I’m going to say that [name_f]Maeve[/name_f] is probably the better option. I know a family that is very Irish, and their oldest daughter is named [name_f]Maeve[/name_f], likely spelled that way because it is the more wearable spelling everywhere outside of [name_f]Ireland[/name_f]. I think [name_f]Meabh[/name_f] would be tough, though not necessarily impossible, for a lot of people, including you, as parents, and your daughter. I do get wanting to be authentic, but sometimes you have to bend a little. In my experience, the [name_f]Maeve[/name_f] spelling feels just as authentic, even if it doesn’t look it.
I don’t think either of you needs to “win”. Try really talking with him about all the pros and cons of both spellings – write out side-by-side lists if you want. If he still won’t budge, I suppose it wouldn’t be horrible to go with [name_f]Meabh[/name_f]. And I recommend you make sure he’s aware of how much correcting you will constantly have to do of other people’s spelling and pronunciation of her name. It all depends on just how annoying that will get to you.
Overall, I wouldn’t start over entirely since you both love the name itself. It seems like a perfect choice, and I love how it sounds with your boys’ names!
[name_f]Maeve[/name_f] is a beautiful name! I’d just bring up to him that what’s most important is how it will affect the child and [name_f]Meabh[/name_f] will be much more difficult to explain/deal with. Maybe showing him a video of [name_f]Saoirse[/name_f] [name_m]Ronan[/name_m] being annoyed about people messing up her name will help… If you can’t agree I’d suggest moving onto another name because not living in [name_f]Ireland[/name_f] and having the spelling [name_f]Meabh[/name_f] will be very trying. [name_f]Imo[/name_f] if there are significant foreseeable problems that your child will have with her name for the rest of her life then this should outweigh your love of the name because it’s in her best interest.
I voted [name_f]Maeve[/name_f], but I would probably choose to use the name with either spelling.
If you both like [name_f]Oona[/name_f]/[name_f]Una[/name_f], I really think either spelling is quite workable. [name_f]Oona[/name_f]/[name_f]Una[/name_f] is one of my favorite names–and this could be a good compromise.
While I agree with you and feel that [name_f]Maeve[/name_f] is far more usable outside of [name_f]Ireland[/name_f] than [name_f]Meabh[/name_f] would be (the name would very rarely be pronounced or spelled correctly I’d imagine), as this is something he is passionate about, and for a very legitimate reason, I think it’s time to let the name go completely, and move on. It’s just not worth the argument.
I think [name_f]Sabine[/name_f] is gorgeous, so perhaps you could revisit that? Also, if the name itself you both love so much, yet can’t agree on the spelling mainly due to the potential pronunciation issues, perhaps you could just move it, locking [name_f]Meabh[/name_f] in as a middle where it wouldn’t be as much of an everyday issue? You could then agree on a different first together and come to think of it, [name_f]Sabine[/name_f] [name_f]Meabh[/name_f] would actually be lovely.
I honestly don’t see [name_f]Maebh[/name_f] being any harder to wear than [name_f]Niamh[/name_f] or [name_f]Aoife[/name_f], and living in [name_f]Canada[/name_f], I’ve met at least 2 of each, none from [name_f]Ireland[/name_f]. It would take some correcting, but really, if you truly love the name, and this is the only way DH is going to go for it, it might be worth reconsidering?
Also, I’d like to echo the idea of [name_f]Maeve[/name_f]/[name_f]Maebh[/name_f] nn [name_f]Mae[/name_f]!
This!! I don’t think [name_f]Maeve[/name_f] is inauthentic. If you’re not living in [name_f]Ireland[/name_f], [name_f]Maebh[/name_f] would be very difficult to contend with. My name has multiple spellings, and I’m forever grateful my parents went with the most common one, regardless of if it’s the true original or not.
That said, if he can’t agree to [name_f]Maeve[/name_f], I would move on to another name.
Suggestions:
[name_f]Ciara[/name_f] or [name_f]Cara[/name_f]
[name_f]Shauna[/name_f] or [name_u]Shannon[/name_u]
[name_f]Kayleigh[/name_f]
[name_f]Fiona[/name_f]
[name_f]Siobhan[/name_f] - an authentic spelling that is widely used
[name_f]Imogen[/name_f]
[name_f]Nessa[/name_f]
I would go with [name_f]Maeve[/name_f]. It’s an acceptable spelling now and not seen as an “insult.” I know an Irish family who lives in the US. All of their daughters (4) have Irish names and all but their last one ([name_f]Saoirse[/name_f]) spelled their names the more “phonetically friendly” way. I highly doubt they would’ve done that if it was considered an insult to their native country that they visit often. Unless you plan on moving to [name_f]Ireland[/name_f], [name_f]Meabh[/name_f] will be butchered in terms of pronunciation.
If you can’t come to an agreement in terms of spelling (which would be such a shame because I absolutely love [name_f]Maeve[/name_f]), I would go with [name_f]Oona[/name_f]/[name_f]Una[/name_f]. Either spelling is phonetic and would be self-explanatory in terms of pronunciation. It’s a very pretty name as well and even more exotic than [name_f]Maeve[/name_f] these days.
