I notice other posts link the names to nameberry, when I post my names never link and they are just black not colored pink blue or yellow. Am I doing something wrong?
[name_f]Rachel[/name_f]
It’s supposed to happen automatically, but is usually not visible until you refresh the page. It can take some time 
It takes a few minutes for it to work.
Yeah it takes a while to work. Also, if you edit your post before its hand the chance to work then it won’t link then at all.
From my personal experience the names still do appear if you edit before they show up, but if you edit in any names after the links have already been made they won’t show up unless you put the link tags in manually.