We are having our first baby and just found out…it’s a boy!!!
Honestly, it’s not the gender that is an issue, but I’m super disappointed! Like a real case of the blues!
See, I was hoping to avoid a name battle with my husband, one I have known about for a long time… A girl would have done just that!
The problem is my husband has dreamed of naming his son, [name_m]Scott[/name_m], after his father for as long as he can remember. He even named all his stuff animals after his dad when he was little!
But honestly, I hate the name.
I don’t think it’s the name itself, [name_m]Scott[/name_m] is fine I guess. Maybe a bit bland.
But I feel confined!!!
As someone who has loved names and made lists/ perfected sibling sets for years… there is just no excitement in it for me.
My husband is a great guy and I’d love to be able to have a change of heart and let his chosen name stand… but I am really struggling!
To make matters worse, my husband keeps bringing up some conversation we had over 5 years ago when I told him I didn’t mind the name.
Does anyone have any advice?
( FYI: I’ve tried the middle name being [name_m]Scott[/name_m] but he is not biting on that. )
To me, there is really only one rule of baby naming: both parents (providing both are involved) need to be happy with the chosen name.
That’s it. If you’re not happy to call your son [name_m]Scott[/name_m], then it’s not even on the table. Your suggestion of [name_m]Scott[/name_m] as a middle seems more than reasonable as a compromise, considering you’re not wild about the name but know it means a lot to him, but as a first it’s sinply not an option.
The same of course goes for any names that you may suggest that he just doesn’t want to use, for whatever reason.
[name_f]Scotland[/name_f]? Definitely an out-there name, and one which would work better if you have some sort of association with the country, but definitely a more exciting name.
Or what about [name_u]Scout[/name_u]? It is more traditionally a girls name, although I see no reason why it wouldn’t work on a boy. Not the exact same sound, but similar.
Any chance you could name him [name_m]Scott[/name_m] (something) and call him by his middle name? Or some mash-up of a first and middle? For instance, [name_m]Scott[/name_m] [name_m]Louis[/name_m] could be [name_u]Scottie[/name_u]-[name_u]Lou[/name_u] or something. Cute for a little kid at least.
Generally speaking I do agree that both parents need to at least like a name, but I suspect that no matter what [name_m]Scott[/name_m] is going to have to be part of the name because it has such significance to your husband. That doesn’t get him a free pass on compromising with you, but especially since you don’t actually hate [name_m]Scott[/name_m] you just find it bland you may have to resign yourself to it. I am sure once the name is associated with your child you will dislike it slightly less because you love the child, even if the name (in whatever form it ends up being used) isn’t your favorite.
I think that he is being quite unreasonable if he wont consider [name_m]Scott[/name_m] as a middle name, maybe there is another way to honour his dad. Does his dad have a middle name? What about something significant to his dad that works as a name (perhaps if adapted).
I feel that you both need to love the chosen name, or at least really like it. I think [name_m]Scott[/name_m] as a middle name is a great solution and then you need to move onto the search for a first name. I hope your husband will quickly come to understand that both of you need to be equally involved in naming your son. It may feel overwhelming at first but there are thousands of names out there and I am sure you will come across the perfect one!
I agree with most of the others that if one parent doesn’t like one name, then it shouldn’t be used as a first name. It’s unfair, especially considering you’re going to be the one going through something as exhausting as pregnancy! Talk to your husband about how you feel and how you should compromise. I’m sure it’s hard for him to get over the idea of not having a son called [name_m]Scott[/name_m], but if he loves you he’ll eventually agree to a name that you both enjoy, most likely something with [name_m]Scott[/name_m] in the middle. Good luck!
I’m going to be the voice of dissension and give this one to your husband. It sounds like you’d like to use a name that you love and your husband doesn’t mind. [name_m]How[/name_m] about using a name that your husband loves and you don’t mind for this kiddo? I know it’s not ideal, but if he cares so much…You have an opportunity to show love to your husband in a very meaningful and special way. Name him [name_m]Scott[/name_m] ______; you can even call him by his middle name. Plus, [name_u]Scotty[/name_u] is pretty adorable as a nickname. And [name_m]Scott[/name_m] is refreshingly unexpected on a baby today.
Something similar happened to me. I knew what I wanted to name a daughter for years, but told my husband that if we ever had a second daughter we could name her after his mother who died when he was young. We did have a second daughter and I kept my word. But I wasn’t completely happy about it. Daughter #2 has a lovely, classic name but I know I would have picked something more unusual. I’m not sure it’s due to the name but daughter #2 has always had a special bond with her father and she is thrilled to be the namesake of the grandmother she never knew. I suspect that as he grows, your son will be similarly thrilled to bear a name that is so meaningful to his father.
I agree with the poster above try for [name_m]Prescott[/name_m] it’s your best bet. He gets to call the kid [name_m]Scott[/name_m] you get to call the kid Prez it works itself out.
I think using [name_m]Scott[/name_m] as the middle name would be more than fair in this case. If you don’t love the name, it shouldn’t be on the table as a first name. (Especially considering that you are, presumably, the person carrying and delivering the baby and therefore enduring the brunt of the physical labor involved in bringing him into the world.) If you don’t want to spend 9 months building and delivering a [name_m]Scott[/name_m], then I firmly advise you to either 1) insist on using [name_m]Scott[/name_m] as a middle name and allowing your husband to call the boy that as much as he wants, or 2) use a name that incorporates [name_m]Scott[/name_m] somehow (like the aforementioned [name_m]Prescott[/name_m] or something), or 3) work out a completely different name you’re both happy with that honors his father in a different way.
I see women on these forums deferring to their husbands on names all the time, even though they are passionate about naming and have many other options they love. I don’t think “compromise” means just doing the thing he wants. Using [name_m]Scott[/name_m] as a middle name seems like a completely reasonable compromise to me.
I’m with your husband on this one… It’s his father’s name, for goodness sake. Obviously this has been weighing on him for years, and it’s the most significant, tangible thing he’ll ever be able to do to honor and uphold his father’s memory.
What about a middle name that you love and will create a nice nickname that your son can go by? Any S nickname could surely be fabricated by putting the right second name there.
[name_m]How[/name_m]'s this for an idea: Start a thread with a name or two that you’d be happy with your son going by, which start with S (or whatever) and let the berries here have fun coming up with a name combo to make that nickname, which starts with [name_m]Scott[/name_m]?
Surely you should be able to call your son by a moniker you like/love, and you husband can have closure on the loss of his father through the birth of his son.
One of you is going to lose here. If you agree then you hate your sons name but if you make him take it off the cards then he loses out on naming the kid after his dad. The best solution I can see is naming him [name_m]Prescott[/name_m] - It has [name_m]Scott[/name_m] in the name so if your husband wants to call him [name_m]Scott[/name_m] or [name_u]Scottie[/name_u] then he can do that but it’s not the full name. [name_m]Prescott[/name_m] would also go well with [name_m]Fitzpatrick[/name_m] from your signature if you have another child. The other option would be to use his dad’s middle name. Good luck!
You all are so wonderful! Such great and varied responses.
I like the idea of [name_m]Prescott[/name_m] or using [name_m]Scott[/name_m] then going by his middle name. Still not opposed to just using the name and letting it grow on me. But your posts have given me so much to think on.
I should add… I’ve not yet told my husband of my total lack of enthusiasm for the name.
When he mentioned it, I immediately scowled and said, “let’s talk about it some more”.
I just did not want to ruin the moment.
In our house let’s talk about it later means… I’ll disagree later lol!! So I’m sure he has some clue, but not to extent that I told you all!!
I’m not looking forward to crushing this dream… so I’ve wanted to see how strongly I really felt. I’ll need that clarity if I want to make my point clear to him.
I’ve waited a day to really think on the name…
still just not dazzled with it.
I left out something as I’m not sure it is an option I want… but my father passed away when I was 19.
My husband would completely understand if I wanted his name, [name_m]David[/name_m], as our son’s name.
The thing is… I’m not sure it would feel right to me; the idea of it makes me tear up instantly! I think being reminded of him would just be bittersweet for me… at first hard.
So much to think on. Thank you all for replying… it really has made my day!
You’ve got plenty of options to lay out and discuss when you’re up to it.
I don’t imagine I would want a kid to be named after my late parent, but we all grieve and want to remember differently and I can see that a child might really cherish being honoured in that way.
I think it’s unreasonable for him to say “baby’s name is [name_m]Scott[/name_m], no compromises.”. That’s not how picking a name works. [name_m]Scott[/name_m] should be the middle name, you both have to love the first name. Also, I think maybe having David Scott as the middle names could be lovely. You both get your fathers names in, but then you pick a first name you both love! So families are honoured equally.
[name_f]Do[/name_f] you think a variation of [name_m]David[/name_m] would help this situation?
Taavet
Taavetti
[name_m]Taavi[/name_m]
[name_m]Davis[/name_m] [name_m]Dawson[/name_m]!
Dawood
Honestly, it’s kind of a d*** move for him to bring up a conversation from FIVE years ago lol…minds change and that’s okay.