LAST name change

General Name Discussion
1

[name_m]Hi[/name_m] all!

My husband and I (and four littles) are considering changing our last name. The reason is that my husband’s father is estranged from us and a generally awful person; we no longer want to carry on his family name. It is worth noting he has the exact same name as DH (DH is the “II”). The last name DH has chosen is “MacTavish” which is another family name. Our current surname is super common and not really remarkable at all; however I have always hated it because I’ve never cared for FIL! In fact DH and I were married for 3 years…and I was 8 months pregnant with DD1…before I changed my maiden name.

My questions:

  1. Is that crazy?
  2. [name_m]How[/name_m] would you handle the awkwardness in every day life? At work? School? Family/friends?
  3. What are your personal thoughts on MacTavish? What does it make you think of?

It is worth noting all of our names sound BETTER with MacTavish. Also the expense of a name change, though steep, is not an issue.

I really appreciate your thoughts!!

2

  1. No, it isn’t crazy. It sounds like you both are in agreement and it is important to you both.

  2. I mean, I personally wouldn’t go about telling everyone how horrible your FIL is (just because it isn’t exactly anyone’s business and it could also be hurtful to people who do care for him) but you could be honest in that you both wanted to change it. People may be confused, surprised, or even upset, but it is ultimately your decision and not one that you should have to explain. I’d just expect there to be emotions involved and expect to exercise patience until things blow over. Alternatively, if people really want an explanation, you could try the angle that things were a little too confusing with both men having the same name.

As far as work, school, or business, I’d check with human resource departments to see what sort of documentation needs submitted. Again, it would take some getting used to but I’m sure this isn’t the rarest thing the world. After all, it is rather common for at least one partner in a marriage to change their surname! Also, it shouldn’t be too big of a change in those environments at all, since people would most likely just refer to you by your first names there.

  1. I really like MacTavish. I think I prefer the spelling to be [name_m]McTavish[/name_m] but that’s just me and I understand that it is a family name you are adopting. It makes me think of [name_f]Scotland[/name_f]…and apples, for some reason lol!

[name_f]Edit[/name_f]: Good luck!! I hope everything goes as smooth as possible! I’m sorry you guys are having to deal with such a situation.