaints about both my kids names. I just ignored her and of course, she loves the names now. It was important that my husband and I loved the names. Now, I might listen if she had a legitimate concern like a name that had great potential for teasing or her mortal enemy had the same name. But, everyone has an opinion and you will NEVER please everyone with your decisions. She will get over it.

Like I said, [name_f]Elle[/name_f] Otens sounds great and you should definitely keep such an awesome name that you love!

Thank you for the responses!!

  1. My mom thinks [name_f]Elle[/name_f] Otens sounds like “Hello” and that’s what’s wrong with it. She thinks it must have a hard ending sound to be put before that vowel.

  2. My mom really loves my husband, but she just is someone who needs to be involved and right all the time. I can’t tell you how many times she badgers me about my pregnant sister exercising bc, according to her: “All your energy needs to go to the baby.” Which is well-known to be incorrect, but she just guilt’s you into thinking you’re the worst mother ever sometimes…and I’m not even pregnant yet, but it makes me want to move to another planet while I am pregnant so that I don’t need to have every little thing about my life scrutinized and compared to how things were done 30 years ago!

Mind you, there have been 3 new(ish) babies to come along in our extended family and these names have been [name_u]Presley[/name_u] (f), [name_m]Nash[/name_m] (m), and [name_u]Sonny[/name_u] (m) - I’m not saying any of these are bad names, but she hates them and I’m feeling like she’s trying to put her foot down with me so I go ULTRA traditional.

I’m sorry you went through this. Honestly, and this might be rude, but I feel your mother is acting extremely immature. I see NOTHING wrong with [name_f]Elle[/name_f] Otens. Take this as a learning experience and never discuss names with her again. I am sure when you do become pregnant she will be boldly announcing her suggestions.

Well, [name_f]Elle[/name_f] Otens doesn’t sound good to me. Have you taken it for a test drive? Starbucks test? Since you’ve been stuck on [name_f]Elle[/name_f] for so long you may have blinders up. If the combo doesn’t bother you and you think there’s nothing wrong with [name_f]Elle[/name_f] Otens then own it. If you’re confident in her name then your child will be too

And yes people’s opinions have changed my mind about a name, for better and for worse. They showed me positives/negatives about the name that I hadn’t thought of. I consider that a good thing. I prefer people be honest and straightforward with me