Here’s the short of it - are they worth it? Do they add anything practical to a name? I know they are fun to come up with and pair with first names, but I am really thinking about lived experience of middle names.
My longer thought process; I have planned for a while not to give my future children middle names, but all of a sudden I was questioning that decision. We live in the U.S. but following Latin American/Iberian custom my kids will have two last names, a total of 15 letters (a 6 letter name followed by a 9 letter name). It is a lot. For that reason I have gravitated towards just one first name that is relatively simple but packs a punch, so they still have the expected 3 names instead of the pretentious/overwhelming/regal 4 (depending on your perspective). Plus I have just never seen much utility in middle names, which are usually just relegated to a lonely optional initial on formal documents.
However, today I happened to be thinking about how limiting this is. I prefer names that are on the shorter side and don’t have automatic nicknames, which means my kids could really be stuck if they aren’t very fond of their name. My own mom hates her first name and always goes by her middle. I have a middle name (my grandmother’s) but despite the family connection I feel no association with my middle name and just feel it adds clunkiness to my already long first and last names. My partner doesn’t have a middle name and it has never bothered him at all.
Who else out there put serious consideration into giving a middle name at all? I know many people never even question the practice, but I am particularly interested in the thoughts of those who also did some soul searching on the subject.
Middle names can be beneficial for multiple reasons. Whether it’s using it in case the name is a little too “out there” as a first, a personal sentiment to you, identity reasons, (Say for example there are 2 [name_f]Emma[/name_f] Smith’s in one class, you can differentiate by [name_f]Emma[/name_f] [name_f]Bernadette[/name_f] “Emma B.” And [name_f]Emma[/name_f] [name_f]Marigold[/name_f] “Emma M”.) or even as a backup name in case the child hates their first name. They aren’t a necessity, but of course, they have the benefits.
I know a few people who don’t have middle names and the majority don’t have a problem with it and don’t care either way. If the child’s name is already long enough, there’s no need to make it longer. Sometimes it’s a cultural thing. No middle name benefits can be stuff like it takes less time to sign documents, or you won’t get teased for your second name. If you don’t have middle name in mind that feels sentimental to either you or your SO, I would personally say you’re better off no middle name at all because that’s a lot of letters, especially with the surname alone. But it’s up to you and your partner which one you think is more important and helpful in the long run.
There’s not really a need for a middle name, so if you don’t want to use one, your kids will be fine. [name_f]My[/name_f] husband is from Mexico, and half of his siblings have middle names and the other half don’t. [name_f]My[/name_f] husband is one of the siblings who has a middle name, Nasario, which is his father’s name.
We are living in the US, and I only gave our kids my husband’s paternal last name (also the last name I took when we got married), so they only have three names total. It’s just normal for me to have a middle name because everyone in my family has a middle name, whether it’s used or not. [name_f]My[/name_f] husband couldn’t care less if our kids had middle names or not.
Having a middle name did not help differentiate my name in any way because my first, middle and last names were all SO common (especially in the 90s) that I went to a small college with another woman with the same exact name as me. I kept my first and middle names (Jennifer Lynn), but changed my last name as soon as I could because my husband’s last name is almost unheard of where we live.
If your kids with have distinctive names without including a middle then its less of a big deal. [name_m]John[/name_m] [name_m]Smith[/name_m] obviously benefits from a middle name so he can be distinguished from other [name_m]John[/name_m] Smiths.
However it might still be useful from a security, identity theft perspective to have one? Im not sure.
As a backup name I think the value is limited. I would only do that if the first name was really uncommon. [name_f]Sunday[/name_f] [name_f]Elizabeth[/name_f], for example.
[name_f]Every[/name_f] other reason I can think of is just for fun: extra meaning, family connection, flow, cute monograms….
Where I live it’s actually common for a married woman to move their maiden name to the middle and drop their middle name legally when they get married. So then the middle name really is secret!
My mom did this when she got married. Her maiden name became her legal middle name and her actual middle name, Lynn, was dropped. She never changed her name back when she got divorced. I personally rather have Lynn as a middle name than Brown lol.
I didn’t change my last name to match my husbands when I got married but if I were to do it in the future I would 100% drop my middle and put my original last name in that spot. It makes so much sense to me! Maybe it’s like the original hyphenated last name? It makes it easier for people to find you who only knew you by your maiden name too. I actually had no idea people didn’t do this everywhere in the US until I got married and my mother in law commented that I would have the same initials as my sister in law and I was thinking “but our middle names wouldn’t be the same letter…”
I mean, for my last name, it’s not like anyone would find me online with my first and maiden name. There are way too many other people with the same name combination. On my resume, I put my maiden name in parentheses because I worked a couple years under my maiden name before getting married.
As somebody that has a very long name including two quite creative middle names I’ve always loved that I have them. I feel like it gives my full name an extra bit of individuality and it’s also a great point of conversation when I meet new people etc. I’m a big advocate for middles.
Like the Latin phrase: omne trium perfectum things in threes are appealing to the human ear and eye, so three names is the perfect amount for me. For some, that means first, middle, and last. [name_f]My[/name_f] children will have these three names, as do my husband and I. It’s up to you whether the first and two lasts are enough and sound and look nice or if you’d want to give a middle name. Personally, four names always sounds kind of off to me. On this forum, the combos with two middles sound okay, but that’s because there’s no last name attached on the end.
For me middle names are rather important. In Iceland, where I grew up, people don’t really have middle names as in other countries, but some people have two first names and they’re both seen as equally important. So if your name is, for example, Óli Snær, both names will be on all documents. You won’t be just Óli unless you actively decide that’s what you want to go by (or when close friends and family use it as a nickname). This probably also has to do with the fact that most Icelanders don’t have a last name.
Where I live now people have just a first name, middle name (if you wish) and a last name. But to me personally the middle name is just as important as the first, even if you don’t use it daily. We call my second son by his middle name regularly though.
If you prefer not to give your child a middle name, that’s obviously fine. But my children’s middle names are meaningful to me and definitely add something to their identity.