middle child problems

My parents are both from families of three children, and they decided to have only two. Everyone I talk to seems to say it’s never good to have an odd number of kids, the middle child is always the most difficult, blah, blah lol. help me defy the stereotypes with your stories! tell me how great your middle baby is!

I have no great stories, I’m one of those ‘no odd numbers’ for kids kind of people. I will have 2, or 4, or 6, or 8 or 10 even, but never 3, 5,7,or 9! I come from a family with 3 kids, and my middle brother is a complete mess. This has also happened to a few other families I know, but then again, along with anything else to do with kids, you can’t stereotype. A middle child could hypothetically be just as well-adjusted as the first and last child, or the first child could be a total mess compared to the middle child.

My best friend is a middle, and while she can be quite anxious and neurotic, she’s generally well adjusted!

She’s successful in her career and is about to get married to a wonderful man.

I’d say she’s the most successful and happy of her siblings.

She’s bustin up the stereotype!

My mom is the middle and she turned out far better than her brothers.

I’m a middle child! Honestly, the only problem I’ve ever had being a middle child is people telling me there should be a problem. I’m good at negotiating and communicating, skills the middle child needs in order to deal with their siblings. I do have a certain need for acceptance and pleasing people, which I’m guessing comes with the territory. You have a bossy older siblings and the noisy do as I please little one, you need to be calm, collected, fair, open minded and pleasing (a certain amount of this anyway) as a middle child. Most of my middle child friends are independent and creative, none of them real trouble makers.

I think if you ignore your middle child there will be a problem. If you’re a good parent you will love and make as much time for your middle child as the first and last born. [name]Don[/name]'t make a fuss about someone being a middle child and they will be fine.

Famous middle children (to name a few):
[name]Anne[/name] Hathaway
[name]Bill[/name] Gates
[name]David[/name] Letterman
[name]Glenn[/name] Close
[name]John[/name] F [name]Kennedy[/name]
[name]Martin[/name] [name]Luther[/name] [name]King[/name], jr
[name]Nelson[/name] [name]Mandela[/name]
[name]Princess[/name] [name]Diana[/name]
[name]Sarah[/name] [name]Jessica[/name] [name]Parker[/name]

I’m the middle of five, and I’m the exact opposite of what the OP described. I was the golden child growing up (or, more accurately, better at getting my siblings in trouble). I did get ignored sometimes, but I also realize that my older and younger siblings all had a lot more problems than I did. I was the one who did what she was told, never had any special needs education-wise, or anything.

All four of my siblings had problems with dyslexia and ADHD, while I never did (by contrast, I was in the most advanced classes I could get into, while my siblings were all struggling at grade level). My older brother fixed those problems pretty much by himself when he went off to boarding school. My older sister is almost completely estranged from the family because no one wants to deal with her crap anymore (she takes a “the world owes me everything for just being here” approach to life). My younger brothers are both doing very well. YB #1 exceeded everyone’s expectations. He pretty much willed himself to fix his dyslexia and ADHD, and is now a junior in college (in a very difficult program at a top university) and well on his way to graduate school. YB #2 is about to graduate high school, and will most likely join the military. He’s not very academic, and would do much better in a job like the military where he is required by an outside force to maintain discipline and keep him in line.

So, it’s not always the middle child that is the problem child. In fact, in my experience (both mine and that of my friends), middle children are the most independent and self-reliant because they are usually the ones to get lost in the shuffle and therefore have to do things for themselves more. My parents recognized that because they never had any problems with me, I tended to get less of their attention, so I would get one day each month when I would go and hang out with my dad, and one day with my mom. It was nice, and I certainly felt special, but I’m sure that they would have done this no matter where I was in the birth order. However, don’t push yourself on children, middle or otherwise. I was perfectly happy to be left alone, so if my parents had pushed me more, I think I would have pushed back more.

just wanted to clear up that I definitely am not trying to insult anyone, just curious on everyone’s opinions on the even/odd amount of children. thanks for your stories!

My dad is the second of five boys. To be honest, the next in line, [name]George[/name], ended up the best. To be fair they were all so naughty that when my youngest uncle got to school they called him “The Last of the Mohicans”. Uncle [name]George[/name] ended up with the best job, two great kids and a great fiance.

Our middle child is an awesome kid (no bias here, haha). He’s bright, sweet, and sociable. He definitely has the stereotypical chip on his shoulder at times, though, and seems to need to prove himself. He often needs to out-achieve his big brother, who is 13 months older. But I think his personality would be similar if he were in a different spot in the birth order, as my husband and I are stupidly competitive like that, too (but I am the oldest of two, and my husband is the youngest of three).

In my experience, birth order tendencies are really interesting and can provide some valuable insights, but every child is different. Things can be reversed, as is the case with our sons (usually, the oldest child tends to be the intense, overly-responsible one of the siblings).

Here is our family, in a nutshell:
Oldest (son): creative, scatterbrained, sensitive, would spend entire days drawing or playing with legos if allowed
Middle (son): outgoing, competitive, intense stickler for the rules… future police officer?
Youngest (daughter): friendly, talkative, conscientious

I am from a family of three and I’m the oldest my mum says I am there guinea pig to test everything on and my sister and brother seem to get it a bit easier my sister gets to do Gymnastics in [name]Perth[/name] 3 hours away from where we live and she recently went to Singapore to compete which is hard on me and my little brother because as the oldest its not right to be known as “[name]Adele[/name]'s sister” when she is almost 3 years younger then me :frowning: (also my parents are both youngest children my dad the youngest of 7 my mum the youngest of 2 so they honestly don’t get what its like to be the eldest child)

I think it really is a personality thing. My “middle” child (#3 of 4, soon to be 5) was the odd man out long before he was in the middle. My closest cousins when I was growing up were 3 sisters. There, too, it was the youngest who seemed to be “different”, excluded, blamed for things, etc.

Honestly, I don’t think any of us can say with definite certainty exactly how many children we will have, and it’s silly to worry about it. Be a good mama to the children you’re blessed with, and teach them to value, respect, and treat each other with kindness. :slight_smile: