Letting my partner pick the name

My fiancé told me that he has a boys name picked out. [name_m]Ryker[/name_m]. He’s a huge [name_f]Star[/name_f] Trek fan. He said he’s had this name picked out for a long time.
He’s pretty open to any middle name though.

I have a son from a previous relationship: [name_m]Henry[/name_m] [name_m]Walter[/name_m]

The last name sounds awful to me with the name [name_m]Ryker[/name_m]. The last name is Vickers.

I don’t like the name [name_m]Ryker[/name_m].
I’ve tried offering different names in place of [name_m]Ryker[/name_m] and it’s a no go. He won’t budge.

[name_f]Do[/name_f] I pick a middle name more my style and maybe call him that? [name_m]Just[/name_m] deal with it? :-?

Oh, I don’t have an issue with the name [name_m]Ryker[/name_m] in general but you’re right it does sound a bit clunky with surname.
Is it just Next Generation he’s a big fan of or could you try to come up with a list of potential other [name_f]Star[/name_f] Trek based names from any series?

Well, [name_m]Ryker[/name_m] Vickers is a mouthful. But the bigger issue is ‘he won’t budge.’ This should be a mutual decision. You both have to like the name, if not love it. Tell him to make a list of at least 5 names he likes and you can start from there.

Somehow I managed to skip over ‘he won’t budge’ when I read your post originally. Schickler is right, naming your baby needs to be a mutual decision and he should be willing to compromise.

Why not put [name_m]Ryker[/name_m] in the middle spot and find a first name that you both like (& that goes better with the last name)? Your fiancé could still call him [name_m]Ryker[/name_m].

If it was my fiancé I’d tell him to dream on (probably after yelling at him, because I’d be really provoked if he actually thought he had any more “naming rights” than me). Naming is a compromise and I honestly think it’s quite selfish of him to refuse considering any other names. I would only let my SO “choose” the name if he had any important family names that he wanted to pass on (i.e. if he was a IV or if it was the name of someone very dear to him). To me, it sounds like it will confusing for your son if his dad calls him by one name ([name_m]Ryker[/name_m]) and his mom by something else.

[name_m]Ryker[/name_m] is also miles away stylistically from the classic [name_m]Henry[/name_m], but I don’t know if that’s something that bothers you (?)

[name_m]Don[/name_m]'t let your SO name him [name_m]Ryker[/name_m] if you don’t like it. That’s not right. Both people should like the name and it’s not fair for him to say he will not consider any other names. I think it would be confusing for one of you to call him by his first name and the other parent to call him by his middle.

I agree with you about [name_m]Ryker[/name_m] - I am not a fan. Reminds me of Riker’s Island.

What about [name_m]Will[/name_m] [name_m]Ryker[/name_m] Vickers?
Or [name_m]William[/name_m] [name_m]Ryker[/name_m] Vickers
Or [name_m]Liam[/name_m] [name_m]Ryker[/name_m] Vickers
Or [name_m]William[/name_m] [name_m]Thomas[/name_m] Vickers! (my favorite)

(In ST:TNG–[name_m]Ryker[/name_m]'s name is [name_m]William[/name_m] [name_m]Thomas[/name_m] [name_m]Ryker[/name_m]. I’m also a big fan of the show.)

What about [name_m]Will[/name_m] [name_m]Ryker[/name_m] Vickers?
Or [name_m]William[/name_m] [name_m]Ryker[/name_m] Vickers
Or [name_m]Liam[/name_m] [name_m]Ryker[/name_m] Vickers
Or [name_m]William[/name_m] [name_m]Thomas[/name_m] Vickers! (my favorite)

(In ST:TNG–[name_m]Ryker[/name_m]'s name is [name_m]William[/name_m] [name_m]Thomas[/name_m] [name_m]Ryker[/name_m]. I’m also a big fan of the show.)

If he insists, then he can call him by his middle name, but I’d be hastily reminding him that this little life is popping out of your parts and you have at the very least rights to compromise.

No, you shouldn’t settle with [name_m]Ryker[/name_m] if you really don’t like it. In this case you need to find a compromise and he should be open to that.

agree with everyone else. If you dislike [name_m]Ryker[/name_m], you shouldn’t use it, as I’m sure if he disliked a name you loved, you’d let it go for him. I like the suggestion of using it as a middle if you want and picj a first name you both love

Thank you everyone for all the comments.
I’m going to try and talk to him about it when he gets off work tonight.
These hormones have me emotional over a name.
I would so love [name_m]William[/name_m] [name_m]Ryker[/name_m] vickers but an ex boyfriend of mine is a [name_m]William[/name_m]. So that’s a no go for me.

Both parents need to agree on such a permanent decision.

[name_f]Do[/name_f] not compromise what your name wishes are!! No one person in a partnership should haven’t 100% of the vote. I would name him [name_m]Ry[/name_m] before I would name him [name_m]Ryker[/name_m]… [name_m]Ry[/name_m] Vickers is pretty nice. Or it would have to be in middle spot… [name_m]Thomas[/name_m] [name_m]Ryker[/name_m] maybe…

I wouldn’t budge if you hate the name. I agree with the previous posters, its got to be a mutual decision or you will probably end up resenting not having a say.

I would not allow my child to be named any name I did not like.

[name_m]Ryker[/name_m] just makes me think of Rikers Island.

[name_m]Ryker[/name_m] Vickers rhyme a little too much for me.
[name_f]Do[/name_f] you think he would put [name_m]Ryker[/name_m] as a mn?

Picking a name does have to be mutual. Someone might have to compromise a little bit, but if you hate this name you shouldn’t use it.

[name_m]How[/name_m] about:
[name_m]Nathaniel[/name_m] [name_m]Ryker[/name_m]

[name_m]Nathaniel[/name_m] flows nicely with your last name, and it sounds good with [name_m]Henry[/name_m].

Personally I dislike the name [name_m]Ryker[/name_m] and your last name isn’t doing it any favors. I think like others have said thought, the “won’t budge” is more of an issue. You both don’t need to love the name but you should both like it at least. I would start over from scratch or use [name_m]Ryker[/name_m] in the middle spot. If you’re fine with [name_f]Star[/name_f] Trek names but maybe not this one, why not look at other naming options?

[name_m]William[/name_m]
[name_m]Scott[/name_m] ([name_u]Scotty[/name_u])
[name_m]Thomas[/name_m] ([name_m]William[/name_m] T. Riker)
[name_m]Kirk[/name_m]
[name_f]Lore[/name_f]
[name_m]George[/name_m]
[name_m]Montgomery[/name_m]
[name_m]Wesley[/name_m]

All of those have [name_f]Star[/name_f] Trek connections and I personally think sound much better with your current childs name.