[name_f]Maeve[/name_f] is a very common spelling in [name_f]Ireland[/name_f] (e.g. the writer [name_f]Maeve[/name_f] Binchy) so I have a hard time seeing it as inauthentic. Lots of Irish names are commonly spelt in Anglicised ways in [name_f]Ireland[/name_f] (e.g. [name_f]Orla[/name_f], [name_f]Dervla[/name_f]). They’re not inauthentic or offensive. But it sounds like your husband has a strong opinion on this matter, so I would perhaps recommend considering a different name. [name_f]Sabine[/name_f] is lovely.
To my knowledge, [name_f]Nora[/name_f] is spelt the same in both Irish and English, so I would recommend it.
If it’s going to come down to someone winning and someone losing, then you all haven’t decided on a name and you need to continue the search. If you’re feeling burnt out, taking a bit of time before returning to the subject is perfectly fine and could be helpful.
[name_f]Maeve[/name_f] is beautiful, but [name_f]Meabh[/name_f] will be a burden. Anglicized names are perfectly acceptable and commonly used in [name_f]Ireland[/name_f] by the Irish. The fact that he considers it “inauthentic-verging-on-insult” is a bit insulting to them, really.
Anyway, [name_f]Una[/name_f] / [name_f]Oona[/name_f] is a lovely option. Both are authentic spellings. [name_f]Una[/name_f] is from uan meaning “lamb” and [name_f]Oona[/name_f] is an Irish variant (and not an Anglicization) of [name_f]Una[/name_f].
I prefer [name_f]Maeve[/name_f], but only for aesthetic reasons. I understand your husband’s reasons for wanting [name_f]Meabh[/name_f] but would stick with [name_f]Maeve[/name_f] based on your location. It’d be so much easier for your daughter and I’d only consider [name_f]Meabh[/name_f] if you lived in [name_f]Ireland[/name_f] or the UK where Irish names are more commonly used.
I wouldn’t move on from this name, it is clear you both like it a lot, it’s just getting the spelling issue sorted. [name_f]Sabine[/name_f] is cute, but I prefer [name_f]Maeve[/name_f], and you can have the nickname [name_f]Mae[/name_f] too!
Thanks everyone! Your responses make me feel a little less crazy.
I’ve spoken to both a [name_f]Maeve[/name_f] (American) and a Méabh (Irish) and both basically say “go either way”. Méabh likes the way her name is spelled but said [name_f]Maeve[/name_f] would be perfectly acceptable, [name_f]Maeve[/name_f] is in her 30s and said it was such a different name growing up that she had to spell it anyways. Basically, they didn’t help solve the problem.
I really would like [name_f]Maeve[/name_f] to work. [name_f]Oona[/name_f]/[name_f]Una[/name_f] and [name_f]Sabine[/name_f] are both really nice but there’s something warm about [name_f]Maeve[/name_f] that I love. I would absolutely consider [name_f]Meabh[/name_f] for the middle if we found a first we want to use. I’ve even tried getting creative and suggested using MaeveAnnabeth H****** (our last initial) because then the Irish spelling would be in there. No bites.
Of the suggestions, my favorites are [name_u]June[/name_u], [name_f]Iona[/name_f], [name_f]Matilda[/name_f], [name_f]Imogen[/name_f], and [name_u]Meredith[/name_u].
I personally adore [name_f]Maeve[/name_f]. I think it’s absolutely stunning and I love it for you. [name_m]Callum[/name_m], [name_m]Lachlan[/name_m] and [name_f]Maeve[/name_f] sound perfect together. In regards to the spelling of [name_f]Maeve[/name_f], I knew it was an Irish name but I didn’t realise that this wasn’t the actual Irish spelling! I personally wouldn’t have known how to pronounce [name_f]Maebh[/name_f], but I don’t think that should be a deal breaker. I think it is still a very pretty name.
HOWEVER.
I personally don’t think it’s fair to say that you ‘won’ with the spelling of [name_m]Lachlan[/name_m] because it an alternative preference was not suggested until after the paperwork was filled out. However, I definitely think it’s important for both you and your husband to love the name and the spelling you choose. Yes, you could wait to see if he will come around, but I would be concerned that even if he agreed he still wouldn’t be happy. So I would suggest looking at another name. [name_f]Sabine[/name_f] is gorgeous and I think it fits great with [name_m]Callum[/name_m] and [name_m]Lachlan[/name_m].
Agree with others that [name_f]Maeve[/name_f] is easier outside of [name_f]Ireland[/name_f]-can’t speak for within. I also find it more readable like your sons’ names and do think it fits nicely. Additionally, from the comments I’ve read a lot of people seem to be typing/spelling [name_f]Meabh[/name_f] wrong anyway which could get annoying. If you’re unable to get over the hurdle there, I think your other two options work nicely.
I like [name_f]Sabine[/name_f] for you and the suggestion of [name_f]Sabine[/name_f] [name_f]Meabh[/name_f]/[name_f]Maeve[/name_f] is a nice one. [name_m]Callum[/name_m], [name_m]Lachlan[/name_m], & [name_f]Sabine[/name_f] is a very peaceful sibset and the names feel like they fit together.
I think [name_f]Una[/name_f]/[name_f]Oona[/name_f] is also a good choice. I like that regardless of spelling, it’s still intuitive to pronounce, unlike [name_f]Meabh[/name_f] where you have to remember the conventions of another language. [name_m]Callum[/name_m], [name_m]Lachlan[/name_m], and [name_f]Una[/name_f]/[name_f]Oona[/name_f] is also pretty sweet.
I don’t think you can make a bad call, either way, so long as you’re both happy with the name you wind up choosing.