[name_m]Hi[/name_m] all, I’m new here and firstly want to apologise if I am in the wrong forum. I have a naming problem I wanted some outside help one.
My birth name is [name_f]Anna[/name_f] and I’m 30. Years ago I started a blog under a sort of nickname ([name_f]Annie[/name_f]), that my parents would now and again call me. It was a great idea because it kept my identity safe and people couldn’t get any big personal details about me. Move on 5 years and my blog became rather popular and bigger than I expected, meaning people who I’ve met on that side are in my life all call me [name_f]Annie[/name_f] and part of my everyday life. Initially when I first starting blogging I’d introduce myself as [name_f]Anna[/name_f], but then it got so confusing so in the end anything blog related was [name_f]Annie[/name_f].
I went through a real rough patch in life before my blog took off and so any time I look back and see me tagged as [name_f]Anna[/name_f] I associate it with a bad time in my life, whereas my ‘[name_f]Annie[/name_f]’ days are all positive. With that in mind I decided to try to introduce my blog name to my real life, after all I’d gained so many actual friends in blogging who already called me [name_f]Annie[/name_f].
Initially I didn’t do much I would just sign cards as [name_f]Annie[/name_f] or whatever, but then when there was another [name_f]Anna[/name_f] in my friendship group so I just said to the group to call me [name_f]Annie[/name_f] to make it easier. That I will say has stuck… pretty much and so two of the girls always introduce me to others as [name_f]Annie[/name_f] when I’m with them. Some others don’t. It’s other people it hasn’t stuck with. My parents still call me one or the other as they always have, all my old school friends regardless of changing my name on fb still call me [name_f]Anna[/name_f]. My larger family still call me [name_f]Anna[/name_f] as well. One of my friends from school is also a blogger and will call me by [name_f]Anna[/name_f] in front of other bloggers, I asked why she kept doing it because that is a bit confusing to that circle, said she found it weird and I’ll always be [name_f]Anna[/name_f]. Which made me feel embarrassed and I started to get offended when I’d asked people to call me a name and they didn’t. So every time I was called [name_f]Anna[/name_f] I felt it was bad. I started new jobs introducing myself to be called [name_f]Annie[/name_f] and that has stuck, but that slightly crosses over with my blogging. All my emails are [name_f]Annie[/name_f] and I’m introduced as that too.
[name_m]Skip[/name_m] to the day before 2017 starts, I’m a bit perplexed what to do. Because people still seem to be struggling so much with it, should I simply go back to being [name_f]Anna[/name_f] and leave [name_f]Annie[/name_f] to my blog? I know this doesn’t sound like a massive deal, but I feel like I’m going through a bit of an identity crisis! I don’t even know what to introduce myself as to as anymore and feel a little bit of an idiot and somewhat embarrassed for trying to change peoples minds.
Any help would be awesome… again I know it might not sound much but I’m getting very stressed over it all.
p.s planning on starting a family this year and this website is awesome!
Honestly you seem more comfortable with the name [name_f]Annie[/name_f] so go by that. Make a public status being like "Hey I really want to go by the name [name_f]Annie[/name_f] for A , B and C reasons (Though you don’t have to justify if you don’t want to) I know it’s going to be weird for everyone. At the end of the day if it makes you happy the people in your life will adjust.
In concerns of that friend tell her that in blogging circles you will only answer to the name [name_f]Annie[/name_f].
Thank you for replying to me and not laughing at my problem!
I did actually change my name back on Facebook from [name_f]Annie[/name_f] to [name_f]Anna[/name_f] about 2 seconds ago, and had the nickname in brackets underneath as you couldn’t do that before. Haha I was a little impulsive then, but deactivated my account until I decide what to do. That sort of checks the boxes I think… I’m still going to introduce myself as [name_f]Annie[/name_f] I think, all my circle of friends know that I prefer it, so it’s up to them if they call it me or not. I’ve got my head around some people still calling me [name_f]Anna[/name_f], I do love that name loads but it just has a bit of dark edge to it from my past. I guess being the age I am, I’ve met so many people under my actual name it’s never going to full transition over.
Sounds like quite a dilemma you have! I understand you associate [name_f]Anna[/name_f] with a dark period in your life, but do you have any other attachment to the name? If you like it and still feel like it’s connected to your identity, then that’s reason enough to keep it. If you felt entirely disconnected from [name_f]Anna[/name_f] and associated it with nothing but the bad times, then I’d understand why you’d want to drop it entirely. So your attachment to the name and what it means to you might be something to ponder over while you decide whether or not to make the permanent switch.
Not to invalidate your struggle— I can see why it might be confusing to flip flop between [name_f]Annie[/name_f] and [name_f]Anna[/name_f], but they’re so similar I don’t think it’s much of a big deal. People probably aren’t going to be baffled if you explain [name_f]Anna[/name_f] is your real name, and [name_f]Annie[/name_f] is just a nickname. It’s not like you chose a pseudonym that’s so far off from your real name that nobody would understand it. You can continue to introduce yourself as [name_f]Annie[/name_f], and let the people you’ve known a while call you [name_f]Anna[/name_f]. If you decide you don’t want to go by [name_f]Anna[/name_f] at all anymore, I think if you’re honest, most people will be happy to oblige in calling you [name_f]Annie[/name_f]. Yeah, you might get a few comments like, “Well you’ve always been [name_f]Anna[/name_f] to me, so that’s what I’ll call you!” It’s tough, but if you’re serious about the switch, then you just have to be firm and persistent.
Nope, don’t switch back just because some people don’t get it. If [name_f]Annie[/name_f] makes you happier than [name_f]Anna[/name_f], stick with it!
I have been [name_f]Juliet[/name_f] all my life and am just about to finally make the switch to [name_u]Julianne[/name_u] when we move next week. I have been so so incredibly stressed about this “little” change as well, so I can empathize with your dilemma.
I had a friend tell me last night “Huhh?? Your name is [name_f]Juliet[/name_f] and you will always be [name_f]Juliet[/name_f], that’s just life!” And I said, haha ok well you can call me whatever you want. (This is a good friend of mine; if it was someone else I would say, “No seriously, call me [name_u]Julianne[/name_u]” end of discussion.)
I think some people may be confused by the switch and unsure what name you actually want them to use, in which case an announcement on fb or a mass email to friends/family that just says “Hey everyone, I’ve changed my name to [name_f]Annie[/name_f] because it makes me happier, and most people already call me that anyway, so you can call me [name_f]Annie[/name_f] from here on out! Thanks! -[name_f]Annie[/name_f]” may help make it clear and official in everyone’s mind.
I think other people will just take a long time to switch or never switch because they don’t care enough to remember and/or don’t understand enough to care. For these people I think either you can reiterate to them individually that you would like to be called [name_f]Annie[/name_f] now, or you can just let it go.
You certainly don’t have to abandon your preferences and retreat back to the same-old just because some people aren’t instantly catching on. What do you want? What do you like? Is it [name_f]Annie[/name_f]? Well great! Then that’s what your name should be!
As someone in a somewhat similar boat, you have my full support (:
Honestly, I’d allow a measure of grace to those who have known you for years as [name_f]Anna[/name_f]. I really don’t think they mean any malice by it. It can be hard to know someone by one name, then have them switch it up. For all the negative memories you have as [name_f]Anna[/name_f], they likely has positive ones with [name_f]Anna[/name_f]. Perhaps go by [name_f]Annie[/name_f], but let close friends who know [name_f]Anna[/name_f] still call you [name_f]Anna[/name_f].
I don’t even know what to introduce myself as to as anymore and feel a little bit of an idiot and somewhat embarrassed for trying to change peoples minds.